


The Story of Us

by KirstyMuir (KMuir90), KMuir90



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Adoption, F/M, Heartbreak, Love, alternate universe/modern setting, second chance love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:22:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 62,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KMuir90/pseuds/KirstyMuir, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KMuir90/pseuds/KMuir90
Summary: May 2007, eighteen year old Jamie and seventeen year old Claire reluctantly give their child up for adoption after their parents persuade them it’s for the best. Claire holds a lot of resentment towards Jamie, his parents, and her own, so she moves down to London to become a doctor.Thirteen years later, Claire returns to Inverness when her mother suffers a stroke and is in hospital. How will Claire react when she learns that the daughter she reluctantly gave away, has actually been living with the Fraser’s for most of her life, thinking Jamie was her older brother?Faith Fraser always knew she was adopted, but she never knew who her biological parents were. Not until Ellen passes away and leaves a letter to each of her children. In the letter addressed to Faith, Ellen confesses to Jamie being the lass’ real father. How will Faith cope with the news that her brother is in fact her father?How will Jamie cope now that Claire is back and now holds even more anger and resentment towards him?Will they be able to all find their way back to one another and be the family they were truly supposed to be?
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 447
Kudos: 350





	1. Prologue

May 2007

Claire’s POV

Two days.

That’s how long I was made to keep my child before they took her away from me.

Two days.

That’s how long I had to be a mother to my little baby girl.

Two days.

That’s how long I had to bond with my child before she was literally ripped from my arms as I cried hysterically, begging them to bring her back to me.

They didn’t.

As I lay curled up in to a ball, holding myself, trying to protect myself as I sobbed my little heart out, Jamie just stood at the other side of the room. Watching me. His face was as cold as stone. He showed no emotion what so ever. Our beautiful little girl had just been snatched away from us, and it was like he didn’t even care.

I hated him.

I hated everyone.

My parents. His parents.

It was all of them that had convinced Jamie that giving our child away was for the best. I wasn’t so easily convinced by their words and suggestions, but then Jamie made me change my mind and agree to what they had suggested.

It killed me to say goodbye to our daughter. Why didn’t it affect him the same way?

Our daughter wasn’t planned. But she wasn’t a complete mistake either.

Jamie and I had been together in a serious and committed relationship for three years. We loved each other. Deeply. Our baby was created out of that love we shared. Why did he find it so easy to give her away?

I had been accepted to a University down in London for a pre med course. At first I didn’t want to accept it. I couldn’t stand to be so far away from Jamie. But now? I can’t stand to be anywhere near him. Just being in the same room as him makes my skin crawl.

“I will never forgive you for this.” I told him quietly as I passed him to leave the room. I was so upset, I couldn’t keep my voice from shaking. He didn’t answer me, and I couldn’t decide if that was better or made me feel even worse.


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all the love on this fic already. I’m really pleased so many of you are interested haha.
> 
> I decided to post this chapter tonight since the last one was so small.
> 
> Like I said, all the chapters are already written, but I do still need to edit them. Hopefully the next chapter will be ready to be posted at the weekend.
> 
> I really do hope you enjoy this wee fic. I wasn’t entirely sure if I was going to actually post it or not, because it was basically just a wee exercise to get me back in to writing again, but I’m glad I did decide to post.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Kirsty X

Claire’s POV

April 2020

“Do you know when you’ll be coming back home?” Frank asked me for the billionth time. I just ignored him and continued to pack up my suitcase. I hadn’t set foot in Inverness in almost thirteen years. If it wasn’t for my mother having just suffered from a stroke and needing me at home for a while, I wouldn’t even think about heading back to Scotland.

Scotland.

Even though I was born and raised in Oxford for the first ten years of my life before moving to Inverness, and then at the age of seventeen, I moved myself back down south for university, I still considered Scotland my home. It was where I fell in love with nature and gardening. Where most of my friends came from. Even though I had long since left, there was still a fair few people from my past that I kept in touch with. It was also the place where I first fell in love. The place I planned my future, with him. Scotland was my home. Where my mother still lives. Where I gave birth to my little baby girl almost thirteen years ago.

God. She’d be a teenager soon.

I often wonder what she would be like. Who she looks more like. Is she studious and interested in books like me? Or is she more of an adrenaline junkie searching for her next adventure, like him? I have no idea, and the saddest part was that I never will know. 

When our parents talked us in to giving our child up for adoption, they had suggested a closed adoption. That meant there would be no contact between us and our child. No photographs. Nothing. I wasn’t completely convinced, but it was all our parents would talk about, and in the end, after he told me it was probably for the best, I reluctantly agreed. It was the biggest mistake of my life.

Yes, giving up my child meant that I was able to go on to medical school and become a doctor like I always dreamed of, but it came with a price. Or two. I didn’t just lose my baby girl. I lost him too. We no longer fitted together. After a three year relationship, and deciding to give away our little baby girl, we ended up resenting each other. Well, I resented him. I still do. Even after all these years, I still blame him for making me believe we were doing the right thing. It was too painful to stay in Inverness after everything that had happened, so as soon as I could, I moved myself back down south. Away from him. Away from everyone and every thing that reminded me of what happened.

“Claire, are you even listening to me?” Frank asked as he slammed his hand down on the chest of drawers at the bottom of our bed.

“Yes.” I sighed. “I’ve heard you ask the same damn question for two days now.”

“Then why won’t you answer me?”

“Because I don’t have an answer, Frank.

“She’s my mother, and she needs me. I have to go and be with her.” I told him as I continued to pack instead of look at my partner of three years.

“And I understand that darling, I really do. I admire you for doing what you’re doing. I only wish I could come with you.” Frank explained as he sat down on the bed next to my case. “I’m going to miss you is all.”

“I’ll miss you too, Frank. And I really do wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t. I’m sorry.” By this point I had stopped stuffing my things in to my case and moved slightly to my right to stand in between Frank’s legs. “I promise to call you every day and keep you informed.” I smiled softly at Frank before leaning down to peck his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Claire.”

The journey to Inverness wasn’t bad at all. I flew from London up to Edinburgh, and then hired a car to complete the journey up to Inverness. There was no direct flight from London to Inverness available for when I wanted to travel, so I decided this was the next best thing. Technically, I could have flown from Edinburgh to Inverness, but I thought the car journey might be a nice idea since I wasn’t sure what kind of stress was awaiting me at home.

Mum’s still in Raigmore, so there was no need for me to hurry home. As long as I was there for the following day, everything would be fine. I needed to be at Mum’s house to let social work in to asses the house so they could decide what all she needed to make her life that little more easier. The stroke had definitely affected her enough that she wouldn’t be able to return to her job as a nurse, but hopefully, with the right rehabilitation, she would still be able to live a somewhat independent life. Put it this way, she certainly isn’t fit enough to walk very far, but she thankfully isn’t at the stage where she needs to consider moving in to a care home. Social work are already putting a care plan in place which involves home carers coming to take care of Mum.

When I first learned of Mum’s stroke, I had considered abandoning everything in my life down south and just moving back home to take care of her myself, but I wasn’t sure if I would be able to cope with being back in Inverness permanently after all this time. I would do it for Mum though. Of course I would. It wouldn’t be easy, but I would do it. No question. I knew Mum would only disapprove though. She would try her damndest to send me back to London. Back to Frank. As much as I know Frank loves me, I’m more than certain that he wouldn’t want to leave his position as a history professor at Cambridge, to move all the way to Inverness so I can take care of Mum. I wouldn’t ask him to do that anyway. She’s my mum. My responsibility.

The first thing I did when I arrived home just after dinner time, was order some Chinese food from my favourite Chinese takeaway in Inverness. They said it would be ready in about twenty minutes, so I took the time to unload the car and send a quick text off to Frank, informing him that I arrived in Inverness safely, and I would call him tomorrow evening. It didn’t even take Frank two minutes to respond telling me he missed me already, and I was to pass on his love to Mum when I saw her the following day.

Twenty minutes later, I was sat on one of the brown and red waiting chairs in my favourite Chinese takeaways. Nothing had really changed in almost thirteen years. The decor was still the same. Plain magnolia walls with some Chinese paintings hung up on the walls. There was a bit of bother with the computer where all the orders were logged, but the young girl working on the desk assures me that my order won’t be long. I was a little shocked at the girl when I first saw her though, she can’t be much older than thirteen or fourteen. What is she doing working? 

There was a feel of familiarity about the girl, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on how I felt this pull towards her. It was... strange.

“What are ye daein’ lass?” A familiar voice shouted through from the back. “I told ye to sit yer arse doon there and behave yerself.”

“Mei-lee said there was a problem wi’ the computer. I was only tryin’ to help.” The young girl whined back.

“I dinna care. Ye canna be round this side of the desk.”

The girl rolled her eyes and scoffed before coming over to sit on one of the chairs opposite me. I picked up one of the menus lying around and decided to get myself lost in it, in the hopes that Willie wouldn’t notice me sat here. Luckily for me, he seemed to further himself away through the back.

“Brothers, eh?” The girl tutted as she rolled her eyes again and smiled over at me.

Brother?

I didn’t have time to sit and wonder on that too much, because the next thing, Mei-lee was coming out of the kitchen with my order of spring rolls, chicken fried rice with loads of curry sauce over top, and some prawn crackers. I thanked her very much, paid what I owed and made a quick exit before Willie could catch sight of me.

I was aware there would be a chance I could run in to his younger sister Jenny, but I was under the impression that Willie was still living in Paris after he moved over to France a few years ago. Fourteen years ago, to be exact. 

What was he doing back in Inverness? 

Working in a Chinese takeaway?

And since when did he have another sister? A teenage sister?

There was certainly no sign of Brian and Ellen having another child when I was last here. The young girl can’t be any older than eleven or twelve then. 

Christ, she would be round about the same age as my daughter. I wonder if they would have been friends?

Mum hadn’t mentioned Mr and Mrs Fraser having another child.

Strange.

Very strange.

I woke up at the crack of dawn. Bizarrely, I was able to have quite a good sleep on my old bed, in my old room. I was expecting to lay awake most of the night. Whether that be due to stress and worry over Mum, or a lumpy old mattress, but I seemed to have slept very well. Maybe the flight and the drive made me more tired than I originally thought. 

I got myself up, showered and dressed before sitting down to some toast for breakfast. Since Mum has been in hospital for a couple of weeks, and I didn’t really feel like doing much shopping when I arrived last night, I only grabbed some coffee, sugar, milk and bread from the petrol station down the road. 

Social work weren’t doing their visit until after lunch time, so that meant I had the morning to go and do a proper shop at the supermarket, and then head over to the hospital to see Mum. On the one hand, I was so desperate to see Mum, but on the other, I was scared as to what I would find. The fact that I’m a paediatrician down in London doesn’t make this any easier. She’s my Mum. She’s not meant to get sick. 

I think, if I wasn’t on my own, I would feel a lot better, braver. But I am on my own. 

I’m always on my damn own.


	3. Chapter Two

Jamie’s POV

“Damn it!”

“For gods sake, brother. What’s up now?” Jenny asked after she heard me slam Faith’s bedroom door shut.

“She’s gone. Again.” I spat.

“Look Jamie, she just needs some time. She’ll come around.”

“No, she’ll no.

“Jenny, I dinna ken what I’m supposed to do now. Ye’ll be gone this time tomorrow, and Will will be heading back to Paris next week. It’s just going to be the two of us, and I really dinna think she wants that.” I rubbed both my hands over my face before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. “She hates me, Jen.”

Jenny didna speak for a beat or two, and I feared she agreed wi’ me, but then she sat down beside me and gently squeezed my shoulder. “She loves ye, Jamie. She’s just... grieving. We all are.”

The death of our mother was verra unexpected. Aye, she had lung cancer, but we expected to have her around for at least another five or six months. In the end, she was gone within six weeks of her diagnosis. Our Da had passed away four years ago of a heart attack, so now that just leaves the four of us. Me and my siblings. Or, should I say me, my two siblings and my secret daughter.

When my parents first sat me and Claire down wi’ Mr and Mrs Beauchamp thirteen years ago to try and persuade us in to giving our child up for adoption, I couldna believe they could suggest such a thing. This was a child. Mine and Claire’s child. Their first grandchild. How could they possibly thing that giving our child away would be for the best? Claire and I had argued wi’ them for months over it. But as time went on, I let both Claire’s parents and my own get inside my head. They made me believe that it was what was best for our child. They said that the child deserved to be raised by two parents that could take care of the child properly, and not struggle in between trying to build a future. By the time Claire was six months pregnant, I honestly thought it was for the best. It was what everyone had said, and I believed them. There was no way on this earth that Claire would have been able to go on and become a surgeon if we had our child to take care of. 

My dreams werna as big as Claire’s, but I was realistic enough to realise that there was no way we would have been able to care for our child. I had only just turned eighteen, and Claire... well, she was yet to turn eighteen. I honestly thought it was for the best. It killed me though. I tried not to let it show too much. I needed to be strong. For Claire. She was falling apart the closer and closer she got to the birth. She needed me to be her rock. I thought I was, but all I did was push her away.

She hated me.

That was the verra last thing she said to me. Almost thirteen years ago, two days after the birth of our daughter, Faith, Claire told me she hated me and said she would never forgive me for any of this. I couldna blame her. I couldna forgive myself. I still canna.

After Claire had gone, I was a shell of a lad. Didna speak. Didna eat. I was miserable.

Just under a year later, before my daughter celebrated her first birthday, my parents had somehow learned that my baby girl hadn’t actually been adopted. She was placed in the foster care system. I was furious. Both Claire and I were told that there was a couple ready to take our daughter and provide her with a safe and loving home. That all fell through though.

Since birth, my wee lass had shown some respiratory issues and spent a lot of her first few months on this earth in and out of hospital. When the lass was born, no one had mentioned anything about respiratory issues to either Claire or I. I supposed that was all down to the fact that we were handing over our parental rights to complete strangers. When I learned what my wee lass had been suffering through, it made me die a little more. She was my daughter, and I was her father. It was my duty to protect her. Keep her safe. But I didna. I abandoned her when she needed me most. 

When my parents suggested they bring her home, I kent it was for the best. She would bring purpose back in to my life again. I was certain that getting our daughter back was key to getting Claire back as well. 

God. How wrong was I?

Once I knew for sure that Faith was coming home, to where she belonged, I started to put a plan in order for her and I to get her mother back in our lives as well. I knew Claire was studying down in London, and I didna want her to give up her dream of becoming a surgeon. I decided the only thing to be done, was for Faith and I to move down to London. 

My older cousin Rupert was living down in London as well. He was more than happy to agree to Faith and I moving in to his house with him and his girlfriend for a while, until I managed to get something proper for Claire, Faith and I. Rupert had even managed to help me find a job, and his girlfriend was keen to take care of Faith when I was at work and Claire was at uni. She was a child minder anyway, but she knew how expensive living in London was, so she was more than happy to watch Faith as a favour. Things were falling into place perfectly. I was certain Claire would come back to me. Back to us.

But when I learned that my parents weren’t bringing my daughter home to me, but for themselves to raise as their own child... I was heartbroken all over again. They argued that there was no way I would be able to raise my daughter in the way she needed. They said that I had definitely proved over the past few months that I wasn’t mature enough to be a father.

I started to believe them because it was true. 

Losing both Claire and our baby girl absolutely destroyed me. I could barely look after myself, never mind a baby. 

As much as I wanted to go on to London anyway and try and win Claire back, I couldna. I kent she would never forgive me for the choice I made. I kent she would resent me all the more if she learned that my parents were the ones to officially adopt our daughter.

I had to stand off to the side and watch as my daughter grew up to call my parents Ma and Da. It was devastating. But I did it because my parents assured me it was for the best. Even Mr and Mrs Beauchamp had agreed.

It was beyond difficult. Over the years, my parents had tried to urge me to move out and build a life for myself, but as couldna. I refused. As hard as it was to live in the same house as my daughter and have her think of me as her older brother, I couldna face the thought of leaving home. Leaving her. 

Due to the fact my older brother Will was living over in Paris and only returned once a year for Christmas, and Jenny had moved down to the central belt, Faith and I were quite close. She wasna just my secret daughter. Or my wee sister, she was my best friend. 

But now, both my parents are gone. And now the truth is out. Faith now knows that I am not her older brother. And now she can’t stand to look at me, never mind be in the same house as me.

My mother left all four of her children letters to be opened after she passed away. In the letter she left me, she apologised deeply for taking Faith from me. She said it was one of her biggest regrets. What I didn’t know, was in her letter to Faith, she had spilled out the truth to the lass. Informing her that she was in fact her Granny, and I was her true father. Now my daughter hates me. Does everything she can to stay out of my way.

She’ll be turning thirteen soon. And since she’s a minor, Ma had decided to give me back my daughter. I’m now Faith’s legal guardian until she turns sixteen. Something I ken she really isna happy wi’.

Jenny and I were stood in the kitchen when we heard the front door slam closed. I put down my mug of coffee and stormed through to find Faith stomping up the stairs to her bedroom.

“Where the hell have ye been, lass? Ye’ve had me worried sick a leannan!” I tried my best to keep my voice calm and under control, but the more the lass pushed me away, the more frustrated I’ve become. 

She didna answer. All I got when I went after her was her bedroom door slammed right in my face.

I kept knocking on her door until she eventually opened. “Where were ye lass?” I asked her again. 

“At the Chinese.” She mumbled. “Willie was helping Angus wi’ deliveries. I just went to see them and hoped to tag along wi’ Will, but he made me stay behind until he finished. I wanted to stay at the hotel wi’ Will, but he said no. So, here I am.” She shrugged.

“Ye could have text me or somethin’ lass. I mean it when I said I was worried.”

“I couldna text ye, cause ye took my phone away, remember?” I did remember. I took it off her the day before because of her ridiculous attitude and temper tantrums. “And I’m a teenager, ye dinna need to fash about me.” Faith went to close the door again, but I reached my hand out to stop her.

“Look, Faith... I ken this is hard for ye. It’s hard for me too. This is gonna take us both some time to adjust, but we will get there. I promise.”

“I dinna want to stay here wi you!” She cried before taking a deep breath to centre herself.  
“I want to go and stay wi’ Will.” She mumbled again.

“Not happenin’.” I told her firmly.

“Ye canna stop me!” She shot back at me.

“I am yer father, Faith. Ye’re stayin’ here wi’ me.”

It was the first time I had actually said those words to her. “I am yer father.” I had told her that many times when she was just a wee bairn. When no one else was around. She was too young to understand. But now she was old enough to know the truth, and she hated me for it.

She didna say another word. She just jutted out her chin and glared at me before slamming her bedroom door shut.

In that moment, she looked exactly like her mother.

Exactly like Claire.

I’ve already lost Claire. I’ll be damned if I lose our daughter too. 

I lost her once, I refuse to go through the pain of that again.

“How is she?” Jenny asked when I returned downstairs. Since the truth came out, both my siblings have been doing their best to give Faith and I some space to try and work things out, but it doesna seem to be working. 

Faith and Jenny have always been complete opposites, and enjoy butting heads. It seemed to be Will that Faith turned to when she needed away from me. Nine times out of ten he would direct her back home and urge her to speak wi’ me. She never really did though. She just hides away in her room and mostly refuses to come out if I ask her to.

“Honestly? I dinna ken.” I sighed as I sat back down at the kitchen table and finished what was left of my coffee. “She keeps bangin’ on about wanting to stay wi’ Willie at the hotel. Thankfully, he keeps refusing and brings her back home.”

“She will come round, Jamie. Ye just need to give her time.

“But, if it doesna seem to be getting any better, ye can always send her down to us for a weekend or so. A weekend under my roof, and she’ll be beggin’ to come home to ye.” Jenny grinned at me. 

I kent she was right. Jenny never really treated Faith like her younger sister after she started to have kids of her own. I think it was because her eldest two are only a couple of years younger than Faith. Whenever Faith went to stay wi’ Jenny and her husband Ian and the family, Jenny always put Faith to work wi’ chores just like her own children. Faith’s as stubborn as they come, and she doesna like bein’ told what to do. Dinna get me wrong, she’s always happy to muck in and get things done around the house, she just prefers using her own initiative to do things, rather than have orders barked at her. 

“I hate to say it Jen, but I’m so angry wi’ Ma right now.” I curled my hands in to fists on top of the table. Jenny reached over to try and unclench my fists as she gave me a sad smile. “I loved her Jen, but I let her make me believe I wasna good enough to be a father. I stood back and let her and Da raise my daughter like it was normal. 

“I stood back like a pathetic coward and let them make my wee lass believe she was only my sister. I tried and tried and tried again over the years to get them to let me tell her the truth, but they wouldna let me. I dinna understand what the hell Ma was thinkin’ leavin’ the lass a letter like that when she kent she wouldna be here to answer her questions. She’s left it to all fall on me and I dinna have a clue what to do, Jen.

“I just fear I’m gonna wake up one mornin’ and find my wee lass has just disappeared.”

“That wilna happen, Jamie. The lass loves ye more than anythin’. She idolises ye. There’s no way she’s just gonna leave ye. She needs ye. Ye just need to try and find a way to get through to her.”

“But I canna, Jen. That’s the problem. Every time I try and talk to her, she storms off. Thankfully I ken she’s runnin’ to Will the now, but what happens when he leaves next week, eh? She’s gonna leave me. I just ken it.” I say sadly.

“She’s no just gonna up and leave ye, brother.” Jenny patted my hand as she let out a sigh, obviously getting just as frustrated about the situation between Faith and I as me.

“Why no? This past week she’s done nothin’ but try and disappear on me. 

“And let’s face it, that’s exactly what her mother did. Just upped and left wi’out a word.”


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... thank you all so much for taking the time to read this. I’m glad so many of you are enjoying it. I apologise for not getting round to responding to all your comments, but there’s just so many coming through from different chapters, and the same on some of my other fics too.
> 
> I don’t have a set schedule for this fic, and I really hope I’m not posting it too quickly and annoying you all. I am trying to space it out a wee bit, but once a chapter is edited, I find it better to get it posted so I can move on and edit something else.
> 
> Thanks again for all the support and I hope you’ll enjoy what’s to come. There will definitely be some fireworks... soon.
> 
> Kirsty X

Chapter Three

Claire’s POV

When I went to the hospital to visit Mum, she was sound asleep. The nurse had mentioned that she had a very unsettled night last night, so I didn’t want to wake her. I waited for an hour. Sat by her bedside and flicked through one of her books after I sorted out her little locker. Mrs Henderson who lives next door to Mum is also a nurse here at the hospital. She and Mum have been really good friends ever since we moved to Inverness. Mrs Henderson has very kindly been keeping me up to date with everything going on with Mum since I wasn’t able to come any earlier. 

Mrs Henderson has also been doing Mum’s washing for her and bringing her everything she needs. It’s been a huge weight off my mind, knowing Mum has such amazing support around her. It also makes me feel a little guilty though, about not being here sooner. But I’m here now, and there is no way I’m leaving again until I know Mum will be alright without me. I’ll also be making much more of an effort to come and visit her at home now. 

Ever since I left Inverness, it was always Mum and Dad coming down to London to visit me. I just couldn’t face coming back here. Even though it’s home, it just never seemed right for me to come back. My parents never minded though. I think they were just happy that I was moving on with my life. I was a little lonely sometimes, but I made a promise to myself to make something of my life. I didn’t want to look back on my life in fifty years time and find I gave away my daughter for nothing, even if I knew in my heart that it was true.

The man from social work couldn’t have been in the house for much longer than twenty minutes. I know they have a busy workload and things, but it just didn’t seem like he spent as much time assessing the house as he should have. In the end, he decided that Mum would need a rail put up at the front step to help aid her. I agreed, but suggested a rail on each side. He refused though. He also decided that a bath seat was needed, but I said the bath is no good, period. He then reluctantly agreed that it should be ripped out so a disabled shower could be put in it’s place. I completely agreed because I knew that there was no way Mum would have the strength to get herself in and out of the bath on her own. Even with the aid of the bath seat. There were some other things that the man suggested to make things easier for Mum, but I couldn’t help but think that she needed just a little bit more. Everything needs to be done as soon as possible because they won’t allow Mum to be discharged from the hospital until the house is suitable for her and her needs. 

As soon as the man from social work left, I called Frank. I knew he was only working a half day, so he would be able to take my call. 

“...And you think your Mum will need more than what he’s suggested?”

“Well, yes.” I answered him. “I know I haven’t actually seen what Mum can physically do for herself, but I just have this feeling inside me that she’ll need more than he suggested. Especially if I’m not going to be here, Frank. I need to make sure the house is definitely suitable and accessible for her.”

“I completely agree, darling.” Frank answered. I could hear him thinking through the phone. I was starting to worry that he would think I was going to stay a lot longer, and he would be disappointed, but his next suggestion just blew me away. Something I had never even thought about, and it made me realise just how lucky I am to have Frank in my life. Always supporting me and loving me through everything. “So... why don’t we use some of the money from our joint savings account? That way we can do the house exactly the way you want it. And let’s be honest, there is no way in hell your mother is going to allow anyone to rip that bath out.” Frank chuckled.

He was right. Mum loves her baths more than anything. The sad reality of the situation now was that she wouldn’t be able to have her nightly baths anymore. “We need to get rid of the bath, Frank.” I sighed.

“No we don’t. We can keep the bathroom as it is just now, but since we’ll need to turn your mothers dining room in to her new bedroom anyway, there is plenty of room to turn a corner in to a little en-suite. A wet room, perhaps?” Frank suggested.

I could just see it. It wasn't a bad idea at all. It meant that Mum could still have the odd bath when I came to visit. I could help her in and out no problem. It was the cost of this idea that made me shudder though. “That’s going to cost way too much though, Frank.”

“We can afford it, darling. Anyway, if this is all things your mother needs, we can’t just avoid it, can we?”

“I just... I don’t feel comfortable using our money for this. I can’t ask you to do this.”

“You’re not asking me, Claire. I’m telling you this is what we’re going to do.

“Sit down with Julia and discuss it all with her and find out what she feels she needs to make her life easier at home. Send me a plan of the dining room if you can, and I’ll get someone to start designing something practical for Julia.”

“You’re too sweet, do you know that?” I told him as I smiled down the phone.

“It’s why you love me.” Frank laughed.

“It is.” I answered truthfully.

Frank and I met at a fundraiser for the hospital around five years ago. We hit things off quite well and became good friends. Then one evening when we were out for dinner, Frank told me that he was starting to see me differently. His feeling for me were growing. I was honestly taken aback a little. I was embarrassed to admit that I hadn’t really thought about him, or anyone else for that matter, in that kind of way. 

Frank knew of my past with Jamie, and what had happened between us. But until that night, I hadn’t told him that I hadn’t actually been with another man since Jamie. To this day, I still don’t know if that was intentional or not, but I just hadn’t been with anyone else. Frank was supportive, and assured me I didn’t need to do anything I didn’t want to do. But, after his confession about his growing feelings for me, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. About him. A month later, I agreed to let Frank take me out on our first official date. Three years later, and we’re still together. Happy. I’m happier than I ever thought I could be. Happier than I ever thought I deserved to be.

When I returned to see Mum later in the afternoon, she was sitting up on her bed, wide awake, reading her book.

“Hello Mum.” I greeted her with a smile before moving over to her bedside to give her a gentle hug.

“Good afternoon, sweetheart. It’s so good to see you.” She told me before dropping her arms from my back.

I pulled away and sat down on the chair next to her and took a hold of her hand in mine. “How are you feeling Mum?” I was trying my best to keep my tears from falling. She looked so small and vulnerable in the bed. Since her stay in hospital, I have been calling her at least once a day. Her speech has certainly improved a lot over the last few days, but some of her words were still a bit slurred. Only to be expected though. Mum’s only fifty four, so she’s still quite young to have suffered such a thing as a stroke. She’s one of the healthiest and fittest people I know as well. It’s just been such a shock.

“The nurse told me you came by this morning. Sorry I missed you sweetheart.” 

I could tell Mum was getting tired again, so I decided to inform her of what happened at the house with social work, and then told her about Frank’s suggestion about how we could sort the house ourselves instead. Mum was grateful that Frank had offered such a generous gift, but she kindly declined and said she will just take what she can get from social work. 

“I’ve worked every damn day since I was sixteen years old. Been in this job since I was twenty years old. I’ll take all I can get.” She answered me, and I couldn’t argue. I decided to do as she wished, but if there was something she desperately needed that the Social wouldn’t provide, Frank and I would see to it that she got it.

I spent a good two hours with Mum before she started to fall asleep again. I kissed her Goodnight before leaving her to rest, and promising to come and see her first thing in the morning.

As I was leaving Mum’s room, I saw the young girl from the Chinese takeaway walking towards me, her eyes were all swollen and red. She’d obviously been crying. 

“Excuse me, please.” She murmured to me as she tried to get past me to get in to Mum’s room.

“I’m sorry, are you here to see Julia Beauchamp?” I asked her.

“Aye.” She answered quietly.

“Well, she’s asleep just now. Would you mind coming back another day?” I asked her softly. She nodded her head and turned to walk away. I could see her lift her arm up to wipe away more tears. I ran after her and caught up with her at the lift. “Are you alright, sweetheart?” I asked her as we waited on the lift.

“No really, no.” She sobbed.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I need to talk to someone, that’s why I wanted to see Julia. You’re a stranger though. I canna really unload all my problems on to you.” 

“Well, my names Claire.” I held my hand out to her for her to shake. “I’m Julia’s daughter.” I told her.

The young girl looked up at me in surprise. “Ye came back from London?”

“Well, yes. Mum needs me. I had to come back.” I said before the lift doors opened and we both stepped in. “How well do you know my Mum?” I knew the girl referred to Willie as her brother last night, and I could see some Fraser family resemblance in the girl, but I just didn’t understand how or when Brian and Ellen had another child, and why Mum never mentioned it. Or Jenny for that matter. 

This girl obviously knows Mum quite well. Which would make a lot of sense since Mum and Ellen are really good friends. I know that friendship didn’t end after I left.

“Your Mum’s really good friends wi’ mine. Well... was.”

“What do you mean was?” I asked.

The girl let out a sigh and then tapped her finger against her thigh. A trait her brother Jamie has when he gets nervous or anxious over something. “My mother died just over a week ago.”

“I-I’m so sorry...”

“Faith. My names Faith.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Faith. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank ye.”

The journey on the lift from the third floor to the ground was very quiet. Neither of us spoke. I didn’t know what to say to the girl. After all these years, I still hold quite a lot of resentment towards her brother and their parents, but that doesn’t mean to say I’m not troubled by the fact this young girl has just lost her mother. Especially when she seems so deeply affected by it. Just as I’m sure I would be if I was in her shoes.

When we reached the main door of the hospital, Faith turned to head towards the smaller car park. 

“Is there someone here waiting for you?” I called after her.

“Nope. My sis... Jenny went back home to Glasgow this afternoon. Will is probably out helping Angus wi’ the deliveries again.”

“What about...” I had to take a deep breath. “What about Jamie?” I asked her. I haven’t said the man’s name out loud in almost thirteen years. Not even to Frank. 

Faith didn’t answer. She just kicked her foot over some gravel before turning to walk away again.

“Where are you going?” I asked her as I went after her.

“Dinna ken. Just... away.”

I don’t know this girl from Adam, but there is just this familiarity about her. I guess it’s because she’s Jamie’s sister, I suppose. But I have this pull towards her. She’s so lost and fragile, I needed to make sure she was alright.

“Well, I was just about to head on over to Miller’s for some ice cream. Fancy joining me?” I asked. She didn’t look too sure, but eventually she shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head. “Come on then.” I nodded in the direction of my car.

Jamie’s POV

I swear that lass will be the death of me.

As soon as Jenny had left to go back home this afternoon, Willie had gone out to see a couple of his pals before agreeing to help Angus wi’ some deliveries again tonight. I ken he was only stayin’ away so much to try and force Faith to spend some time wi’ me, but it didna work. Every time Willie went out the door, she was gone less than half an hour later. I returned her phone to her this mornin’ so that when she did yet another disappearing act, like I kent she would, I would at least be able to call her. Seemed like a good idea in theory. Problem was, she had turned her phone off.

Thankfully, some of our friends and neighbours were aware of the problems I was having wi’ Faith lately. Although, they put her acting out, tantrums and disappearing spells down to her grieving. The only people who know about Faith actually being my daughter, and not my sister, are my immediate family, and Julia Beauchamp. It’s no secret that Faith was adopted by my parents, but no one knows the real connection. Anyway, people have been really good at keeping an eye out on the lass, and if they see her, they’re good enough to send either Willie or I a wee message to say where she is.

Right now, she’s sitting in Miller’s knocking in to a large ice cream sundae.

I havena set foot in Miller’s since the last time I took Faith. That was about a year or so ago. It was one of Claire and I’s favourite hideouts away from everyone else. We used to spend at least an hour there every day. Longer on the weekends. It got to the stage where Mrs Miller used to give us a discount since we spent so much time there.

I found it difficult to return after Claire had gone. I think I’ve only set foot in the place a dozen or so times over the last thirteen years. Always with Faith. Whenever she wanted to hang out with me and kick a football about or play some shinty wi’ some of her pals, I wanted to end the day doing something that would somehow include Claire. That’s where Miller’s came in. Faith loved it. Her favourite was always the triple chocolate sundae wi’ marshmallows, nuts and toffee bites. It was always Claire’s favourite too.

It’s been difficult these last thirteen years wi’out Claire, but having Faith wi’ me all these years, made it just that wee bit more bearable. I only wish that they could have the chance to get to know each other. Form the relationship they should have always had. 

If I was to bring up Claire to Faith, I dinna think she would cope. She’s already strugglin’ so much wi’ the fact I’m her father. How would she react if I was to tell her that her mother is a doctor living down in London? And if I was to tell her that it was all down to me that her mother never got the chance to raise her, she would hate me even more than she already does. I suppose there is a small blessing in all of this. Claire is happily livin’ her life away down south. There is no fear of Faith finding out about her and turning on her as well.

Claire’s poor mother suffered a stroke a few weeks ago. Jenny had been to the hospital to visit her when she was here for Ma’s funeral. Julia told Jenny that Claire was busy wi’ her work, and wouldn’t be coming back. That didna sound like the Claire I once knew, but I suppose people change. I ken she has an alright relationship with her mother, but it’s still strained a bit due to the whole adoption situation. I still thought that Claire would have come home to at least see her mother though. Especially at a time like this.

I also ken that Faith has been visiting wi’ Julia at the hospital. She’s been well warned no to ask the woman anythin’ about the adoption because she’s poorly and needs to heal properly. Julia was a good friend of my mothers, and I have a feelin’ that Faith goes to visit her to try and feel closer to my mother in some way. Faith doesn’t know that Julia is actually her other grandmother, but I’m certain that Julia wouldn’t let it slip out, even if Faith was to ask her if she knew anythin’.

Julia dotes on Faith. Always has. I can tell that she really does regret the fact she can’t openly be a grandmother to the lass, but Julia made her decision thirteen years ago, just like the rest of us did. We all have to live wi’ those decisions, and now we need to try to deal wi’ the aftermath of my mother admitting the truth to Faith in that damn letter she left her.

When I walked through the door of Miller’s, the wee bell rang above my head to announce to the staff and other customers of my arrival. Everyone seemed to turn their heads to see who was walking through the door. Everyone, except Faith. 

I could just about see her sitting in mine and Claire’s usual booth. The one I used to sit in wi’ Faith when I brought her here. I could make out the top of her head, and as I stepped closer, I saw the familiar long brown curls spiralling down the side of her face. When she sensed me stood beside her, she turned to look up at me. I could tell she had been crying. Her wee golden whisky eyes that reminded me so much of her mother, were all red and puffy. Just like Claire’s were the last time I saw her. It broke my heart to see my wee lass like this.

“Can I join ye?” I asked her softly.

“I already have company. I’ll be home when I’m home.” She mumbled before taking another spoonful of her sundae.

“That’s no good enough, Faith. Ye’re clearly upset and I want to help ye. Ye canna keep bottling all yer wee feelings up and pushing me away like this, a leannan. It’ll no do either of us any good.” I tried to reason wi’ her, but it was no use. She just ignored me.

I then did something I never thought I could do. I grabbed her wee arm and dragged her to stand up. 

“Get off me, Jamie!” Faith snapped as she pulled her arm away. Luckily, we didna draw too much attention to ourselves. Faith sat back down in the booth when she pulled out of my grip. I grabbed her wee arm again and pulled her back up.

“We’re goin’ home, Faith. Now!” I told her firmly. “We need to talk about this. Ye canna avoid me forever.”

“Watch me.” She challenged. 

I honestly had no choice, I kept a good grip of her arm and pulled her out of the Ice Cream café, and took her straight to my car, which was parked in the car park just over the road.

“Let go of me Jamie. Ye canna fix this. I’m goin’ wi’ Willie to France whether the pair of ye’s like it or no.” Faith cried as I pulled open the passenger side door. 

“You are my daughter, Faith! Ye’re no goin’ anywhere.”

“Sh-she’s what?”

The familiar English accent coming from behind me made me completely freeze. Faith yanked her arm out of my grip again and moved away from me to stand next to the person behind me. 

“Ignore him.” Faith said to the woman. “He’s confused. Aren’t ye?”

I slowly turned myself around, and I couldna believe the sight before me. The two most important girls in my world, were standin’ right next to one another. Two sets of golden amber eyes staring right back at me.

“J-Jamie?” Claire asked me before turning her head to take a proper look at Faith.

“Ugh!” Faith screamed. “I thought this was meant to be some sort of secret. Now ye’ve just shouted out for the whole city to hear.” Faith groaned. She then turned to Claire to explain. “Look, I always kent I was adopted. I just... didna ken it was my actual grandparents that adopted me and raised me as their’s. Only found out after Ma,” Faith rubbed both her hands down her face in frustration before continuing. “Sorry... Ellen, passed away, that my brother Jamie here is actually my father. Hence the reason why I want to go and live wi’ Willie in France.”

“Claire, I can explain.” I could tell from the tears springing to her eyes that she was upset, but happy. She smiled as she looked at our almost teenage daughter, a sight that warmed my heart. It didna last long though, because she turned her head back to me in anger. “Claire, can we go somewhere and talk, Please?”

She ignored me and turned back to Faith. “Did... did they mention who your mother was?” Claire asked Faith.

“Nope. One of the reasons I went to see yer Mam the night. I was kinda hoping that maybe she would have some idea. I ken she’s still healing, but I think I have a right to ken who my mother is, don’t you?”

“I completely agree.” Claire whispered before turning to me. “So?”

“So... what?” I asked her stupidly.

“So... did you knock up another young woman after I left and let your parents adopt the child after she was born, or is young Faith here our daughter?” Claire’s words were cold. I could feel the hatred directed at me in every word she spoke. 

I could see Faith start to back away slowly from the corner of my eye. “Don’t even think about runnin’ off again, lass.” I warned her.

“Then answer my damn question Jamie!” Claire shot at me in anger. 

I could hear Faith start to cry a little as she tried to hide her sniffles. All I wanted to do was pull her in to my arms and hold her and tell her I loved her and everythin’ was gonna be alright. But I couldn’t. I was already on the verge of losing my daughter forever. I didna want to reach out to her for her to push me even further away. 

“Aye.” I sighed. “Faith is our daughter, Sassenach.”

Claire turned to Faith straight away and reached out to pull our daughter in to her arms, but Faith took another step back. “Dinna.” She whispered. “Ye didna want me back then. Ye have no right to suddenly act like ye care now.” Faith said quietly. 

“I promise you sweetheart, it wasn’t like that.” Claire tried to tell her, but Faith just shook her head. 

“I dinna really care what it was like. All that it really comes down to was ye gave me away and I have been lied to my entire life.”

“It really wasna like that a leannan. Please, now yer mothers here, will ye just let us explain to ye what actually happened?” 

“I asked ye for answers, Jamie. When I first opened that letter from Ellen. Ye went all quiet and didna speak for a whole day. I begged ye to tell me what actually happened, but ye point blank refused. It’s too late now. What respect I had for ye is no longer there. 

“Ye lied to me, Jamie. Then ye ignored me. So... forgive me if I’m no in the mood to suddenly start callin’ ye both Ma and Da and play happy families. As far as I’m concerned, both my parents are dead. And don’t be mistaken, I’m equally annoyed wi’ them too.”

Claire began to slowly edge towards Faith. “Faith, will you at least speak with me? Please. I had no idea that it was Brian any Ellen who adopted you. I would never have let it go ahead if I had known.” Claire cried out to Faith.

“So, ye woulda just let me grow up in foster care then?” Faith asked angrily.

“What? Of course not. Faith, I never wanted to give you up in the first place. You have to believe me.” Claire tried to get closer to Faith again, but the lass was havin’ none of it.

“Believe ye? Ye’re a stranger. Ye gave me away like I meant nothin’ to ye. Why should I give ye the time of day? Either of ye?”

Before Claire or I could try sayin’ anythin’ else, Faith whipped her phone out from her pocket and started to call someone. 

Willie.

She explained to him that she was wi’ Claire and I, but she didna want to be around either of us anymore. I couldna hear Willie’s side of the conversation, but it was clear he was shocked Claire was in town. It was also clear that my brother was on his way to come and collect Faith.

“If ye want to make this up to me Jamie, ye can sign the guardianship over to Will and let me go to France wi’ him.” Faith suggested as she hung up the phone and stuck it back in to her pocket.

“I canna do that lass. I wilna do that.” I told her.

“Why no though?”

“Why France? Why are ye so keen to go wi’ Willie? Ye’ve never once mentioned goin’ wi’ Jenny.”

“BECAUSE GLASGOW IS TOO CLOSE!” She screamed at me. She paused for a second and let out a deep sigh before sliding her hands in to the back pockets of her jeans as she rocked back and fourth on her heels. “Paris would be a safe enough distance between us. I just... I canna be around ye.”

If my heart was already broken by my daughters resentment and anger towards me, it was well and truly shattered now.


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... Thanks again for all the wonderful comments on this fic. It really means a lot. 
> 
> I actually started editing this chapter days ago, but it was sitting at over 10,000 words and I just needed to take a break from reading over it haha. Came back to it today and reduced it by a few thousand, but it’s still a pretty big chapter.
> 
> Thanks again for taking the time to read, and I hope you’ll all enjoy.
> 
> Kirsty X

.  
Chapter Four

Claire’s POV

When I came back out to the dining area of Millers from the restroom, I never in my wildest dreams thought the first thing so would see would be Jamie practically dragging his younger sister out of the café by her wrist. He seemed to have a very firm grip on her and refused to let her go. I went after them both to confront him and ask him what the hell he was playing at. I did try calling on him, but neither Jamie nor Faith could hear me from across the street. 

When I crossed over the busy main road and approached them, they were arguing as he tried to get her in to the car. Before I could shout at him to let her go when I finally reached them both, I heard Jamie say something that made my blood run cold. 

When I heard Jamie Fraser say he was Faith’s father, you could have knocked me down with a feather. 

Brian and Ellen Fraser honestly had the cheek to stand there and talk me in to giving up the rights to my own child, only for them to adopt her as their own daughter? And Jamie just let that happen? I thought I couldn’t hate the man any more for what he talked me in to doing all them years ago. 

Now I’m stood here, in the middle of a car park in Inverness, and my long lost daughter is stood right in front of me, and she hates me. Not that I blame her. I will never be able to forgive myself for allowing Jamie and our parents to talk me in to handing over my baby girl. They assured me it was so she could have a better life. So we would all have a better life. I may have been able to follow my dream career wise, but I would have gladly given up my career if it meant I had my daughter. If it meant I was able to watch her grow up. But I was robbed of that. By the people I trusted more than anything. 

There is no doubt in my mind that my parents knew exactly what the Fraser’s had planned. Unfortunately, I wasn’t prepared to risk my mothers recovery by asking her what exactly happened after I left Inverness. The mountains of questions I have for Mum will be asked, just not at the moment. 

In the meantime, I have plenty questions for James bloody Fraser. 

How the hell could he do that to me?

He robbed me of almost thirteen years of my daughters life. And now I’ve finally found her, she’s talking about running off to live with Jamie’s brother Willie in Paris because she can’t stand the sight of Jamie.

It’s clear these two need to sit down and talk properly, but I don’t think I want them to discuss any of this without me. I have just as much right as Faith to know what exactly happened and why. Faith needs to know and understand that there is no way on this earth that I gave her up willingly. Yes, I agreed in the end with everyone else, but that was only because I felt backed in to a corner. I could see Jamie and I raising our daughter together, but I couldn’t see me raising her on my own. When Jamie said he agreed with our parents, I was devastated. I couldn’t wrap my head around why he was suddenly alright with this decision. As soon as he made that decision, that was the end of us. I couldn’t stand the sight of him.

I have to find a way to get Faith to speak with me about all of this. Since Willie has just arrived to collect her, I doubt it will be tonight.

“Faith, please.” I beg her as my tears just keep streaming from my eyes. “Please just give me a chance to explain.”

“Ye’ve all had thirteen years to tell me the truth and ye’s havena. No point in starting now.” Faith answers before jumping in to the passenger side of Willie’s car.

“Ye both just need to give her some time. I’ll bring her home tomorrow mornin’ Jamie. Maybe the night of space will do ye both some good.” Willie suggests.

“We’ve had nothin’ but space since she read that damn letter, Will.” Jamie’s growing more and more frustrated and I have no clue what to say to him. I can understand his frustration, but I am just as angry at him as our daughter is.

“I’ll try speakin’ to her tonight.” Willie says gently before turning to head back to his side of his car.

Jamie slams a hand down on the roof of his car really hard before turning back to his older brother. “Ye werena here, Will. You were over in France when all this happened. Ye canna give her the answers she needs.” 

Willie doesn’t answer, he just gives Jamie and I a sad smile before jumping in to the car and driving off with our daughter. I watch Willie drive off until I lose sight of the car in the distance.

I turn my attention back to Jamie who begins to make his way to jump in to his drivers seat. “Oh no you don’t.” I tell him. “It isn’t just our daughter who needs answers from you. I need some too. I think I’m entitled to know exactly why you got to see my daughter grow up but I didn’t. Don’t you?”

“Not tonight, Claire.”

“Yes, tonight. 

“You’ve kept my daughter from me for almost thirteen years, Jamie. I deserve to know why.”

Jamie stays silent for a while as he clenches his jaw and taps his index finger against his thigh, just like I watched Faith do a little over an hour ago at the hospital.

“Fine.” He bites out. “I’m still at the same address.” Is all he says before he climbing in to his car and driving off, leaving me stood alone in the dark car park.

This is not what I expected when I returned home. How could everyone do this to me? Do this to my daughter? 

Before I drive over to Jamie’s place, I decide to give Frank a call from the car. I would much rather have this conversation with him face to face, but that just isn’t possible at the moment. I could face time him I suppose, but I don’t think I have the energy for that. I just need to speak to someone about all of this, and right now, Frank is the only person I can trust right now.

“I’m sorry darling, I don’t think I quite understand what you’re saying.” Frank says after I break the news about my long lost daughter being raised by the Fraser’s all these years, and no one bothered to tell me.

“Well, I don’t exactly understand it all myself, to be honest.” I sigh. “She’s taken off with her unc... um, her broth... she went off with Jamie’s brother. I’m about to go round and see him now and hopefully get some answers.” I explain to Frank.

“Christ. This is all you need right now.

“Do you think your mother knew that the girl was with them all this time?” Frank asks me.

“Of course she bloody knew. Seems to me that the only people to be kept in the dark about this little arrangement was me and my daughter!” I snap. Not at Frank, just the situation.

“Are you going to ask your mother? Do you think she would be able to give you the answers you need?”

“I’m pretty sure she knows everything. Faith had said that she knows Mum quite well because of her friendship with Ellen. That’s...Jamie’s Mum.”

“Ah.”

“I honestly don’t think she’s strong enough for me to speak to her about all this yet. That makes me even more frustrated. That’s why I need to speak with Jamie. He’s the only one who can answer my questions and tell me exactly what happened almost thirteen years ago.”

After hanging up the phone with Frank, I take a few deep breaths before driving over to Jamie’s place. It’s pretty dark outside, even for spring time, but with the small outdoor lights leading up the pathway to the front door, I can see that not much has changed to Ellen’s front garden over the last thirteen years. Nice little bench sat under the kitchen window. A nice, even circular patch of grass surrounded by some beautiful flowers. Now that Ellen’s gone, I imagine it won’t be too long until the garden just rots away. Jamie was never really in to gardening. Then again, things might have changed since I last knew him. 

I suppose I never really knew the man at all come to think of it.

When I reach the front door, I take another deep breath before ringing the door bell. To my surprise, it’s Faith who opens the door to me, not Jamie.

“Hello.” I say with a bright smile on my face due to the unexpected surprise to find Faith here. She doesn’t answer me though. “I thought you were going with Willie tonight?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “He brought me hame to grab some things, but when Jamie said ye were coming over for some answers, Will decided it was best for me to stay here too.” She keeps her eyes focused on the ground. The poor girl has barely looked me in the eye since she discovered I’m actually her mother. 

Faith eventually steps aside and invites me in to the house I used to think of as my second home. I spent just as much time here as I did at my own home with my own family during the time Jamie and I were together.

She leads me down the hallway and through to the conservatory out the back of the house. “He’s on the phone to Jenny, but he’ll no be long. I can get ye a drink or somethin’ while ye wait if ye want?”

“A glass of water would be perfect, sweetheart. If you don’t mind?” I answer her carefully. I don’t want to push her like Jamie seems to. As much as I’m glad she’s here, I don’t want her to be anymore uncomfortable around Jamie and I than she already seems to be.

“No problem.” Faith starts to back away before speaking again. “What kind of water? We have normal tap, obviously. But we also have bottled still, sparkling, or I can put some fruit in your water too if ye’d like.”

I smiled fondly at the girl in front of me. Now that I’m really looking at her, it’s like looking into a mirror of my own teenage years. Her little sticky out ears and her eye shape definitely come from Jamie, but most of her other physical features come from me. Looking at her now, I can’t believe I didn’t put it together sooner. 

“I’ll just have whatever you and your fath...” I stop myself before finishing the word father. The way her small fist clenches at her side at my little slip doesn’t go unnoticed. By me or Jamie who is now standing right next to her. “Whatever is easiest for you.” I tell her instead.

“There’s a bottle of strawberry and kiwi water in the cupboard. Pour some in to a wee glass and Claire will take that. I made a fresh jug with strawberries earlier that’s in the fridge. We can have a glass of that.” Jamie tells her.

“Canna give her a bottle of warm water.” Faith argued.

“It’s fine, Faith. I kind of prefer water room temperature anyway.” I tell her.

She doesn’t answer, just slowly nods her head and turns to leave Jamie and I alone in the conservatory.

We just stand here staring at each other for a little while. Neither of us completely sure of what to say. I have so many questions, but it doesn’t seem right for me to ask when Faith isn’t here to hear Jamie’s explanation.

“I...uh... I’m sorry to hear about Ellen, Jamie.” I say quietly.

“Aye. Thanks.” I could tell he was starting to feel a little uneasy. He moves to sit down on one of the arm chairs across from me and invites me to sit down in the settee behind me. “Did Julia tell ye?” He asks me.

“Uh, no actually. It was Faith.” I tell him. 

“How did ye’s meet anyway?” He asks me with a curious expression on his face.

“Just as I was leaving Mum’s room earlier, Faith arrived for a visit. She seemed... vulnerable. Broken.” I answer truthfully as Jamie nods his head like he understands completely what I mean. “Mum was asleep, so I asked Faith to come back another time. 

“She was so upset, Jamie. I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving her on her own, so I invited her to Millers for some ice cream. She was a little hesitant at first because she doesn’t really know me, but she soon gave in and came with me. 

“I know I only just met her, but she seems... lost.”

“Aye.” Jamie breathes. “She’s really goin’ through it at the moment, I mean, we all are. But Faith? Christ Sassenach, it physically kills me that she’s so torn up about everythin’ and she wilna let me close enough to help her heal.” The look on his face tells me exactly how painful all this is for him as well. As much as I do feel for him, I can’t let myself forget that he is the only person that can give Faith and I the answers we desperately need. The answers we deserve.

Just as Jamie and I slip back in to an awkward silence, Faith returns to the room with a tray of three glasses of water. 

“The strawberry and kiwi water is just bottled water, so I cut up a couple fresh strawberries and threw them in yer glass. Ye can take them out of ye want.” Faith tells me as she passes me over the small glass tumbler.

“Thank you, Faith.”

Faith picks up another glass from the tray that was now resting on the coffee table in the middle of the conservatory floor, and turns to sit down on the floor near the door. Obviously trying to keep as much distance between herself and Jamie and I as possible. 

Jamie let’s out a low grunt before sitting forward on his chair and picking up the last glass from the tray. As he sits back, he lifts the glass up as if to inspect it.

“If ye want ice, ye ken where the freezer is.” Faith tells him pointedly. It’s clear from the small smirk playing on her lips that she is just looking to get a rise out of him.

Jamie doesn’t answer her, just takes a sip from his glass and adjusts himself to get comfortable in his seat.

“Right.” I say, trying my best to break the tension in the room. “Shall you and I start from the beginning and answer Faith’s questions after we explain our side of the story? Then you can tell us what happened after I left, and explain why I was never informed that our daughter was with you the entire time.”

I have my eyes firmly on Jamie, but from the corner of my eye I can see Faith smiling as if she finds it funny. Not the situation we find ourselves in, but more the way I’m speaking to Jamie.

“Aye.” Jamie sighs, but doesn’t quite meet my eye to look at me properly.

“So, I ask ye for answers and ye give me the silent treatment, but then she comes back and asks for answers and ye’re all for it?!” Faith bites out more anger directed at Jamie.

Jamie doesn’t answer her. Or look at her. It’s been nearly thirteen years since I’ve seen or spoken to him, but his expressions haven’t changed. He feels guilty. I’m just not sure if he feels more guilt because we abandoned our child, or because he neglected to tell Faith and I the truth.

It’s clear Jamie wants to explain, but I’m guessing he doesn’t know how to begin. 

I down the glass of water Faith handed me before setting the empty glass back down on the tray in front of me. If Jamie isn’t going to speak, I suppose I’ll need to start.

Just as I open my mouth to speak, Jamie cuts me off.

“Dae ye, eh... fancy somethin’ stronger, Sassenach? I think we could both use a wee tipple, aye?” Jamie suggests and I just glare at him as if he’s mad. 

“Can I have one?” Faith pipes up and I turn my head to glare at her instead.

“No one is drinking any alcohol.” I say firmly. “Not while we have so much to discuss. We need clear heads, Jamie. And you’re only twelve years old.” I point out to Faith.

Faith rolls her eyes at me, and for a second I think that that’s how I must have looked to my own parents when I was her age. “I’ll be thirteen in just over a week, actually. Practically a teenager already.” Faith answers me sarcastically.

“Ye can say that again.” Jamie mutters under his breath.

“I’m painfully well aware of how old you are and when your birthday is, Faith.” I tell her before turning back to Jamie. “I hope she hasn’t been raised drinking whisky?” I snap at Jamie. 

“Of course no, Sassenach. Well, only a dab or two when she was teething.” Jamie smiles at me, but I don’t smile back.

“Right.” I try again. “It’s getting late. The sooner we talk everything through, hopefully in a calm manner, the sooner we can all get some rest.”

I begin by explaining to Faith that Jamie and I had been friends since we were ten years old. We met in school not long after I moved to Inverness with my parents and became best friends. Through mine and Jamie’s immediate friendship, our parents became close friends too. It wasn’t unusual for me to be over at Jamie’s house after school, or him and his siblings over at mine. Then when we were teenagers, something changed between us and we began to date. We were so happy and so in love. I make it very clear to Faith that although we hadn’t planned to have a child in our final year of school, we were both thrilled about the news of my pregnancy. We were so happy and so excited, we couldn’t wait to share the news with our parents. They had supported us through everything else in our lives, we were more than certain they would support us through my pregnancy and the birth of their first grandchild as well. 

We were both wrong on that one. 

“When they sat us down a couple of weeks later and suggested adoption, both Jamie and I refused. We were furious that they could have even suggested such a thing. We wanted you. We loved you. We desperately wanted you more than anything.” I tell her. Faith hasn’t said much at all though. She’s been very quiet as she listens to me explain my side of what happened. I fear it may be too much for my little girl to handle so soon after just losing Ellen.

“When yer Mam...” Jamie trials off after Faith shoots him a pissed off look when he referred to me as her Mum. “When Claire was pregnant wi’ ye, and ye were growin’ inside her belly, it was one of the happiest times of my life. I never thought I could be so happy.

“Claire would sit on the couch, or lay down on the bed, and I’d be right there wi’ her. Wi’ ye both. Runnin’ my hand over her bump every day as ye grew bigger and bigger. Talkin’ away tae ye as if ye understood every word I said. 

“I loved ye, Faith. From the very moment I found out Claire was pregnant wi’ ye.”

It’s hard to sit here and listen to Jamie’s words. Every word he’s said is true. He did all of that, and more. We were the happiest couple in the world when we found out I was expecting a child. Our child. 

That’s the Jamie I wish I could remember. That was the Jamie I fell in love with and created our child with. But... by the time I was six months pregnant, he’d changed. He had came to the same conclusion as our parents. Our child would be better off without us. For the last thirteen years, that’s all I have been able to think about when he comes to my mind. He decided our child deserved better than what we could give her. He wasn’t even prepared to try and raise her. It didn’t just break my heart, it completely shattered me.

I could have managed without the support of our parents, but I couldn’t raise our child on my own with no support from him. I felt backed in to a corner and I had no choice but to agree to give my child away. 

Faith is still sat on the floor, away from Jamie and I. She still hasn’t said anything, and as much as I want to know if she’s doing alright, I don’t want to say anything to make her run off. Apparently she has had a habit of doing just that this past week. 

“Faith? Can ye see now how much we loved ye from the start? How much ye were wanted by us both?” Jamie asks her gently. I do my best to not huff at his words. I mean, what he said is true, but something changed for him somewhere down the line of my pregnancy. The look that Faith is giving him makes me think she understands that too.

Faith doesn’t answer him as she begins to stand. I start to fear that she’s going to go and shut herself off somewhere, but to my surprise, she takes a few shaky steps towards me and sits down beside me on the settee.

“Everyone told ye it would be better if ye gave me away.” She says sadly as she fidgets with her hands in her lap.

“Yes.” I answer simply.

“But ye really didna want to. Ye wanted to keep me.”

“Of course I did. 

“Faith, I really need you to know that I would have never agreed to it unless I truly thought I could raise you on my own. There was no way I would have been able to support us both on my own. I wasn’t much more than a child myself. I hadn’t even turned eighteen yet when you were born.” I explain to her.

“So... it’s Jamie’s fault then? It’s all Jamie’s fault we were separated.” Faith says. I can see the fiery Fraser temper starting to rise in her face and her eyes. She’s furious with him. As am I, but right now he is the only constant in her life. I can’t let her tear herself further apart from him. It will only hurt her more in the long run, and judging by Jamie’s body language and behaviour, I’d say it would destroy him if she didn’t forgive him. 

As much as I don’t owe Jamie Fraser a thing, I owe everything to Faith. I need to make sure she and Jamie can reconcile at least some kind of relationship.

“It wasn’t Jamie’s fault either. I expect he felt just as backed in to a corner as I did.”

She doesn’t answer. Just goes back to being as silent as she was before. Still sat beside me though, so to me that’s a big step in the right direction. There is definitely a long way to go between the two of us, but the fact that she isn’t turning away from me now is a good thing. Right?

Jamie moves towards us to crouch down in front of the settee, leaving enough space between us to not overcrowd Faith too much. He begins to tell her something I had no idea about. He explains that his father Brian was adamant Jamie was to work in the family business. The hardware store that had been in Jamie’s family since the early 1900’s. When the business was first started by Jamie’s four times great grandfather, it was simply called “The Ironmongers”. Then in 1978, Jamie’s grandfather decided to expand the business and open up various stores across the Highlands and Islands. The name of the business was then changed to “Fraser’s Hardware”. 

When I was applying to universities, I had applied to a fair few in Scotland. Aberdeen was actually my first choice. That meant that Jamie could work as a customer assistant in one of the shops in Aberdeen. That was the plan anyway. Turns out Brian had other ideas.

“Da was annoyed because Will was refusing to come back home. He had set up a good life over in France, and was enjoyin’ his work wi’ Jared. 

“Da was already strugglin’ wi’ his health, but he kept it well hidden. He told me he didna want me just workin’ part time hours in the shop, he wanted to train me up to take over the entire business as soon as possible. Again, I didna ken the real reason why. I thought it was because he just wanted to retire early. Lord kens the man could afford to. 

“When I thanked him for the opportunity, I said I had to turn it down. I didna have the time for that kind of responsibility in my life when I was about to become a young father for the first time. I needed a stable job that would allow me to be home for my child. Especially wi’ Claire’s plans to go to university. Da wasna happy though. It was after I turned down his offer of taking over the business that he got inside my head about not bein’ ready to be a father. He wasna the only one though. Colum and Dougal got their wee digs in as well. When Ma tried to tell me again that giving ye up would be for the best, I stuck to my instinct and told her no. All that mattered to me in life was Claire and the bairn. Even if that meant we had to struggle just the three of us, I’d make sure Claire and you would have all ye needed.”

“So what changed after I reached six months of pregnancy, Jamie? Because one minute we’re sitting down trying to work out the best possible future for ourselves, and then the next you told me that our parents were right and the best thing we could do for our child was to give her to a family who could give her everything we couldn’t.” I can feel my eyes stinging from filling up with my tears. I try my best to not let them spill over, but when Faith moves closer to my side and rests a hand on top of mine, I can’t help but let them fall.

“Yer acceptance letter from London came.” He says as if that’s answer enough.

“And? I told you that I had no real intention of going to London. My life was here in Scotland. With you.”

“Yer father came to see me after ye told yer parents that ye were still holding out for a letter from Aberdeen.”

“Wh-what did he say?” 

“Just the same as he’d been sayin’ before. Same as everyone else had. We were too young. Had our whole lives ahead of us. Blah blah blah—“

“Jamie!”

“Sorry. I think it was because it was just the two of us, I really had a chance to listen to what he was sayin’. It was nothin’ new, but it started to sink in for me that maybe everyone was right, and maybe we couldna give the bairn the life she deserved.

“Ye wanted to become a surgeon, Claire. There is no way that ye could have achieved that if we were raising a bairn. Our parents werna exactly supportive in the right way when ye were pregnant. Did ye really think things would get better when the bairn arrived?”

“I would have gladly given up any kind of career if it meant I had our child with me. But you just decided to agree with them, and that was it.” I snapped viciously at Jamie. “We could have worked it out. Just the three of us. But you took the easy way out, Jamie.”

We fall in to another silence. But for some reason, I don’t mind. Faith is still sat right beside me with her hand over mine. She doesn’t pull away like I expect her to. 

A few minutes go by before Faith decided to break the silence.

“So... ye had me, then what?” She asks softly.

“I had you, and I didn’t want to let you go. I begged them to let me hold you. My parents and Jamie’s parents tried to talk me out of it and tell me it was better if I didn’t even see you, but I demanded to hold you.

“The midwife brought you in and let me hold you. I loved you the moment I knew I was expecting you, but when I held you in my arms, I fell even deeper in love with you. I never thought it was possible to have so much love for someone until I had you.

“Two days later, I was sitting in one of the family rooms with you in my arms as I sang you some nursery rhyme I remembered from my own childhood. I was so focused on you, I didn’t pay much attention to anything else. I knew Jamie was stood against the wall watching me with you, but I didn’t speak to him. I was so angry at him, I couldn’t even look at him. Then out of nowhere, they came in and took you from me. Literally ripped you out of my arms as I screamed blue murder for them to give you back to me. They didn’t though.”

“Claire was distraught. She curled herself in to a wee ball and cried her eyes out. I dinna ken how long she stayed like that before Julia helped her to her feet and took her out. 

“I’ll never forget the look on yer face that day, Sassenach. It broke my heart to see ye so... so broken.” Jamie says quietly. He’s been silent for a little while, so his voice is quite dry and croaky.

I try my best not to roll my eyes or throw hateful words at him because Faith is sitting right here beside me. I don’t want her to know that while I was losing everything that ever mattered to me, Jamie just stood there and did nothing. He said nothing. When he said it broke his heart to see me like that, I just want to scream at him and tell him he had a funny way of showing it. But no. Faith doesn’t need to know that. Whatever I have to say on that subject can wait until a time where Jamie and I are alone. If I will ever be able to actually sit in a room alone with him without wanting to rip his head off.

“Then what happened? Did ye just take off to London then?” Faith asks me as she pulls away from me slightly.

“Not immediately. I still had some things to sort out, but as soon as I could, yes. I went to London.” I tell her.

“Ye didna even tell me ye were goin’.” Jamie whispers. “Ye didna even say goodbye.”

“I couldn’t. I was so angry and heartbroken. I lost not only you and Faith, Jamie, but I lost my parents as well as your family. I couldn’t stay. I had to leave.”

We all fall in to silence again before Faith offers to leave Jamie and I to talk alone. I don’t want that, and I’m fairly certain Jamie doesn’t want her to leave either. I can see the surge of panic in his face when Faith stands to leave.

“Please dinna leave, Faith. I want ye here when I tell Claire how ye came to be here.” Jamie pleads with Faith. We both let out a sigh of relief when she sits back down next to me.

Jamie goes on to inform us that it wasn’t an immediate thing that Brian and Ellen had adopted Faith. In fact, she was almost a year old before she came to live with them.

My baby girl was born with respiratory issues and I didn’t even know. The couple that were supposed to adopt her had changed their mind apparently. For the first couple of years of my daughters life, she was in and out of hospitals. The first few months of her life being the worst. 

To make things even more heartbreaking, she was being passed around from foster home to foster home. Somehow, I’m not sure how, but Brian and Ellen had discovered that Faith hadn’t been adopted at all, so they decided to bring her home with them so they could take care of her.

When Jamie tells me that he initially thought that he was going to be a father to our daughter, I want to reach out and slap him. But then he goes on to explain that he had a plan. For the three of us. Him, Faith and I. In London.

I let out a gasp in surprise when Jamie tells me about the job he had lined up and his cousin Rupert had offered a place for him and Faith to stay until he found something proper for all three of us. Rupert’s girlfriend had even agreed to take care of Faith while I was in school and Jamie was working.

“I swear to ye Claire. I had it all figured out. At least... I thought I did. There was nothing I wanted more than to raise Faith wi’ ye. She needed us, Claire. She needed her parents.” Jamie says as he reached out to place a hand next to my leg on the settee. 

“So... why did we not go to London then?” Faith demands. “If ye had it all figured out, why did we stay here, and why did I grow up as yer wee sister?”

“Because when I told Ma and Da of my plans, they told me I wasna fit to be a father. Said ye were better off wi’ them as yer parents. In the end, I had to agree.”

“How come?” I ask Jamie.

“I was a mess when ye left, Claire. I couldna sleep. I wasna eating properly. I could barely look after myself, never mind you and the bairn. 

“When they said I wasna fit to be a father, I tried to turn it around. I swear I did. I thought that if I could get myself together, prove that I was what Faith needed, then I could be a proper father to her and bring her to you. It didna happen though. She was theirs, and there was nothin’ I could do about it.” He says sadly.

“What about my parents?” I ask. I’m in such a shock, and my head is spinning with all this information, I can’t even look at Jamie. Or Faith. “I assume they knew that the child your parents adopted was our child?”

“Aye.” Jamie sighs before sitting back a bit to leave more space between us. “My parents told them straight away that they planned to bring Faith home wi’ them once they had decided. 

“I think... my parents thought they were doing the right thing. I truly believe that, Claire. They loved the lass just as much as we did, but they thought that giving the lass to a family that could take care of her properly was for the best. And when they learned it didna work out that way, they didna hesitate to say they wanted Faith home here.

“As far as I’m aware, your parents agreed. They felt just as sick as the rest of us to learn what had happened to Faith.” Jamie explains. And to be honest, as angry as I am about all this, I also feel grateful. Grateful to Brian and Ellen for taking in my daughter when she needed a home and a family to love her. Grateful that my parents were part of her life. Grateful that Jamie had been with her for the majority of her young life.

It still doesn’t cancel out the hurt and the betrayal I feel though. While Jamie and his family, as well as my parents got to see Faith grow up, I didn’t. No one told me she was with them all these years. I had to dream and imagine what my daughter looked like. How she would be. None of them had to imagine because they got to see her every day. They got to be a part of her life every damn day. 

Yes, I became a doctor and have a wonderful career. But in all honestly, it doesn’t mean a thing compared to having a daughter. Having my daughter. If I had known she was here with the Fraser’s, I would have come home and been a part of my daughters life in any way I could. That was robbed from me. Not once, but twice. Yet again, our parents thought they knew what was better for Jamie and I, and our daughter.

I finally twist myself a little to the right so I can look at Faith. She’s so beautiful. She certainly doesn’t get her height from her father. She’s about the same height as me. She is only twelve though, so she might grow a bit more. She has my wild brunette curls, and I can’t help but wonder if she has the same struggles with her hair as I did at her age. It wasn’t really until I was an adult and I could afford real product to help me control my hair. I should offer her some advice on how to manage it. Her eyes are shaped just like Jamie’s, but the colour is a similar golden amber to my own. I can’t help but wonder how Jamie managed to look at our daughter every day and see me looking back at him. I wonder if it was me who had been close to our child all these years, and if she looked more like Jamie, would I be able to look at her and not see him? Look at her and not feel guilty for keeping her from him? I doubt it. That’s obviously the difference between Jamie and I. I couldn’t have done what he did.

“Who was it that gave you your name?” I ask Faith curiously. Jamie and I were told that it was better if we didn’t name her. That wasn’t really a problem for us. Before Jamie decided on adoption, we talked about names often, but we never seemed to be able to agree on a name.

Faith’s brow furrows as she looks at me in confusion. “Ye didna name me yourself?”

“Uh, no. We were advised not to.” I tell her.

Jamie moves the tray from the coffee table, and places it on the chair he had previously been sitting on, before he moves to come and sit on the coffee table in front of Faith and I. Thankfully, the table looks really sturdy and it seems to be holding Jamie’s weight quite well. 

“I dinna ken for certain, but I think it was either a midwife, or someone from social services that gave ye the name. Along wi’ the surname Beauchamp. Since Claire was your biological mother, ye were given her surname. That is until my parents adopted ye. Then ye became a Fraser.” Jamie smiled fondly at Faith.

“What about my middle name then?” Faith questioned.

“That was me. It isna official, but after Ma and Da adopted ye, I asked if I could give ye a middle name. Technically ye now had my last name, but I wanted ye to have something of Claire as well.” Jamie tells her with a wide grin splashed across his face.

“Oh god.” I say. “Please don’t tell me you named her Claire?” I spit out. Not that I have anything against my name, it just isn’t something I would have picked out for my child.

Jamie let’s out a loud laugh. “Of course I didna. I kent ye woulda hated that.”

“Then what?” I ask. 

Jamie is still too busy laughing, so it’s Faith that tells me what he decided to give her as an unofficial middle name. “My name is Faith Elizabeth Fraser.”

I snap my head back to Jamie. He’s stopped laughing, but he’s smiling brightly at me and Faith.

“Y-you named her Elizabeth?” I ask softly. My voice is so soft, it comes out more of a whisper.

“Dae ye no like it?” Faith asks me. “Personally, I like it better than Faith.” She shrugs.

“I love it.” I tell her. I clear my throat a little and begin to tell her how my middle name is Elizabeth too. She seems to really like the idea that we share the same middle name, and I silently thank Jamie for letting me be a part of her name in some way. It’s very sweet.

“In fact, if I remember correctly, I did suggest Elizabeth as a name, but Jamie immediately said no.” I chuckle. It was true. He discarded it straight away and said we needed to find a stronger name. A proper Scots name.

Jamie laughs too before he responds, “I remember. Though, I do think it makes for a lovely middle name. It’s only a small gesture, Claire, but I wanted to make sure ye were still part of the lass’ life in some way. I ken it doesna come close to making up for what we’ve all done these past thirteen years, but I hope ye ken that I wanted Faith to have a part of ye wi’ her.”

“Thank you, Jamie. I can’t even begin to tell you how much that means to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter will be posted in a few days. Either Sunday or Monday.
> 
> It’s from another persons POV, so I hope you’ll enjoy that... X


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys...
> 
> Okay, so first of all, I’d like to thank you all for the comments when I asked for your opinions. Most of you suggested I post as one chapter because you love long chapters, but I had a couple asking for it to be split in to two, so this is what I came up with...
> 
> The chapter is posted as one, but half way down, I have written in Part two. So if you want to read a bit and then come back to it in a couple of days, it will be easier to see where you were.
> 
> Thank you all again for taking the time to read this fic and I’ll post the next chapter either at the end of the week, or beginning of next week. I’m in the middle of packing to move back in to my parents house, so editing is taking a bit longer than usual. But I don’t mind because it gives me an excuse to not pack, haha.
> 
> Kirsty X

Chapter Five

Faith’s POV

Part One

It’s been over a week now since I properly met Claire at the hospital. I went to ask Julia for the answers that Jamie wouldn’t give me before. It’s been over a week since I learned that Claire is actually my biological mother. It was a shock, but even I have to admit that I’m glad it’s her.

When I was a wee lass, I had fears of my real parents being alcoholics or drug abusers or something and they weren’t able to take care of me. Now I ken Jamie is my real Da, and Claire is my Mam. She’ a doctor. An actual doctor. I never imagined my real mother to be so successful. 

Jamie said that Claire had always wanted to become a surgeon. He was shocked when I told him that she told me she was a paediatrician. Apparently she was so focused on doing whatever she could to become a successful surgeon. 

When Claire came in to the Chinese the night before I met her at the hospital, I couldn’t help but watch her as she sat waiting on her order to be ready. She seemed so... familiar. I dinna ken why it didn’t click sooner, because when I look at the woman, she really does look like an older version of myself. I can see so much of myself in her, like I’ve never seen myself in anyone else before.

The night I literally bumped in to her at the hospital, she was so very sweet to me. She could tell I was upset and in need of a shoulder to cry on, and she was there for me. She had no idea who I was, although it was clear she thought I was Jamie’s sister. I think that’s why she was so protective of me that night, and wanted to take care of me. I really appreciated that. I ken Jamie did too.

When Jamie said that she was my mother though, I thought my world was coming down on me all over again. I was really struggling then. Mainly because I didna have the full story as to why Brian and Ellen adopted me when I was Jamie’s daughter. Claire had kept saying she had no idea about what had happened and begged me to speak wi’ her, but I couldn’t. I needed to get away. From both of them. But when she appeared at the house a wee while later, I was relieved in a way. I was finally getting the chance to learn the truth. And so was she. 

Claire is such a wonderful woman. I havena spent much time with her since learning the truth, but I can see that she’s a really incredible woman. And beautiful. I only hope I look half as good as her when I’m her age.

Will left to go back to Paris a few days ago. Apparently he couldn’t take any more time off. He did end up staying a couple days longer than he initially planned, and I was glad. I get the impression that he could have stayed longer if he really wanted to, but he wanted to give Jamie and I time to sort things out between us. I promised to at least try wi’ Jamie, but only if Will promised me that I could go and visit him if things got a bit much for me here. He and Jamie reluctantly agreed, but made it clear that it would only be for a visit, and my place was here wi’ Jamie. 

Jamie and I have been getting on better since he and Claire opened up and told me what happened when I was born. I’m not saying I’ll ever forget all the hurt that this lie has caused me, but I’ve forgiven him. It wasn’t easy, but it was actually Claire that made me realise that Jamie was hurt just as much as she and I were by all this. 

Jamie has also sent me back to school. I was annoyed at first, but I think it’s been for the best. It gives Jamie and I some time apart during the day, and also takes my mind of things.

I’ve been itching to spend some time wi’ Claire again so I can get to ken her a bit better, but I understand that Julia needs her right now. I ken she’s been at the house once or twice since that night she and Jamie opened up and told me their side of the story. She hasna been to the house when I’ve been there though. I dinna think she’s avoiding me. She’s made it clear she does want to spend time wi’ me, but I think our schedules just haven’t been able to align this week. I can tell when she’s been over though, because Jamie is always in a crabby mood after she leaves. 

Today is no different.

I walk in the front door when I arrive home from school to find Jamie gripping on to the kitchen island for dear life. His head is bent down, but as soon as he feels my presence, he turns his head to the side to look at me before pushing himself away from the island.

“How was school?” He asks wi’ a small smile that I can tell immediately is false.

I shrug my backpack off my shoulders and place it on one of the chairs around the kitchen table. “Fine, I suppose. Reverend Wakefield took us for R.E today, so that was interesting I suppose.”

Jamie doesn’t say anything. He just gives me another false smile before turning to pull a pot out of the bottom drawer under the cooker. Today must have been a stressful day for him, because he’s preparing to make some hot chocolates for us both. Something he does when we play a game of chess, or I need cheering up, or when he does. Since I’m not as distant or as angry or upset as I was last week, I’m guessing something has happened to Jamie.

“Ye have any homework today?” Jamie’s asks as he pours the almond milk in to the pot.

“Not really.” I shrug.

“No really? And what does that mean?” Jamie turns to smile at me. This time it’s a real smile. A proper wide grin. “Ye either have homework to do, or ye don’t.” He says pointedly

“It isna homework, but I was put on the planning committee for the afternoon tea next week. Marsali thought it would help me if I was to focus on something. Keep me busy.” I tell him.

“Sounds like a good idea.” Jamie says. He then turns to face me properly after pulling out the cream and the marshmallows and leaving them on the side. “What is it? Ye dinna want to help organise it?”

I let my shoulders drop before I pull myself up to sit on the worktop. “It’s more or less all organised, so all I really need to do is keep asking people if they can make it, and keep track of the numbers of those attending.”

“And that’s a problem, why?” Jamie asks.

“It isna. I just dinna like being involved wi’ it when I’m no goin’.” I say sadly.

Jamie moves along to stand just in front of me. He uses his index finger to move my chin up gently so I look at him. “Why ye no goin’?” He asks me as his brows furrow in confusion. “Ye’ve been lookin’ forward to this afternoon tea thing all year.”

“I canna go alone.” I whisper.

“Alone? Is Marsali and Lizzie no goin’?” Jamie asks as he reaches over to stir the milk in the pot.

“Aye.” I sigh. “With their mothers. But I dinna have one now.” I slide down from the worktop and make my way upstairs to shut myself in my room.

I had been lookin’ forward to the afternoon tea. All year. It’s a tradition at the school that the first year students get to do an activity and bring a parent along too. For the past five years, the girls have been attending an afternoon tea wi’ their mothers, and the boys have been goin’ to some sort of sports activity thing. Technically, I could have gone to the sports thing. Ye get to choose what activity ye want to do, but I chose the afternoon tea instead because I thought it would have been good for Ellen and I. She always did love afternoon tea, and when she got sick, I thought this would have been a good thing for us to attend. Another memory to make. Unfortunately, she passed away before we could.

My teachers and friends are still encouraging me to go, but it doesna feel right. Reverend Wakefield even suggested today that I invite Jamie along. I said I would think about it, but I’m not too sure. I ken Jamie would come if I asked him, but I dinna think he would feel all that comfortable in a room with a bunch of women and teenage girls. Especially wi’ my best friend Marsali’s mother Laoghaire being there. 

Laoghaire and Jamie went out a few times a couple of years ago, but Jamie had no real interest in her. He came home and did nothing but moan and complain about her clingyness, and her immaturity. I kent what he meant. As much as I love Marsali, her mother can be a bit much. When Laoghaire started telling Marsali and her wee sister Joanie that Jamie could be their new father, I told Jamie he needed to put Laoghaire straight if he didn’t want her. It wasna fair on Marsali and Joanie. It could have also made things difficult in my friendship wi’ Marsali if Jamie had of just kept things going wi’ Laoghaire.

*Knock knock

I ken it’s Jamie at my bedroom door since we’re the only ones here. We’re always the only ones here now.

I pull myself up from my bed and pad over to open the door. Jamie is stood there wi’ two mugs of hot chocolate in his hand and a small smile on his face. “Come on, a leannan. Let’s go watch a film and drink these, aye? It’s been a while since you and I just hung out doin’ nothin’ the gether.”

I nodded my head and took a mug from Jamie before following him down the hallway to the media room he had set up for me a couple of years ago. It used to be Willie’s room when he lived at home, but now it’s filled wi’ a 42” tv on the wall, shelves and shelves filled wi’ DVD’s, Blu-ray’s, video games for the PS3 and 4. There’s also a couple of bookcases filled wi’ mine and Jamie’s books. Some of Ellen’s gardening and recipe books take up some of the shelf at the bottom, but Jamie has everything well organised. Honestly, if ye walked in here, ye would think the man had OCD or something. He’s very pernickity about what goes where in this room.

Jamie turns the television on as I sink down on to the large corner sofa that sits in the middle of the room. I keep a firm hold of my hot chocolate that’s decorated wi’ cream, marshmallows, and some chocolate flake pieces, while I pull the blanket from the back of the couch and place it over my lap to keep me nice and cosy.

Once the television is on, Jamie comes over to sit on the sofa, but keeps a good distance between us. I hate this. Jamie wasn’t just my older brother, but he was my best friend. Now everything has changed, and I dinna ken how to make things better again. I can see that it wasn’t his fault what happened. I may only be just about to turn thirteen, but to me, from what I heard Jamie and Claire say, they were both victims in this too. I hate the word victim, but that’s just how this all makes me feel. Jamie believes that Brian and Ellen were only doing what they thought was right for me, but what was right about making Jamie think he wasn’t capable of being a father? What was right about not telling Claire that I wasn’t adopted by the family she thought? What was right about making me grow up thinking my paternal grandparents were just my adoptive parents, and making me think my biological father was my brother? It makes me so angry when I think about it. How did Jamie cope being so close to me, but was unable to tell me the truth? It must have been so hard for him. And then when the truth came out, I lashed out at him and tried my best to stay away from him. I just felt so betrayed. I still do. But not by Jamie. Not by Claire. She didn’t even know what happened after they took me from her. I feel betrayed by Brian and Ellen, and now neither of them are here for me to ask them why they did what they did. There is Julia, but it doesn’t seem right to confront her about all this when she’s going through so much herself. She is the only person that may be able to explain why Brian and Ellen did what they did. I also need her to explain why she never told her own daughter about me. How could she do that? Julia had always been like a second mother to me. How could she be so close to me all these years and not even tell Claire?

I try not to think too much on the why’s, how’s and what if’s. For the first time since I opened that letter from Ellen, I’m sat in the same room as Jamie and just chilling out. No arguing, no fighting, and no talking about what happened. It’s nice. I just wish our relationship wasn’t as strained as it is. I miss him. I miss my best friend.

“You ken I could always accompany ye to the afternoon tea? No really my thing, but I ken how much ye’ve been lookin’ forward to it. It really would be a shame for ye to miss out, Faith.” Jamie suddenly says out of nowhere.

“Thank ye, but no. I think I’ll give it a miss.”

“If ye change yer mind, ye ken where I am.” 

I finish off what’s left of my hot chocolate before reaching over to leave my empty mug on the small coffee table in front. I move closer towards Jamie and snuggle in to his side like I have done ever since I was a wee lass. This is always how we watch movies together. I dinna want that to change. I don’t want us to change. “Thank ye, Jamie.”

I look up at Jamie and he smiles down at me before wrapping his arm around my shoulder to pull me closer to him. It’s perfect.

After the movie is finished, Jamie and I head downstairs to start preparing dinner in the kitchen. I can tell something is really off wi’ Jamie because he suggest we just go out to dinner, or get a take out. Jamie rarely suggests such unless he’s not feeling too good, or he’s had a stressful day. The man always tries his best to prepare and make as healthy meals as possible.

I think back to how he was when I came home from school. Slouched over the kitchen island with a face like fizz. It was clear something had happened, but as soon as he saw me, he wanted to ken how my day was. When I opened up about not wanting to go to the afternoon tea, I took myself off to my room. I completely forgot to ask Jamie how his day was. He must think I’m so selfish. I always ask him about his day. Even on the days where we barley spoke, or the days where all we did was argue, I always made a point of asking him about his day.

I tell Jamie to go and sit down wi’ a cup of coffee and I’ll see to organising some dinner for us. I’m not too bad a cook, but I only really do it if a I really need to. Cooking is more Jamie’s specialty. And Jenny’s. Tonight though, I think it’s better just to order some food from the pub and have Murtagh deliver it. Might not be as healthy as Jamie likes, but the meals from the pub are always delicious. 

Once the food is ordered, I sink down on to the couch next to Jamie and just stare at him. He’s lost in his own wee world, and I’m fairly certain he has no idea that I’m even in the same room as him, never mind sat right next to him.

Suddenly, he shakes his head as if to rid himself of a memory of some kind. 

“Ye never told me how your day was.” I say softly.

Jamie turns his head to look at me and I see the edge of his lip curl up in to a quick smile.

“It was fine.” He says, but I can tell it’s a lie.

“Can I ask ye a favour?” I ask him, and Jamie agrees straight away wi’out a second thought. “Can we make a promise to one another? Can we promise no more lies between us? I dinna want to be back to where we were a week ago, Jamie. I ken we have a long way to go until we’re... well, us again, but I canna have ye lying to me. It isna fair.”

“I promise, a leannan. No more lies. I never ever wanted to lie to ye in the first place. Or keep this a secret from ye.” He tells me.

“I ken that. I’m just sorry for how I reacted to the whole thing. I should have behaved better. Much better.” I reply.

“Och lass. C’mere.” Jamie says as he wraps his arm around my shoulder to pull me in to him. “I dinna blame ye for feelin’ the way ye did. It was such a shock for ye. Ye didna deserve to find out the way ye did. I canna understand why Ma would have done it in such a way. She should have spoke to me about it beforehand. Let me try and prepare ye. I’m so sorry for all the hurt and upset all our actions have caused ye. I’m supposed to protect ye, but I didna.”

“She wasna herself towards the end, Jamie. She was confused. Really confused. 

“I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot lately, the letters she left us all. I think it was her way of saying everything she needed to, and writing it all down was the only way for her to remember what she wanted to say. Ellen was a wonderful woman. She loved us all more than anything. I dinna believe she would have done this to hurt us. 

“I think we need to remember as well that we all thought we had a bit more time wi’ her. Maybe she was going to speak to ye about what she’d written, but she ran out of time.” I explain to Jamie. As much as I dinna understand why Ellen kept me from being raised by my actual parents, I ken that she wouldn’t have done this to deliberately hurt us. 

“I never thought of it like that.” Jamie admits. “Christ, how did you get to become so wise?”

“It’s just something that’s been goin’ around in my head the last few days. We canna know for sure since she isna here to ask, but I’ve decided that that’s what I’m going to believe.” I tell him.

“Well, that’s verra grown up and mature of ye, Faith.”

I smile at Jamie and pull him in for a hug. “So will ye tell me what had ye so upset earlier? And dinna say nothin’, because ye promised me no more lies.”

Jamie sighs before sinking back to slouch on the couch a bit. “It was nothin’, really.” He says.

“Jamie...” I warn him.

“Claire came over earlier to talk. Ye just missed her when ye came home, actually. 

“We had... words.”

“About what?” I ask him. “I thought she forgave ye?” 

“Naw, lass. And I doubt she ever will. No that I blame her. I canna forgive myself.” Jamie admits.

“But... it was Claire that told me to forgive ye. It was her that made me understand that it wasna your fault. How could she tell me to forgive ye, when she canna forgive ye herself? It makes no sense.”

“I hurt ye both, Faith. In some ways, I suppose I hurt Claire a lot more. I hurt her so many times during the last three months of her pregnancy. Then when they took ye... I just stood there. I wanted to fight for ye, for both of ye, but I couldna. I was convinced that ye would have been better off wi’out us. I’ve regretted that every day of my life since. 

“Then as if it wasna enough that I let ye go, and gave Claire no other option but to do the same, I got to see ye grow up since before ye even turned one. Until just over a week ago, Claire hadna laid eyes on ye since ye were two days old. She’s went nearly thirteen years wi’out so much as knowin’ a single thing about ye. All she had was the memory of her pregnancy, and those two days wi’ ye before they took ye. I dinna blame her for hatin’ me over it. I hate myself for not fighting for us harder. I should have fought harder.”

After dinner, I get to work on clearing away the dishes while Jamie’s busy on the phone to Jenny. They’ve always been close. Just as Jamie and Will are too. Jenny calls to speak to Jamie at least twice a week. I love Jenny, but we aren’t all that close. Well, she has lived in the central belt most of my life. She did come home to visit every couple of months, and Brian and Ellen made sure to take me and visit her a couple of times a year too. I seem to be closer to Will than I am to Jenny though. It’s strange considering my relationship wi’ Will is basically a phone call once a month, and he only comes to visit once a year. 

Jamie and I have always been close though. I used to think it was because he still lived at home wi’ us and showed no interest in moving out and finding a place of his own. I would often wind him up over it. Most people his age have a place of their own and settled down wi’ a family or pets or something. Not Jamie though. Every time Brian used to try and talk him in to moving out, Jamie was adamant he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Jamie, why did ye never move out?” I ask him out of nowhere, interrupting his conversation about some soup recipe wi’ Jenny.

“Sorry?” Jamie asks in confusion to my sudden random question.

“I was just wondering why ye never moved out? Most folk in their thirties have a place of their own, they dinna stay wi’ their parents unless they really have to.” I say.

Jamie sighs and tells Jenny he’ll call her back in a wee while before hanging up. 

“I just didna fancy it.” Jamie shrugs.

“Didna fancy a house to yourself? Peace and quiet whenever ye wanted it. Able to have yer pals over whenever ye wanted. Cook whatever ye want because ye dinna need to factor in what everyone else wants. Trust me, if I was you, I would be livin’ my best life in a big fancy house of my own. Decorated and furnished to my taste.”

“I couldna move out.” Jamie mutters under his breath. He seems... angry?

“Why not? Ye’ve got a good stable job. I mean I dinna ken how much money ye have, but I’m fairly certain ye could afford yer own place. If not, I’m sure your parents would have been able to help ye out.”

“Aye.” Jamie breathed. “Da offered to buy me a wee one bedroom flat across town about ten years ago, then again just before he passed.”

“Seriously? Why did ye no accept? If he offered to buy me my own place, I’d have bit his hand right off.” I chuckle, but Jamie doesn’t laugh. 

“I always said no when he or Ma suggested I move out because I couldna leave ye. I couldna be a real father to ye, but as long as I was here, I got to be a brother to ye. I got to be yer best friend. I got to see ye and hang out wi’ ye whenever I wanted. 

“I made the mistake of leavin’ ye before, Faith. I couldna do it again. I had to be wi’ ye in any way I could.”

“Ye stayed... for me?” I ask him. Jamie looks me straight in the eye and smiles at me. 

“I refused to be parted from ye. Ma and Da thought I was making a mistake by sticking around, but I needed ye. I couldna think of anythin’ worse than bein’ parted from ye, Faith.” Jamie explains. 

I can feel my heart about to explode out of my chest. He stayed at home all these years for me. He had to stand back and watch his own parents raise me as their own, and call themselves my parents. He had to watch as I called them Ma and Da. How did he survive it? I dinna think I could have done that. It would be too painful.

“It was. It almost broke me every time ye had a nightmare, or fell and scraped yer wee knee and ye cried out for them. But it would have been even more painful to leave ye here wi’out me.” I look at Jamie in confusion as to how he was able to ken what I was thinking.

“Ye said yer thoughts out loud.” He informs me. “Not unlike someone else we ken.” Jamie smiled at me as he walked towards me and pulled me in to his arms. “I better ring Jenny back before it gets too late, or she’ll be really pissed.” 

I nodded my head before Jamie bent down to plant a kiss on top of my head.

“We’ll talk about this more though. I need ye to ken everythin’. I need ye to ken that ye’ve always been my wee lass, even if ye didna ken it.”

Part Two

I leave Jamie to call Jenny back and say I’m heading over to Marsali’s to pick up some things to help me organise the Afternoon Tea. Jamie doesn’t bat an eyelid and just believes me because I’ve never lied to him in my entire life. Not until just now.

I don’t ken why, but I just have this need to go and see Julia. Earlier today I had wanted to see Claire, but after hearing she completely ripped in to Jamie today, I don’t think I could face her right now. I ken I had been down right horrible to him the last couple of weeks, but it was Claire that made me realise it wasna his fault. It was Brian and Ellen. Also Henry and Julia, but mainly Brian and Ellen at fault. I canna understand why she would get me to forgive Jamie for something he had no real control over, yet she can resent him till the end of time. 

I understand he hurt her badly, I really do. But this is all new for all of us. It’s going to be hard enough to try and get through this, but if Claire is still taking it all out on Jamie, there’s no way things will ever get better. 

It’s also my birthday the day after tomorrow. I was hoping that Jamie, Claire and I could spend the day together when I finish school. Maybe go out for a meal or even just stay in and watch a move or something. I really doubt that’s going to be possible now.

When I arrive at the hospital, I head straight to Julia’s room. I have no intention of telling her I ken the truth about Claire and Jamie being my parents, I just really want to see her. Even though she had her own part to play in this whole mess, resenting people and holding grudges isna going to help anyone. Especially after all she’s suffered herself these last few weeks.

As soon as I reach the nurses station on the ward, Mrs Henderson from next door to Julia flashes me a bright smile before coming to wrap me in a big hug.

“How are ye doin’? How’s your brothers and Jenny goin’? I’ve been meaning to pop by wi’ a wee casserole for ye all, but I’ve just been so busy wi’ work and helping out wi’ Julia.” She explains. 

I smile fondly at the woman. She’s been a closer friend to Julia, but she and Ellen were good friends too. “It’s fine, honestly. We’re all doing alright. It was just such a shock to see her go so soon. We thought we had a few more months wi’ her.”

We speak away for a wee while before she informs me that Claire is in visiting her mother. I start to panic and suddenly feel stupid for coming. Of course she would be visiting Julia. Where else would she be?

“I dinna want to interrupt. I’ll maybe pop in and see her when she gets home and Claire heads back to London.” I say as I attempt to back myself away.

My Henderson waves me off as if I’m being foolish. “Now come on lass. Julia’s been desperate to see ye. She said ye’ve no been visiting as much lately, and when ye do come by, ye’re no yerself. Is everything okay? It must be difficult now Jenny and Willie are both away now.” 

“Everything’s fine. I just dinna want to intrude wi’ Claire and Julia. They hardly see each other wi’ Claire being down south.”

“Och, dinna worry, pet. Julia will be so happy to see yer wee face popping in to say hello. I finish my shift soon, so I can come back and get ye and drop ye off home if ye want?” Mrs Henderson offers.

“That’s very kind of ye. Thank you.” I say politely before turning around and bracing myself to see Claire sat by Julia’s bedside.

I lightly rap my fingers on the door before opening it slightly to stick my head in. Just as I imagined, Claire is sat in a chair right next to Julia’s bed on the right hand side. But over to the left, just in front of the window, there is a dark haired man sitting there laughing along to whatever they were joking about. I’ve never seen him before, and it makes me feel even more like an intruder.

“Hello sweetheart. Come on in.” Julia says brightly. She her speech is a bit better than it was a few weeks ago, but she still gets tired easily and that’s when her words start to slur again. Just like now.

“I’m sorry, I didna mean to intrude.” I apologise. “I’ll leave ye to it and maybe just see ye when ye get home and settled. That might be better.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Come on.” Julia demands as she pats a space on the bed beside her. “You haven’t been yourself all week, and I haven’t been able to be there for you properly since your mother passed, but I can try and be there for you now.”

I look over to Claire. She’s giving me a small smile, but she doesn’t say anything. I then look over to the man sat at the other side of the bed. He looks at me curiously, but doesn’t introduce himself.

I sit down on the bed next to Julia and smile at her. “I don’t think visitors are supposed to sit on the beds.” I whisper.

Julia just laughs at me and pulls me down to rest beside her. She holds me as tightly as she can in her arms, but due to the stroke, she isna as strong as she once was. 

“Just you let me worry about that, alright?” She bends her head slightly and plants a soft kiss on my forehead. “Now, does Jamie know you’re here, or is this one of your little disappearing spells everyone has been gossiping about?” Julia raises and eyebrows at me.

“He thinks I’m at Marsali’s.” I mumble.

“Why didn’t you just tell him you were coming here?” Claire asks.

“I dinna ken.” I shrug. “I just wanted to come and see Julia. He said I wasn’t to keep pestering her while she recovers.” It isna a complete lie, because he did tell me to let Julia recover and heal properly.

“You never pester me, sweetheart. I enjoy your little visits.” Julia says as she tries to squeeze me tighter, but she just isna strong enough.

“Right, well I’ll call Jamie and let him know you’re here and tell him I’ll drop you off in a little while.” Claire announces as she stands from her chair.

“No need.” I tell her. “I bumped into Mrs Henderson outside. She said she would give me a ride home when she finished her shift. She said she wouldn’t be long.”

“Fine.” Claire says as she collapses in to her chair again. “But can you please text Jamie and let him know you’re here? With me.”

I roll my eyes and pull my phone out and shoot a quick text off to Jamie to tell him where I am. Julia looks over to my screen to check what I say, and it’s in that moment I’m relieved there are no messages on mine and Jamie’s chat about him and Claire being my natural parents.

After the message is sent, it takes Jamie less than sixty seconds to call me. I sit up on the bed to go outside the room and answer the phone. 

Jamie was glad I told him the truth about where I went, but he was still disappointed I lied in the first place. I told him I just needed to see Julia. Focus on something other than the complicated situation between him, Claire and I. He completely understood. When I told him that Mrs Henderson was bringing me home after her shift, Claire took the phone from me and informed Jamie that she would bring me home soon. I didn’t even get a chance to argue, because Claire soon hung up the phone and handed it back to me. I wasn’t even aware she followed me out the room.

“I really need to speak with you, but obviously we can’t in front of Mum. I came by to see you earlier, but you weren’t home from school yet—“

“Jamie said ye went by and ye’s got in to an argument.”

“Well, it wasn’t—“

“When I came home from school, he was really... lost lookin’. It took a while, but he finally told me what ye said. That ye canna forgive him. A week ago I would understand, but now? It was you that persuaded me to forgive him for what happened because it wasna his fault. Why encourage me to give him another chance when ye planned on hating him for the rest of your life? It makes no sense.”

“I don’t hate him Faith, I just... it’s a lot to take in, and I just wish that he picked up the phone and called me to tell me you were safe and loved. That you were with family. I just wish he offered me the same opportunity he got. But no one gave me that, Faith. 

“Maybe Jamie never got to be your father, but he did get to watch you grow up. Be there for all your milestones. No matter how big or small, he was there. I want to forgive him, but it’s just going to take some time.” That I could understand. I just wish there was a way for us all to sit in one room wi’out ripping in to one another. Maybe I will need to go another few years wi’out celebrating my birthday wi’ them both together.

Claire leads us back in to Julia’s room. Julia scoots over on the bed again to let me down beside her, but Claire asks me to sit next to her on the larger visitors chair. It’s big enough for us both, but it is a bit of a squeeze. Not too uncomfortable though. 

Julia gasps in realisation that she hasn’t introduced me to the gentleman sitting at the other side of the bed. As soon as Julia mentions him, Claire let’s out a similar gasp and apologises to the man, Frank, for not introducing us sooner.

Julia introduces me to Frank as her late friend Ellen’s daughter. I can feel myself tense up at the words leaving her mouth, because ever since I read the letter Ellen left me, I’ve only referred to her by her name, never Ma. When Julia explains that Frank is Claire’s partner, I wish the ground would just swallow me up. I feel sick to my stomach. The man is so lovely though. He stands up straight away to shake my hand as he tells me he’s pleased to finally meet me. That makes Julia then ask how he kent of me. Claire says that she mentioned me on the phone after we met last week in the hospital. Of course, Julia is sat right there on the bed, so it isna like I can ask Claire if Frank kens I’m her long lost daughter, or if the man only kens of me as a family friend. The fact that Claire is here wi’ her partner, it makes me feel even worse. Like I really have intruded in on a family. 

Mrs Henderson sticks her head through the door to say that that’s her finished her shift if I’m ready to go. I stand up to follow her out, but Claire desperately grabs a hold of my hand and thanks Mrs Henderson, but explains that she told Jamie that she would take me home in a while. Mrs Henderson said that was fine, and before she left, she reminded Julia that she’s off tomorrow, so she’ll pop in so they can have a game of cards and a proper catch up. That definitely brought a small smile to Julia’s face.

When Mrs Henderson leaves, I’m still stood in place, not sure what to do. Part of me wants to run after Mrs Henderson so she can take me home to Jamie, but then Julia would wonder what’s wrong. Maybe Claire would too. 

Before I can think too much about anything, Claire gently tugs on my hand to bring my attention back to the room. I turn and offer Julia a smile before sitting down next to Claire again. I think she can sense I’m a little tense because she pulls me in to her side and runs her hand up and down my back to soothe me. Something Jamie always does when I’m upset or unwell. 

“So,” Julia starts. “What does Jamie have planned for you this week then?” I ken she’s meaning my birthday in a couple of days, but she’s obviously not wanting to come out and say it directly in front of Claire. 

I feel Claire’s hand suddenly stop dead on my back after Julia’s question. She obviously realises what her mother meant too.

“Um, nothin’ exciting. I was hoping to have dinner at the pub after school, but obviously you’re not fit to come along. It’ll be pretty boring if it’s just Murtagh, Jamie and I.” I shrug. “Maybe Jamie will make us something special, or we might just get something delivered.”

“So what’s so special about this week?” Frank asks curiously.

“It’ll be my birthday in a couple of days.” I answer.

“Ah, how old will you be?” He asks.

Before I can answer, Julia jumps in immediately and asks a question of her own.

“But you’ll drop in to see me on your way home from school though? Your present is at home, but Claire can bring it in for me tomorrow. Can’t you darling?” 

Claire agreed, and I promised to come and visit Julia straight after school.

Shortly after the brief talk of my birthday plans, Claire announces it’s time for her and Frank to drop me off home. We say our goodbyes to Julia and then we leave. As nice and friendly as Frank seems, I kind of feel awkward around him. Mainly because I wasn’t expecting him to be here. I didn’t even ken the man existed. I decide to walk on ahead of Frank and Claire. Claire tries to call me back when we reach outside, but I just keep walking in the direction she said the car was parked. 

The car ride is pretty quiet. The reason I don’t speak is because I have no idea how much this Frank guy kens about me. Also, it was Claire who was adamant she was taking me home. As we drive along the road, Claire and Frank in the front wi’ me in the back, I notice we missed the turn to my house.

“Um, ye missed the turning.” I point out.

“I’m dropping Frank off at Mum’s first and then I’ll take you home. I need to speak to Jamie.” Claire responds.

“About me lying to him about where I went? We talked about it on the phone and it’s fine. I mean, he’s disappointed in me, but he isna mad at me. Ye don’t need to say anythin’.” I assure Claire.

“It’s not about that. I owe Jamie an apology, and it’s something I’d rather do in person. Especially with your birthday in a couple of days, I don’t want things to be anymore awkward than they already are.”

“Ye’re... coming to my birthday?” I ask her. I definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Don’t you want to spend some time together on your birthday?” Claire asks as she looks at me through the rear view mirror of the car.

I shrug my shoulders, not really knowin’ how to respond. Of course I want to spend time wi’ her and get to ken her better, but the fact Frank is here, it makes me realise that she has a life down in London. Once Julia is discharged from hospital and settled in to her routine, Claire will be away back to her own life down south.

“Well, I would like to spend some time with you. If you don’t mind?” Claire asks when I don’t respond to her earlier question.

“That’s fine. Maybe the three of us could hang out when I finish school. Maybe go to Millers and have some ice cream or something?” I suggest.

“Sounds good to me. I’m sure Jamie won’t mind an afternoon in Millers.” Claire chuckles. “He always did love that place. More than he would ever care to admit.”

“I thought it would just be the three of us?” I question.

“Yes. You, me, and Jamie.” Claire says.

“Oh. Sorry, I thought maybe you, me and Frank could go to Millers.” I say.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Faith. I only arrived in town last night, and unfortunately I have to leave at lunchtime on Thursday. Thank you for the invite though. It’s very sweet of you to include me.” Frank answers. 

“Oh, that’s a shame.” I say.

“Well, why don’t we pick you up on Thursday morning? Your Mum and I could take you to breakfast before we drop you off at school?” Frank suggests. Normally I would get a surge of panic at Claire being referred to as my Mum, but all I can think about is the fact that he kens I’m her daughter. She told him about me. He kens, and he doesn’t seem angry. He’s being really sweet. Especially inviting me out to breakfast before he leaves to go home. 

“Faith?” Claire calls on me as we pull up just outside Julia’s house. “What do you think to Breakfast on Thursday morning with Frank and I?”

“Um, yeah. Sounds good. I just... I dinna want to put ye out. If ye’ve got things to do before ye leave, ye dinna need—“

“It’s fine, Faith. I would love to spend some time with you and get to know you better. You’re very important to Claire, that means you’re very important to me too.” Frank says wi’ a smile before he kisses Claire goodbye, wishes me a good night and jumps out of the car.

“He seems nice.” I say to Claire as I jump in to the front passengers seat.

“Frank? He is.” Claire agrees wi’ a bright smile. I can tell how much love they have for each other. Even if Claire hadn’t mentioned Frank before.

“How long have ye been together?” I ask.

“Three years. Though, we were friends for a couple of years before hand.”

“Ye never mentioned him.” 

“It wasn’t intentional. This week just hasn’t really gone as planned. I haven’t spent nearly as much time with you as I’ve wanted.”

“It’s fine.” I wave her off. “I’ve got school, and you’ve got Julia to take care of.”

“Still...”

It doesn’t take long for the drive from Julia’s house, over to mine. The drive was mainly quiet, but we had the company of the radio playin’ in the background. When we pull up outside my place, it doesn’t take long for Jamie to come and wait for me at the front door.

“Thank ye for the lift home. And I’m sorry I interrupted yer time wi’ Julia and Frank.” I say genuinely.

“You didn’t interrupt anything, sweetheart. I just wish there wasn’t such a big elephant in the room. I know Mum was happy to see you there this evening. She said you’ve visited a couple of times this week, but you haven’t stayed too long and you haven’t been yourself. No one would blame you if you didn’t want to visit Mum anymore.” Claire tells me.

“Do you not want me to visit her anymore?” I ask.

“Well, it isn’t up to me. It’s entirely your decision. I just don’t want you to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. 

“If it was me, I don’t think I could go and see her. I’m finding it really difficult myself right now. If it wasn’t for her needing me right now, I don’t think I would be going to see her. She’s my Mum, and I love her, but the fact that she’s lied to me all these years, kept you a secret from me... I... It’s really hard to be around her without confronting her about it. She isn’t strong enough for me to do that though. I might hate what she’s done, but I don’t want to see her suffer any more than she is right now.” Claire explains. I can tell she’s in an impossible situation, but I think she’s doing the right thing by not saying anything to Julia. At least not yet.

“I understand that. I feel exactly the same, but... I dinna ken. I just have this need to be wi’ her sometimes. Julia wasn’t just Ellen’s best friend, Julia was like a second mother to me. It pains me to see her in such a state. 

“Jamie and I had a really good afternoon together today. We talked a bit and watched a film together, just like we used to. He was needing to call Jenny back, and I just needed to get away for a bit. I don’t ken why, but I just really wanted to see Julia. She always makes me feel better when I’m down.

“I didn't tell Jamie because I didn’t think he would understand why I wanted to go and see her. I mean, how could he? I don’t even ken myself.” I admit. Claire reaches over and takes my hand in hers and rubs her thumb over the back of my hand.

“You can go and visit Mum whenever you like, but please let Jamie know where you are next time. He worries about you. And so do I.” 

I thank Claire again for the ride and make a move to jump out of the car when I hear Claire release her seatbelt. Right, she was going to apologise to Jamie. I just hope it doesn’t end in another argument. 

Claire and I begin to walk up the path together and Jamie meets us half way.

“Thanks for bringing her home, Sassenach.” Jamie says, but he isna his usual cheery, happy self. He’s very short and to the point. Their argument earlier must have been bad if he’s behaving like this towards her.

“It’s no trouble. I wanted a word with you anyway. I was going to pop round tomorrow, but since I’m here—“

“I should really get Faith inside.” Jamie grunts out. “It is a school night after all.”

“I only need five minutes of your time, Jamie. Please.”

“Fine.” Is all Jamie says before turning to let Claire and I inside before him.

“Away fer your shower, lass and get ready for bed.” Jamie tells me.

I see Claire look down at her watch and then turn to Jamie. “It’s not even twenty past eight.” She informs him with a frown.

“I’m well aware of the time, Sassenach.” Jamie responds impatiently before turning to me. “Off ye go then, a leannan. I’ll get the board set up.” The difference in Jamie’s tone of voice when he speak to Claire and I is unreal. I’ve never heard Jamie so unpolite before. This isna like him at all. Whatever Claire said to him earlier hurt him deeper than I originally thought.

As much as I can understand how Claire feels, I can’t help but want to stick around so she doesn’t hurt Jamie again. Like she told me, Jamie has been hurt just as much as us. Well, not the same, but he was still bullied and controlled into making his decisions.

“I can set up the game while ye talk.” I suggested, but Jamie insisted I go and get ready for bed.

When I mounted the stairs, I stood at the top to try and listen down. I prefer to shower in the morning before school, so I only really need to change in to my pyjamas. Jamie invites Claire through to the conservatory. He probably guessed I was trying to listen down to their conversation. 

I run down the hallway to my bedroom and get changed as quickly as possible before descending the stairs and making my way to the kitchen, “innocently” making myself and Jamie some hot chocolates to go wi’ our Tuesday night game of chess.

Unfortunately, Jamie has closed over the doors in to the conservatory, so I can’t really hear what all is being said. One thing is for sure though, they dinna seem to be arguing.

Not long after the hot chocolates are ready, Claire and Jamie come back through to the kitchen.

“Thanks again, Jamie. You have no idea how much that means to me.” I hear Claire say to Jamie as they come through to the kitchen.

“I think I ken fine. It means a lot to me too, Claire.” Jamie replies.

“What’s happening?” I ask. 

It’s clear neither of them actually noticed my presence here in the kitchen, because they both jump in surprise at my question.

“I thought you were in the shower?” Jamie asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “Prefer to shower in the morning, ye ken that fine.” I tell him. “So... what means a lot to ye both?”

“The fact that both of us get to spend your birthday with you this year.” Claire announces brightly.

“Jamie always celebrates wi’ me.” I say.

“Aye, but it’s different this year. Claire’s here too.” He says wi’ a soft smile.

“But Ellen isna. And as much as I hate what happened, I still wish she were here. I wish Julia could be wi’ me too.” I sigh.

“We ken, Faith. But, as hard as it is, your first birthday wi’out Ma bein’ here, ye’ve still got Claire and I. We’re really lookin’ forward to spendin’ the entire day wi’ ye.” Jamie smiles at me.

“I have school.” I remind him.

“Jamie says you can take the day off. Just this once though.” Claire warns. “Frank and I will come and collect you at eight thirty so the three of us can have breakfast together and get to know each other better. Then we’ll drop you off a while later so you can have lunch with Jamie while I take Frank to the airport and say goodbye.”

“Then in the afternoon,” Jamie jumps in. “you and I will meet Claire at the hospital and ye can go and visit Julia for a wee while before the three of us have dinner together and either go and see a film at the cinema, or just come back here for a quiet night in.”

“It’s your birthday, so you can decided where we go and what we do. But Jamie and I are both really happy that we get to share this day with you.” Claire tells me.

“Sounds good to me.” I tell them. “Do ye want to stay for a hot chocolate, or will Frank be waitin’ for ye?” I ask.

“Hot chocolate sounds good to me. Thank you.”

I offer Claire my own hot chocolate then get to work on making another. I tell her to help herself to the cream, marshmallows and other toppings that Jamie keeps stocked up for me.

The three of us sit down in the living room, and Claire is shocked to learn that Jamie and I play chess every Tuesday and Friday evening before bed.

“We haven’t played since Ellen’s diagnosis, but usually Jamie talks me in to a game every Tuesday and Friday night before bed. Been doin’ this since I was eight.” I roll my eyes in mock annoyance.

“Hiy.” Jamie gently taps at my hand. “Ye love chess.” He tells me.

“No.” I answer. “You love chess. I only play wi’ ye because no one else will. I dinna even understand it properly.” I giggle.

“Och, I ken that. That’s why it’s so easy for me to win all the time.” Jamie laughs. 

It’s good to see him laugh. I feel like the past couple of months has been really tough on us all wi’ Ellen’s illness. Even though it’s sad she’s no longer here, it feels good to just try and get back to how things were before. I ken my entire life is completely changed now, but sittin’ here wi’ Jamie and Claire actually feels really good. Strange, but good.

I suppose I could have done a lot worse than having Jamie and Claire as my real parents. I just worry that I get too close to Claire while she’s here, and then she leaves to go back to London. 

How will we be able to build any kind of friendship if we never see each other?


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys...
> 
> Okay, so I’m just gonna try and post the rest of this story as quickly as possible. Since I still have to edit the rest of the chapters, there will be a few days in between chapters, but it won’t be posted on set days. 
> 
> Once I’ve posted all of this fic, I’ll be taking a break from posting anything on here for a wee while.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos and support on this fic though, it really means a lot.
> 
> Kirsty X

Chapter Six

Claire’s POV

“Are you nearly ready, darling?” Frank called through from the kitchen. “I’ve made coffee. I didn’t think you would be able to wait until we got to the... where are we having breakfast?”

“Millers.” I answer on my way through from the living room. “It’s an ice cream café, but it does pretty good meals too. Their breakfast menu is actually one of the best in Inverness.” I smile up at Frank before tilting his face to the side and planting a kiss on the side of his face.

“Sounds exciting.” Frank mocks.

“Well, it is for Faith.” I tell him.

“Yes. How is the birthday girl this morning? She excited to spend the day with you?”

“Um... I’m not sure. We’ll soon find out when we pick her up from Jamie’s.” I answer.

“Haven’t you called her, or sent her a text?” Frank asks.

“Uh, no. I don’t have her mobile number.” I tell him.

“Why not?”

“I just don’t. She never offered it, and I never asked.” I shrug.

“Well, you should. She is your daughter, Claire. How are you supposed to build a relationship with the girl if you can’t contact her? We don’t exactly live around the corner, do we?”

“I know that. I just... feel a bit silly asking her for it.”

“Maybe she feels the same. Did you think about that? Trust me, darling, ask her for her number.” Frank kisses my forehead before handing me a mug of steaming hot black coffee.

Perfect.

It’s Frank that drives us over to Jamie’s to collect Faith because I’m too anxious to drive. The entire way there, my leg bounces up and down nervously. Frank can’t help but laugh at me. 

“Calm down, Claire. It’s all going to be fine. I promise.”

“I know.” I tell him. “It’s just... she’s my little girl Frank, and the first birthday I get to celebrate with her is her thirteenth. She’s a bloody teenager, and I’ve missed everything!”

“But not any more. You’re here now, and your determined to make things right with her, right?”

“Of course.”

“Good. So stop worrying. It will all work out, I promise.”

Before I get a chance to jump out of the car to go to the door for Faith, Frank surprises me. 

“Don’t you think we should invite Jamie?”

“Uh, no. Why would we do that? This is our time with Faith. Jamie will spend time with her when I take you to the airport. Anyway, he’s had thirteen years with her. Well, twelve I suppose, but still. That’s twelve more years than I got.” I tell him firmly.

Frank holds up his hands in defence. “Alright. It was only a suggestion.”

“And I get that, and I love that you’re doing whatever you can to make Faith feel welcome in our little family, but it’s just... it’s Jamie. I just don’t want him thinking that he can do what he did for all those years and then just play happy families with us all as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t destroy me.

“I will put my feelings to the side when I’m around Faith, of course I will, but the less time I have to spend with Jamie Fraser the better. Alright?”

“Alright. You better go and get the birthday girl.” Frank smiles at me.

“Yes. But, um...”

“What is it, darling?” Frank asks me.

“Well, it’s just... the other night, you referred to me as Faith’s Mum.” Frank nods. “Well, she didn’t say anything, but I know she’s not really ready for that right now. As much as I would love to build a real mother daughter relationship with her, she just lost Ellen. I think it’s just a bit too soon to refer to me as her Mum. Right now, I just want to get to know her and make sure she’s comfortable enough to be my friend.” I tell him.

“That’s understandable. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, or you. It’s just... she looks so much like you, Claire. It’s hard to look at her and not think of her as yours. She is yours. 

“I’m fairly certain that in time, you and Faith will be able to build a beautiful mother daughter relationship. Just like you always deserved.”

“Thank you.” I smile. “I really do hope so.” I tell him honestly.

As soon as Faith jumps in to the back of the car, she thanks Frank for wanting to join in on her birthday and inviting her out to breakfast with us. To be honest, I was a little concerned as to how Faith would react to Frank being part of my life, but she hasn’t bat an eyelid. But then, she knows and understands that I’ve been gone for such a long time and I’ve made a life for myself down south. I’m sure she’ll be used to Jamie dating. He hasn’t mentioned a partner, but I’m fairly certain that a man like Jamie Fraser doesn’t stay single for long. I’m just happy that Faith is open to the idea of getting to know Frank as well as me.

As soon as we arrive at Millers, Faith makes a beeline to the booth we occupied the last time we were here together. The night I found out she was my long lost daughter.   
I stand in the middle of the floor, surrounded by diner tables and chairs, just watching her. 

How the hell did I not see it straight away? She’s so much like me. So much like him.

“You coming, darling?” Frank’s asks as he brings me out of my thoughts. I nod my head, but don’t say anything. 

Frank and I reach the booth and Frank let’s me slide in before him. I’m sat directly across from Faith. I pass over a menu to Frank and then offer one to Faith when I notice she doesn’t pick one up herself. She turns it down though and says she knows what she’s having. Apparently she always has the same thing when she has breakfast here with her friends Marsali and Lizzie.

“Well, I always have a stack of pancakes with loads of golden syrup, some marshmallows and chocolate chips. Sometimes add a wee bit of mixed berries so it doesn’t look too bad.” She chuckles.

“Can’t image Jamie approving that.” I say with a raised brow. The boy I knew always tried his best to eat as clean and healthy as possible.

“That’s why I can only get away wi’ it when he isna here wi’ me. If he does join me, which is verra rarely, I have porridge topped wi’ fruit. But since that’s what I usually have for breakfast at home, that or poached eggs wi’ avocado toast, I like to have a treat now and again when Jamie isna about to make me feel guilty over it.” She tells us with a sparkle in my eye that tells me just how much she loves and adores Jamie, but she likes to rebel against him now and again.

I feel an instant stab of jealousy hit me when I hear her speak of her relationship with him. Faith might have grown up her entire life thinking Jamie was her brother, but from the way she speaks of him, it’s clear he’s tried to involve himself in as much of her life as he could. Not that I blame him. If I had of stuck around Inverness and not moved down south, I would have done exactly the same. Even if Faith never knew I was her mother, I would have done whatever it took to be part of this girls life.

“Well, it’s a good job Jamie isn’t here then, isn’t it?” Frank laughs. “I think I’ll join the birthday girl in a stack of pancakes, but I think I’ll stick to maple syrup and no added extras.” 

“Pancakes all round it is then.” I smile brightly at Faith.

After a delicious breakfast in Millers, we decide to take a walk along the river before heading to a couple of shops with Faith. As much as I wanted to buy her a gift and have her open it at breakfast, I couldn’t because I was unsure of what to get her. Frank suggested we take her shopping and let her pick out whatever she wanted. I felt a little like it was cheating, but there was no other option. I couldn’t exactly ask Mum what I should buy Faith, and turning to Jamie was a no go for me. But as Frank said, this would give me an opportunity to get to know more about Faith and spend some more quality time with her.

Faith ended up asking for a new sketch pad at only four pounds. 

“And what else?” I asked, but she insisted she didn’t need anything else. “I’m not asking what you need, Faith, I’m asking you what you want.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I dinna ken. Just the sketch pad.”

“What about some pencils? Or paints?” Frank asked. “Is it just drawings you enjoy doing, or do you like painting as well?”

“Just drawing, but I have everything I need at home, I just need a new pad.” Faith answered.

“It’s like drawing teeth.” I say under my breath to Frank and he chuckles.

We end up just buying her the sketch pad she asked for, but both Frank and I keep an eye out to see what kind of things she’s drawn to. Both Frank and I get the impression she isn’t comfortable asking for anything. She wouldn’t have even mentioned the bloody sketch pad if Frank hadn’t kept asking her if she saw anything she wanted.

On the walk back to the car, Faith stops outside a shop and looks through the window. Somethings caught her eye, but I’m unsure what. I take a look above the window to see the name of the shop. It’s a sports shop.

“Do you want to go inside?” Frank’s comes up beside Faith and asks her.

She shakes her head. “No, it’s okay thanks. I’ll tell Jamie there’s a sale on later.”

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” I ask her. “Is there nothing there you might like?”

Just before Faith gets a chance to answer, a young man with an unusual accent steps outside and greets her with a hug.

“Happy Birthday, Faith. You enjoying your day so far?” The young man asks her.

“Aye. Claire and Frank here kindly took me to breakfast at Millers. We’re just heading home now. Jamie’s decided to make me somethin’ special for lunch. Probably a bowl of soup and some fancy gluten free bread that tastes yuck!” She chuckles.

“Sounds about right.” The lad says with a laugh of his own. He then turns to Frank and sticks out his hand for Frank to take. “Hello there. I’m Fergus. I’m a good friend of Faith’s brother Jamie.” Frank shakes the Fergus’ hand and then introduces us both to the man.

“Well, since you’re here, I can give you your present now instead of waiting until the weekend.” Fergus tells Faith.

“Ye didn’t need to get me anythin’, Fergus.” Faith groaned and I was beginning to think she didn’t like accepting presents from people on her birthday.

Fergus lifts a shoulder and drops it just as quick. “We’ve also got a sale on just now. Up to fifty percent off until the end of next week. Make sure to let Jamie know so he can spoil you if he hasn’t done so already.”

The three of us follow Fergus in to the sports shop and Frank and I have a little browse while Faith goes off with Fergus to collect her gift. 

“Fergus! It’s amazin’! Ye didn’t need to do that!” Frank and I could hear Faith screech in excitement.

“You like it then?” Fergus replied.

“I love it. Thank you so much. Jamie is gonna be super jealous when he see’s this.”

Faith comes bounding down the middle of the store towards Frank and I with some kind of stick in hand.

“Look what Fergus got me.” She holds out the stick for Frank and I to see.

“Oh wow.” I say.

“So, you play hockey then?” Frank’s asks Faith and she rolls her eyes and laughs.

“No silly. I play shinty. It’s a shinty stick.” She corrects him. “Look, it’s signed by Phaedre Cameron.” Faith points out excitedly. “She’s my favourite shinty player. I hope to be as good as her one day.”

“You already are.” Fergus laughs. “Anyway, it was lovely to meet you Claire, Frank, but I must get back to work. Tell Jamie about the sale and I’ll see you at the weekend.” 

Before Fergus moves away from us, Faith throws her arms around the man’s neck and thanks him again for her wonderful present.

We get a few steps down the road when I urge Frank to take Faith on to the car and tell them I’ll meet them there soon. Once they start to walk on a bit, I turn back and head in to the sports shop again to find Fergus.

He’s a really good help and helps me to pick out an over the head hoodie for Faith. It’s a navy hoodie with a zipper from the chest up.

“She’s been wanting this one for a while, but her mother told her to wait until her birthday because it was one of the more expensive ones. Faith accepted that, but unfortunately Ellen passed before she was able to come back and get it.” Fergus informs me as he folds the hoodie up to put it in my shopping bag.

“Won’t she find it upsetting if it comes from me when Ellen was supposed to buy it for her birthday?” I enquire.

“No.” Fergus laughs. “I saw her looking at it through the window. She was probably trying to work out if she could persuade Jamie to buy it for her as well as all the other things she’s been wanting. 

“All her friends in her team have this exact hoodie, but it is quite expensive. That’s why Ellen wanted her to hold off until her birthday. Trust me, she’ll just be over the moon that she can finally wear the same hoodie to practice as the other girls. She’ll love it.” Fergus assures me.

He mentioned something about Faith would probably try and persuade Jamie to buy her the hoodie along with other things. I ask him to point out these other things so I can just get it all together. I’ve missed twelve previous birthdays, as well as christmases. I know buying Faith loads of stuff doesn’t make up for any of that, but I want her to know that if there’s something she needs, she can always ask me. Especially these types of things. The kit bag and the tape that Fergus points out to me are things that Faith is desperately needing for her shinty games. I don’t hesitate in purchasing exactly what she needs. Shinty is obviously an important sport to her. I want to support her in that in any way I can. 

When I catch up to Frank and Faith at the car, they’re both stood outside laughing and chatting away. It makes my heart melt to see them getting along so well. Frank has been really supportive about my getting to know Faith. Not that I ever doubted he would be. But as I watch them now, they just seem so at ease with one another. It’s just all so natural in a way.

“Right,” I say as I step over towards them. “We ready to go? I’ll need to get Frank to the airport soon, and I promised Jamie I would have you back home by twelve.” I remind Faith.

“Of course.” Faith responds to me before turning back to Frank. “I really wish ye didn’t have to go home so soon. I really enjoyed this mornin’.”

“Ah, I wish I didn’t have to leave so soon either, but I can’t take any more time of work. At least Claire and I were able to get quite a bit done to the house for Julia coming home. I just wish I had more time to get to know you.” Frank says to Faith.

“Will ye be able to come back soon?” Faith asks him excitedly.

“Hopefully. Depending on when your Mu—“ Frank manages to stop himself, but Faith and I both know what he was about to say. “Claire.” He corrects. “Depending on how Julia settles in at home and when Claire can return. If Claire is still needed here next weekend, I’ll fly back up on the Friday after work and head back home on Sunday evening.”

“Not very ideal though, is it?” Faith says as she climbs in to the back of the car.

Once Frank jumps in to the passenger seat in the front, he turns his head to the back to answer Faith. “Not really.” He laughs. “But needs must. Julia has been a wonderful support to Claire and I these last few years, it’s only right we support her when she needs us too. I only wish there was more I could do to help. The fact we’re not exactly around the corner doesn’t really help matters.”

“If Claire is still here next weekend, will ye have time to hang out for a bit when ye come? Even just a game at the bowling alley or somethin’?” Faith suggests, and I can’t help but let out a giggle.

“Frank doesn’t do bowling, Faith.” I tell her.

Faith turns her head back to Frank with an expression of mock disgust on her face. “Ugh, seriously? Bowling is the BEST! Well, except for shinty.”

Frank laughs too. “While bowling isn’t usually my idea of fun, if it’s something you would enjoy doing, I’m more than happy to come along.” Frank tells her.

Faith sits back in her seat with a big smile plastered across her face. Her and Frank really do get along so well.

When we arrive back at Jamie’s, I ask Faith to hold on just a few moments. I pull out my shopping bag from the boot of the car, and pass it over to Faith. 

“Happy Birthday, sweetheart. I know it isn’t wrapped, but I hope you like them. If you don’t, I’m sure we could see about exchanging them.”

Her slanted golden amber eyes grow wide with excitement when she pulls out the hoodie first. 

“H-how... how did ye ken?” Faith asks, but her voice is so small, it comes out barely louder than a whisper.

“Well, I knew something must have caught your eye through the window, so I went back and asked for Fergus’ help. He said Ellen was planning on getting you the hoodie for your birthday, but... I hope I haven’t overstepped?”

Faith puts the hoodie and the bag back in the boot and throws her arms around my neck to hug me.

“Thank ye, Claire. Ye’ve no idea how much this means to me.” Faith tells me.

“Oh, I have a fair idea.” I chuckle when she steps back out of my arms. She then turns to Frank and hugs him too. 

“Did ye ken that’s what she was doin’?” She asks Frank.

He smiles fondly at her. “She might have sent me a message to say she had found some things you may like.”

“I love it, thank you.” She says again. She turns back to the car boot and picks up the bag to see what else is inside. “I needed these.” She says about the tapes with much excitement. “I was gonna ask Jamie to get me some.”

“Well, now you don’t have to.” I tell her.

“What’s that?” Faith asks as she spies the kit bag pushed away to the back. This is what I feared she might have spotted on my way towards the car, but she must have been too engrossed in her conversation with Frank that she didn’t even notice.

“Well, why don’t you have a look and see.” I tell her.

Faith pulls the kit bag towards her and says it feels heavy. I just nod my head. Frank comes to stand beside me and puts his arm around my waist to pull me closer to him. We watch happily as Faith opens the kit bag and begins to squeal, and I mean really squeal in excitement.

“Alright, calm down, darling.” Frank tells her with a chuckle.

“Is it alright? We can return what you don’t like.” I assure her. 

Again, Faith throws her arms around me to hug me again before pulling Frank in for a group hug. 

“It’s too much, I canna accept it.” She says.

Frank and I both shake our heads because she’s speaking nonsense. “This is what you wanted.” I pointed to the hoodie. “This is what you needed.” I point to the other things I purchased for her. “Jamie isn’t the only one here that you should turn to when you need things, alright? You call me or Frank anytime you need something. Whether it be clothes, things for your activities, even school supplies. Anything.” I tell her.

“But... I canna just—“

“Yes, you can. I mean it, Faith. Anything.”

“What’s goin’ on? I could hear ye screechin’ fae the back of the house.” Out of nowhere, Jamie creeps up behind us. 

I jump at his sudden presence and slap his arm. “You almost gave me a heart attack.” I tell him. He doesn’t answer, just keeps his focus firmly on Frank. 

Great. It’s been such a wonderful morning, I don’t want Jamie to ruin things now.

“Look what Claire and Frank got me for my birthday, Jamie.” Faith pulls him over to have a look at all the goodies.

“That’s far too much.” Jamie grunts. “Ye shouldna have done that, Claire.”

“Why not? She needs a new stick for shinty. Fergus informed me that she’s starting to out grow her old one. He also said she needed the tapes, and her old kit bag has a huge hole at the side. And the hoodie, well she was eyeing it up from outside. She’s wanted it for a while. All her friends have one.

“It’s the first time I’ve been able to buy her anything for her birthday. She refused to offer up any kind of information on what she would like as a gift except a damn sketch book. When I saw that young man in the sports shop knew her quite well, I took the opportunity to ask his advice.”

“It’s too much, Claire.” Jamie grunts out at me again. “It must have cost ye a fortune for all this.”

“That doesn’t matter.” I tell him.

“Faith, sweetheart.” I say to her. “Why don’t you take your things inside. Jamie will be along in a moment and I’ll see you in a while, alright?” The poor girl looks scared to say anything as she looks between Jamie and I and then nods her head in agreement. 

She grabs all her new gifts, including the signed shinty stick from Fergus that she plans to guard with her life, and makes her way over to Frank.

“It was really nice to see ye again. Thank ye again for the presents and breakfast. Hopefully I’ll see ye again soon.”

“I’m sure you will. See you soon, Faith. And enjoy the rest of your day.” Frank responds. From the corner of my eye, I can see Jamie doesn’t like this exchange between them at all.

“Bye, Frank.” Faith says before she starts to walk away.

“It’s Mr Randall.” Jamie bites out. I roll my eyes at his ridiculous jealous behaviour.

What Faith says next shocks all three of us... “He’s practically my step Dad, I think I can call him Frank.” Faith doesn’t wait for a response from any of us before she steps inside the house.

I look over at Jamie not knowing what to say. He clenches his jaw in anger, and I know how hurt he must feel about that comment. Faith hasn’t really acknowledged the fact Jamie and I are her parents. I mean, she has, but she still see’s Jamie as her brother, not her father. So the fact she just referred to Frank as her step Dad must be a kick in the teeth. 

Before I can find the right words to speak, Jamie grunts that he’ll see me later before trudging on in to the house behind Faith.

Great. Could that have gone any worse? I doubt it.

“Are you alright, darling?” Frank asks as we wait for him to check in at the airport.

“Yes.” I answer quietly. My mind is still thinking about how quickly Faith has come to accept Frank. 

“Are you angry about what Faith said?” Frank doesn’t have to say it, I know what he’s talking about.

“No.” I answer honestly. “It’s just... she still thinks of Jamie as her brother, so I can understand why he was so hurt by her comment. She doesn’t see me as her mother either, not that I blame her. We’re strangers to one another. She’s only just lost the only mother she ever knew. I just wish things weren’t so bloody complicated.”

Frank pulls me in closer to his side and places a light kiss at my temple before moving too stand right in front of me. He lifts my chin up with his index finger so that I look at him properly.

“I think both you and Jamie are wrong, you know?”

“How do you work that out?” I ask defensively.

“Faith referred to me as her step father, Claire. I didn’t ask her to. You didn’t ask her to, she just did. I’m your partner Claire. She may not outright call you Mum, or Jamie her father, but don’t you understand that she does feel that? Why would she refer to me as her step father if she didn’t think of you as her mother?” I can kind of understand where Frank’s coming from, but I’m still not completely convinced.

Frank and I say our goodbyes before he takes off to catch his flight. On my way back to the car, his words repeat over and over in my head. Maybe she is warming to the idea of Jamie and I being her parents. I mean, she always knew she was adopted, she just never knew who her real parents were. She hasn’t pushed me away. That’s something, right?

I make my way back to the house and finish of some housework and ironing before making myself a quick sandwich for lunch. I’m not overly hungry after the delicious pancake stack at breakfast, but who knows when we’ll be eating dinner tonight or what we’ll be having. Jamie and I both told Faith it was entirely up to her how we celebrated today. Something she was taking very seriously. She’s been changing her mind all morning about whether she wants to go to the cinema, or stay at home. Go to the pub for a meal, or just get a take away. She definitely gets her indecisiveness from me. I’m exactly the same when it comes to little decision like this. Serious decisions though, I try to make up my mind and stick to it. 

Once the house is all sorted, and my stomach is full, I sort out what I need to take up to the hospital for Mum. Including Faith’s birthday present. Apparently Mum’s had it bought and wrapped for a good couple of months. 

The plan is to have her home tomorrow now that the house is sorted. She’s been doing really well with her therapies in hospital. I just hope she keeps it up when she comes home. I know a few patients that lose interest when they return home, especially those who live alone. Just another fear I have for when I return South. 

For the first time in thirteen years, I feel like I should be here. There is so much to keep me here right now. Mum being one of the reasons, but so is Faith. I have a job that I love though. Of course I could look for something here in Inverness, and that would mean I would be here to help care for Mum, and have a real chance to build my relationship with Faith. I’m not that certain that Frank would want to move to Scotland. As much as he’s enjoyed being here and spending time with both Mum and Faith, I can’t see him wanting to uproot his entire life just for me. I try my best not to overthink things. It isn’t like I’m leaving Inverness as soon as Mum gets home. I have time with her. And Faith. Frank has even booked his flights for next weekend so he can come back for another visit. 

I’m only in the room with Mum for about ten minutes before Faith appears sheepishly at the door.

“Where’s Jamie?” Mum asks when she notices Faith by herself. “Claire said he was bringing you by.”

“He’s away for a coffee. Said we could get him down in the cafeteria when we’re ready, but there’s no rush.” Faith answers as she steps inside the room.

“Nonsense.” Mum says firmly. “Claire, go and get Jamie. Tell him I want to see him too.”

I don’t argue, I just do as Mum asks and make my way down to the canteen to find Jamie. Not before I make sure Faith is comfortable staying with Mum on her own. She seems fine though.

I find Jamie exactly where Faith said I would. It takes me a while, but I finally persuade him to come up to Mum’s room with me. I can tell he’s uncomfortable, but I’m unsure if it’s because of earlier today, or because he’s about to sit in a room with Faith, Mum and I. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how much Jamie and Mum have had to do with one another since I left. I know Mum and Ellen remained close, and Mum’s been present in Faith’s life, but I don’t actually know when the last time Mum and Jamie had a proper conversation. I want to ask him, but we seem to have reached Mums room quicker than I thought. We’ve both been silent the entire walk up here.

I open the door and tell Jamie to go on in, but he insists I go first. I give him a small smile to try and reassure him that everything will be alright, but he doesn’t react.

“Ah, here he is.” Mum reaches out for Jamie’s hand as soon as she see’s him. He takes it and gives it a small squeeze before bending down to give her a kiss hello on the cheek. “Now, how are you doing? I know Jenny and Will have gone home now, so I hope you two are taking good care of one another.” Mum says to both Jamie and Faith.

“Aye, we’re gettin’ on fine. Aren’t we lass?” Jamie responds to Mum, and Faith nods her head with a smile. “But how are you? Faith tells me ye’re gettin’ home tomorrow, that’s great news Julia.” Jamie says as he sits down on one of the visitor chairs next to Mums bed. 

Faith moves over to the one I sit on and squeezes in beside me. I don’t miss the look on Jamie’s face when he see’s Faith sit down beside me. I definitely don’t miss the small tug of his upper lip as if he’s trying his best not to smile. Maybe he isn’t in such a terrible mood after all?

“Well, if everything goes to plan, I should be allowed home tomorrow morning. I dread to think what my house looks like now.” Mum says with a roll of her eyes. I have to smile because she reminds me so much of Faith in that moment. I think Jamie notices it too because his gaze turns right back to Faith and I.

“Your house had been adapted so that it’s practical for you to get around.” I tell her. “You may be feeling better than you were a few weeks ago, but you’ve still got a long way to go in your recovery.”

“Anyway,” mum says as a way to change the subject. “Could you pass me a pen please dear?” Mum asks me. I look at her in confusion. “It’s so I can write the label on Faith’s present.” Mum explains. 

“You don’t have to do that, Mum. She knows it’s from you.”

“I know, but I want to. Please, Claire. Just... pass me the pen. I need to practice my writing anyway, so you keep telling me.” She has me there. I pick up my bag and dig around until I find a pen and pass it over to her, as well as the wrapped gift I brought from home. As I pass it over, I realise there is no label on the gift. As if she knows I’m about to point that out, she pulls out a small wrapped gift from her locker. There is a plain label on that one.

Mum takes her time to write out a message to Faith. When I see her getting tired, I offer to help, but she bites my head off and insists she’s fine.

When she’s finished, she passes the first gift over to Faith. “Here you go, darling. Happy Birthday.” Mum smiles lovingly at Faith.

Faith moves to sit on the bed and takes the present from Mum. “Thank ye, Julia.”

“Oh, don’t thank me yet, you haven’t seen what it is yet.” Mum laughs.

Faith rips open the present and smiles immediately at whatever is inside. “Oh. My. God. Thank ye so much. I canna believe ye remembered.” Faith inches forward to gently hug Mum. “We read this in English before the Christmas break last year. It’s called “The Outsiders”. I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for it.” She explains to me.

“So you like it then?” Mum asks her.

“I love it. Thank ye.” Faith reaches in for another hug.

Mum then hands over the mystery present that I didn’t know about. Faith looks at the label and I watch as her nose scrunches up. I assume she’s struggling to make out Mum’s writing. It certainly isn’t as neat as what it was before the stroke, but she’s trying.

Faith just stares at the label, but she makes no attempt to actually open the present. 

“Ye okay, lass?” Jamie asks her gently as he reaches out to move his hand up and down her back in comfort. She doesn’t answer, just nods her head slowly before opening the gift.

She pulls out a medium sized box that looks like it’s come from a jewellers. Faith slowly opens up the box and I spot a beautiful silver bracelet inside. From where I’m sat, I can’t get a proper look at it, but I’m sure it’s perfect.

“There are four birth stones in the charms.” Mum explains. She looks... nervous now. “Emerald is yours. Ruby was Ellen’s. Sapphire is mine. And Rose Quartz is your Mum’s.”

My eyes snap over to Mum immediately. What the hell is she doing? As if she can read my thoughts, Mum clears her throat to speak, but Faith throws herself forward to give Mum another hug. “Thank ye, Gran.” Faith says as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

Jamie and I lock eyes for a moment as we both try to process what the hell just happened. Jamie picks up the wrapping paper from the bed and looks at it. His brows furrow as he concentrates on reading the label before handing it over to me.

Happy Birthday, my darling Faith.  
Lots of love, Gran. Xx

“H-how... How did ye ken she knew?” Jamie stumbles out.

“Ellen told me she wanted to come clean before...” Mum trails off as she fidgets with the blanket covering her lap. “I didn’t know if she got round to it or not. But then all of a sudden Claire was back home, and Faith just wasn’t the same when she came to visit me. I knew something had to be wrong. I’ve seen the way Claire looks at Faith and vice versa... I suspected they had to know the truth. I just wasn’t sure how.

“All I can do is apologise for my part in this, but today really isn’t the time to talk about it.” She says. “The three of you need to go now. You two need to take your little girl out and celebrate her special day.” 

“Mum—“

“Please don’t, Claire. You can scream and yell at me tomorrow, but today is about your daughter celebrating her birthday.”

“There’ll be no screaming and yelling. What’s done is done. Cant we just move forward wi’out all the friction between ye’s all?” Faith pleads.

I reach my hand out and move my thumb across her cheek. “Of course.” I tell her, but I’m fairly certain both Mum and Jamie know I don’t mean it. As much as I don’t want to confront my Mum about this, I need to know why she kept my daughter from me. Faith doesn’t need to know how much anger I still have bottled up inside of me though.

Faith smiles at me before jumping off the bed and bending forward to kiss Mum’s cheek. “Thank ye for the gifts, especially the bracelet. I love it.”

“I’m glad, darling. Have a good day with your parents and I’ll see you soon, alright?”

Jamie and Faith leave Mum and I alone in the room for a few moments before I follow them out. “I deserve answers.” I grit out at Mum.

“And you’ll get them.” She promises. “Go and enjoy your day with your baby girl.”

“She’s not exactly a baby anymore, is she? She’s just bloody turned thirteen years old. She’s a teenager. 

“I’ve missed so much of her life because you decided to lie to me.” I don’t wait for Mum to respond. I turn to open the door and tell her I’ll be by in the morning to collect her when she’s ready to come home before walking out to catch up with Jamie and our daughter.

I wasn’t planning on having this kind of discussion with Mum so soon, but since she knows that Faith and I know the truth, there’s no point in pretending like everything is alright when it isn’t.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... sorry I haven’t managed to respond to all the comments from the last chapter, but just been busy getting all my stuff moved over to my parents house. It’s been a hectic few days... but I got there haha. 
> 
> But thank you all so much for taking the time to read this wee story. I really appreciate it.
> 
> I was hoping to have this chapter up on Saturday, but time just got away from me. Anyway... hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Kirsty X

Chapter Seven

Jamie’s POV

When I saw Faith reading the label on the present Julia gifted her, I could see the confusion written all over her face. She didna speak when I asked if she was okay, but she nodded her head and proceeded to open the present. 

I’m no a man that kens all that much about about jewellery, but even I could tell the silver charm bracelet that Julia bought for Faith was verra precious. And expensive. It isna unusual for Julia to spoil Faith. I think myself and my mother had been guilty of that too, but I could just tell there was somethin’ different about this gift.

And then... Julia announced that the four charms had a birthstone. Faith’s birthstone, Ma’s birthstone, and even her own. It wasna the fact that she mentioned Claire’s birthstone was on one of the charms too that caught me off guard, but it was the wording she used, “...and Rose Quartz is your Mum’s”. Julia had actually just said aloud that Claire was Faith’s biological mother.

When Faith leapt forward on the bed and wrapped Julia in gentle hug to thank her for the beautiful gift, the lass called her “Gran”, not Julia. Julia never even blinked, she just smiled and kept my daughter close to her.

My eyes travelled over to Claire to gauge her reaction. She seemed just as shocked as I. I reluctantly tore my eyes away from Claire to pick up the discarded wrapping paper on the bed. I smoothed it out and read the label that Julia had written just moments before.

Happy Birthday, my darling Faith.  
Lots of love, Gran. Xx

I passed the slightly crumpled paper over to Claire for her to see what I had. What Faith had. Julia knew that Faith and Claire now knew the truth, I just didna ken how.

Claire and I both tried to ask Julia, but she insisted that we both take Faith and spend the rest of her birthday havin’ fun as a family should. 

And we did.

After we left the hospital, the three of us climbed in to my car and we drove over to the cinema so Faith could have a look and see what she wanted to watch. Most teenagers nowadays search cinema listings on an app on their phone, not Faith though. She always insists that part of the experience of going to the cinema is going to check the board to see what’s on at what time.

Apparently the cinema was doing a screening of “Grease”. It’s a film Faith and I have watched together a few times over the years, but she thought this would be a wonderful experience seeing it in the cinema. I kent it wasna really Claire’s thing, she never really was a big fan of musicals, so tried to talk Faith in to choosing something else. Claire pulled me aside and said it was fine and she was happy to go along wi’ what Faith had chosen. So that’s what we did. The three of us went out to dinner at Italian restaurant across the street before watching the movie at eight o’clock.

Faith was shattered by the time we got home later on that night, but she kept telling both Claire and I how much she enjoyed her day. It was clear the signed shinty stick she got from Fergus was her favourite, closely followed by the bracelet Julia gave her. She really loved the gifts Claire and her partner gave her, but I’m more than certain that Faith felt the best gift was getting to spend the day wi’ Claire. 

On more than one occasion as the lass was growing up, she confided in me that she always felt there was something missing from her life. Like there was a massive hole, and no matter what she did, she couldna fill the empty space. Judging by how happy the lass has been since Claire has been around, I’d say that hole is slowly starting to close up.

The next couple of days were pretty quiet for Faith and I. She went back to school the day after her birthday, and I spent the day working. Then over the weekend, Faith had a “meeting” to attend to discuss the whole afternoon tea thing for her year. I did offer to go along wi’ her to the tea so she didna miss out, but she kindly declined again. I think she has plans to ask Claire. I’m sure Claire wilna turn her down. She’s just as keen to spend time wi’ the lass as she is wi’ her.

We havena seen Claire much since Faith’s birthday due to Julia getting home. She has called a couple of times though, and Faith has been messaging her quite a bit too.

It warms my heart to no end to see the relationship blossom between Claire and Faith. I only wish it didna have to be so complicated. I’ll never forgive myself for not standing up to our fathers all them years ago. I was a coward, and thanks to that, I not only lost our daughter and the chance to be a proper father to her, but I lost Claire too. It’s some small blessing that I got to be a part of Faith’s life as she grew up, but I still lost the only woman I’ve ever loved. The only woman I will ever love.

I ken there’s no way back for Claire and I. I hurt her worse than I thought was ever possible. I dinna blame her for taking off and tryin’ to build a new life for herself away from every one of us that let her down. As much as it pained me to see her practically on my doorstep last week wi’ her arms wrapped around another man, I have no right to be hurt or jealous. Claire’s moved on. Has a man in her life that’s able to make her happier than I ever could. It doesna make it easy though. Especially when Faith seems to get on wi’ the man so well too. I even heard her on the phone to this Frank guy the other night. I should be happy that Claire’s partner is so supportive and interested in getting to build some kind of relationship wi’ Faith too, but I’m not.

The lass has referred to him as her step father on more than one occasion. As well as Faith and I seem to be getting on now, I feel like she still see’s me as her older brother. It’s what I expected anyway, but the more I see how happy she is when she speaks to Claire, and even this Frank guy, I canna help but fear that she sees them as her family. Like the mother and father she should have always had. Maybe I’m just bein’ paranoid, but the fear of them takin’ my daughter away from me scares the hell out of me. 

“Claire just text me. She’s takin’ me out for breakfast today before school. Do ye want to come too?” Faith asks as I pour us both a glass of water.

“Um, no thanks. If I get to work earlier, I could hopefully be home earlier and we could hang out?”

“Sorry, I have netball after school. I was gonna go and see Gran after that, see how she’s bearing up. I’ve only seen her once since she came out of hospital. And that was only for about ten minutes before she fell asleep.” Faith sighed.

“Netball?” I question. Faith used to play netball in Primary school, but when she started secondary, she decided on football and shinty.

“Aye. Lizzie asked me to go to practice tonight. I think she’s tryin’ to keep my mind busy.”

I nod my head in understanding. The lass has been through so much since Ma took no well, and I’m glad she has friends such as Lizzie and Marsali to help her through this tough time. 

At first, Faith and I feared Ma was startin’ to develop some form of dementia because of her constant mood swings and severe forgetfulness. Both her parents had dementia, but they were a lot older than Ma had been. Every time we tried to get Ma to see the doctor, she refused. It wasna until one mornin’ Ma fell in the hallway outside her bedroom. It was Faith that found her and managed to help her up. Eventually. I felt terrible because I had been out wi’ Angus and our friends the night before. I ended up stayin’ at Angus’ place instead of goin’ home. Poor Faith was in a right state when she called me to tell me what happened. Especially when Ma refused to go to the hospital.

A few weeks later, Ma had another fall. This time, I was there. I called an ambulance right away, somethin’ my Ma wasna happy about. It was durin’ her five day stay in hospital that she was diagnosed wi’ lung cancer. Along wi’ the cancer, it was determined that Ma had brain hypoxia. It was that that was causing her forgetfulness.

She wasna home two days and she was back in hospital again, only that time, she never came home. Ma had decided she didna want any kind of treatment to help her get better. Said she had lived her life, but now it was time for her to reunite wi’ Da. It was hard to accept her decision. Especially for Faith. She’s only a child, and she was about to lose the only mother she’d ever known. 

“Well I’m glad ye’ve got such good friends around ye, a leannan.” I tell her, then pause for a moment. “D-do Lizzie and Marsali ken about... Well... Did ye tell them that I’m...” I canna seem to get my words out, scared that she won’t react well to what I’m tryin’ to say. It’s only the lass stood right in front of me and her mother that can turn me in to bumbling mess.

“Have I told them that you’re actually my father, and not my brother as I was raised to believe?” She asks wi’ a small smirk. I nod my head once. “Aye, I told Lizzie as soon as I found out the truth. I only told Marsali after I found out about Claire though. Dinna fash, they won’t tell anyone. I made them both promise.”

“I just didna think ye would want anyone to know.” I say quietly as I take a sip of my water.

“I didn’t. Not really, but ye were so closed off to me after I told ye what Ellen wrote... I needed someone to talk to. Jenny and I have never really had that close bond, so I felt weird talking to her about it all, and like ye said, Willie was in France, so it isna like he could tell me what all happened. I just needed—“

“Ye needed me, Faith, and I wasna there. Not for the first time either.” I admit sadly.

“Ye were in shock, we both were. And we were grieving. But we’re okay now, right?” Faith asks as she pours more flavoured water in to her wee water bottle.

“Are we?” I ask her, still unsure of how she really feels about the truth comin’ out.

“We’re fine, Jamie. I’ll see ye later, okay?” Faith picks up her school bag and fixes it onto her shoulders before picking up her water bottle from the kitchen island. I give her a small smile and a nod before she turns to walk away.

She calls back a few moments later to say Claire’s outside. I take a deep breath and quickly follow Faith out to Claire’s car. Just before Faith climbs in, I touch my hand to her shoulder and she turns to face me.

“I love ye, Faith. Ye ken that, right?” I question her seriously. Even if she can never see me as anythin’ more than a brother, I need her to ken I love her.

Faith smiles up at me, “Of course I ken ye love me.” She laughs. “I love you too, but I really need to go.”

I nod my head and watch her as she climbs in to the passenger side of Claire’s car. “Behave yerself, alright?” I warn her through the open window, and both she and Claire smile back at me before Claire drives off wi’ our daughter.

Work is a nightmare. Has been ever since I returned last week. I thought it would be good for Faith and I to return to our routine, but I canna help but feel like we’re just drifting further apart. She might be livin’ wi’ me, but it doesna necessarily mean we spend as much time together as I would like. She has her friends. And Claire. Even when she hasna been wi’ Claire, I ken she thinks about her. Constantly. Just another thing to steer my fear in the direction of Claire taking my daughter from me. 

I decide the best thing for me to do is to leave work early as planned, and head on over to the school. Faith said she was playin’ Netball after school, it would be good to go and see her play. I ken it’s just practice and no an actual game, but it would be good to see how the lass is actually coping at school. She says she’s fine, but she’s a teenager. They dinna always say the truth, especially if they think they need to protect someone. That’s what I think Faith’s doin’ sometimes. We are gettin’ on so much better than before, but it feels like she wants to avoid the elephant in the room sometimes and will do or say anythin’ she thinks I want to hear.

I get to the school and immediately I make my way to the main games hall in the sports building. It’s raining this afternoon, so I knew they would definitely be practicing inside. To my surprise, when I enter the main games hall, I spy Claire sat over to the right. She’s smiling as she watches Faith warm up for practice. 

I slowly make my way over to her and sink down on the empty seat beside her. 

“Didna ken you would be here.” I say.

Claire turns to look at me and smiles. “When she told me she had practice after school, I told her I used to play Netball when I was in secondary school. She invited me to come and watch practice. The coach okayed it.”

I smile back. “Aye. They dinna normally allow folks in to watch practice, especially inside, but I just spoke to Mary and she said I could stay. She thought it might be good for Faith to have me here.” I tell her.

“Mary?” She questions.

“Aye. Mary McNab. She’s the coach. She also coaches Faith’s shinty team, and the girls football team as well.”

The two of us sit in silence as we watch our daughter get ready to start practice.

Two of the girls suddenly break out in to a full blown fight. Something about one of them sleeping wi’ the others boyfriend. Christ, they canna be older than fourteen years old. Mary pauses the game so the girls can take a break and she leads the violent pair out of the games hall. The rest of the team turn to gossip about what just happened, but not Faith. She says somethin’ to Lizzie before making her way over to Claire and I.

“Seriously? This was why I stick to football and shinty. Netball lassies only want to cause drama.” Faith says wi’ a roll of her eyes. “And Alistair McMurdo isna even that good lookin’ if ye ask me.” She crosses her wee arms over her chest and collapses herself down beside me in a huff.

“Are they no a bit young to be... ken... daein’ that?” I stammer out in shock over what I had just heard. They’re practically bairns, and they’re talkin’ like that? About lads?

“They’re in the year above me.” Faith sighs.

“Aye, so they’re what, thirteen? Fourteen years of age? It’s outrageous!” I grunt. “Christ, I blame the parents.”

“Huh.”

“What?” I ask the lass. Faith is sat next to me, swinging’ her wee legs like she used to when she was wee. The side of her mouth is curled up in a smirk.

“Well... did ye blame your parents when ye started sleepin’ wi’ Claire?” I turn slightly to look at Claire. I could see Claire turn her head to try and no laugh. This isna funny though. Far from it.

“Not that it’s any of yer business,” I hiss. “but Claire and I were in a committed relationship wi’ each other. And... we were older than fourteen!”

“Barely. Ye got her pregnant when she was only sixteen.” Faith points out wi’ another wee smirk before strutting back over to Lizzie.

I sit there in utter shock. Since when did my wee lass speak like that?! It feels like just yesterday I was cradling her in my arms to try and rock her back off to sleep. Where has my wee lass gone?

“She’s a teenager, Jamie.” Claire says out of nowhere. “Kids these days know more than they should. Us included, remember?” She smiles at me.

“I dinna like the idea of her bein’ around that kind of conversation, Claire. She’s just a bairn. She’s too young to be hearin’ about lassies sleepin’ wi’ guys. Especially when they’re around the same age.” A thought suddenly crosses my mind and I run a hand over my face as I cringe.

“What is it?” Claire asks.

“I’m gonna have to talk to her about the birds and the bees, aren’t I? Christ... I dinna think am ready for that.” I admit.

Claire let’s out a small laugh. I turn to look at her in question of her find in’ this all so funny. It isna. Not one bit.

“I’m sure Ellen had that covered. She probably would have talked to her about it when she was talking to her about periods.” Claire shrugs as if it’s nothin’. 

“At twelve years old? I dinna think si’, Claire.”

“Well, I do. If it was me, that’s how I would do it.” 

I ignore Claire’s comment and keep my eyes focused on Faith as Mary comes back to resume practice.

When practice is over, I tell Faith I’ll see her at home, but she’s fairly insistent that I go and visit Julia as well.

“She’s been askin’ for ye.” She informs me.

“Fine. But we canna be hangin’ around all night, Faith. Yer Gran will still be needin’ her rest, and I need to sort us both some dinner. I’m sure ye’ll have some homework to do too, aye?”

“Fine.” She says wi’ a roll of her eyes. “I’m goin’ wi’ Claire though.” 

Of course she is.

When I arrive at Julia’s, it’s only seconds after Claire pulls in to the drive. I get out of the car and walk up the path to meet Claire and Faith at the front door.

As we walk through to the living room, we notice Julia is sound asleep on her wee armchair. I take a few moments to look at her. She’s so small and frail. She’s only been home for days, but it’s fairly obvious that she’s shrinking away to nothin’ right here at home. The stroke would have a lot to do wi’ that, but I’m fairly certain it’s more to do wi’ the stress of what happened in the past coming back to haunt us all now.

Claire had mentioned that her mother had been tryin’ to apologise to her for not tellin’ her about Faith bein’ wi’ me all this time. She claimed she thought it for the best. Apparently, both she and my mother had actually wanted me to get in contact wi’ Claire to tell her the truth, but it was our fathers that put their foot down and said no. According to Julia, my fathers reasoning was because he didna think me fit to be a father. I can tell that’s the truth. It’s somethin’ he told me over and over until I believed it to be true. And Henry... well, he didna want Claire to throw her future away and come back home to watch my parents raise our daughter. In the end, both our fathers got inside our mothers heads and they agreed that Claire wasna to find out.

Claire is still here though, but I can tell it’s a struggle for her. She isna the type of lass to walk away when her sick mother needs her most, but she feels trapped. She’s livin’ wi’ the woman that lied and kept secrets from her for twelve years. It isna something Claire is gonna forgive in a hurry. No that I blame her. 

She and I seem to be gettin’ on alright, but I ken that’s only for Faith’s sake. There is no way in this lifetime that Claire will ever forgive me, and I accept that. I just wish there was some way I could make things right for her. Her and Faith.

Faith comes to find Claire and I in the kitchen as we make some coffees.

“I dinna want to leave until I’ve spoken to her.” She announces sadly.

“Well...” Claire starts, “I have an idea. If it’s alright with Jamie?” I nod my head once for Claire to continue. “Well, why don’t you go and sit with Mum and get a start on that homework of yours? If she doesn’t wake soon, I’ll need to wake her anyway for dinner. You can both join us if you like?” Claire suggests.

“Aye, sounds good.” Faith smiles brightly before tearing off down the hall to the living room.

“I dinna want to put ye out, Claire.” I tell her honestly. I dinna want to make her uncomfortable by bein’ around her when she doesna really want me here.

“Stay.” She says simply. “Please, Jamie. I really need you to stay.”

Claire’s eyes start to well up wi’ unshed tears. I hate to see her in so much pain. There is literally nothin’ I can say or do because I am a huge reason that she’s hurting so much. I take a step forward and pull Claire in to my arms and rub a comforting hand up and down her back. To my surprise, she cuddles the side of her wee head in to my chest and wraps her arms around my waist instead of push me away. 

Nothing in my life has felt this right in thirteen years. The only exception being me holding our daughter in my arms when she needed me.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Claire.”

Claire then takes a step back from me and wipes at her eyes gently wi’ the long sleeves of her polo neck top. She doesna say anythin’ for a few moments as she busies herself around the kitchen. Something’s up, but I’m no a hundred percent sure what it’s to do wi’.

“I’m going back home tomorrow.” She announces.

“What?” I ask dumbly. I ken this is the first time I’ve seen Julia since she came home, but even I can tell that she wilna be ready for Claire to leave so soon. And Faith, she’ll be devastated when she finds out.

“Frank has this dinner meeting with some of his colleagues tomorrow night. I always attend these things if I can. I thought it would be nice for me to surprise him tomorrow night.”

“Ye only just got here Claire. Julia still needs ye. And what about Faith? She’s only just found ye. Ye’d really just walk away fae her so soon?” I dinna dare tell her that I want her to stay. I have no right to ask such of her, but Julia and Faith both need her here. And I ken for a fact she has extended leave from her job, so it isna like she really has to be back for that. She’s simply goin’ back to him. 

“I’ll only be gone a couple of days, Jamie. I am coming back. I just... I need a break.” She sighs as she falls in to a chair behind her. “There’s so much Mum wants to talk about, and as much as I want to hear it, she isn’t fit to be discussing any of this. Every time we talk about what happened with Faith... Mum has a panic attack.”

I move towards her slowly. “Christ Sassenach, I’m so sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault. It’s no ones fault. But... it does show me how much she’s hurting over everything. I don’t think I will ever forgive her completely, but her health is really deteriorating, Jamie. I don’t want to spend whatever time we have left together being angry with her all the time. It won’t be good for either of us.

“She has carers coming in twice a day at the moment. When I do leave, they’ll go up to four times a day. I think a couple of days apart would really be good for us both. Hopefully when I come back, we can start again. All of us. No more lies and secrets. No more regrets and what if’s. At the end of the day, we all have one thing in common... Faith. We all need to do whatever we can to make sure that she’s alright. We need to put her first. That means you and I getting on as best we can, and you and I both making an effort with Mum. I know I’m asking a lot Jamie, but—“

I agreed wi’out a second thought. Julia Beauchamp has always been there for me when I needed her. Ever since I was a child younger than Faith, she’s been like a second mother to me. I always kent that I could turn to her for anythin’ and she would help in any way she could. That didna change after Claire left either. Aye, our relationship changed, but I knew I could still always count on her help if needed. I didna visit her in hospital because I had my own things goin’ on after Ma passed, and then there was the whole Faith goin’ off the rails right in front of me. When I discovered Claire was back, I thought it better to stay back. It didna mean I didna think of Julia and want to help in any way I could. I just didna want to corner Claire. 

As I help Claire prepare dinner, we hear both Faith and Julia chatting away down the hall in the living room.

“They seem to get on really well, don’t they?” Claire asks me. I turn to face her and I can see the equal looks of happiness and envy on her face.

“Aye.” I sigh. “They’ve always been close them pair.” I tell her. Claire doesna answer, just gives a small nod before returning to her task of peeling the tatties. “Ye ken... she’s told Faith about ye. Over the years, I mean. Boasted wi’ pride about ye bein’ a doctor down South and how proud of ye she was. Yer mother never really talked about ye around me, but I ken she told Faith a fair bit about ye. I had always just assumed ye went on to be a surgeon like ye always planned to be.”

“Plans change sometimes, Jamie.” Claire said wi’ a small smirk. “I... um... changed my mind towards the end of medical school. I decided I wanted to work with children more instead of adults.” She pauses for a few bests before continuing. “I even considered dropping out of medical school and go on to study social work instead, but Mum and Dad talked me out of it. They said I would only regret it. I couldn’t see it at the time, but they were right. 

“I wanted to work with children so that I could take care of them. Like how I should have been able to take care of my own child, but I never got the chance to. When I did a rotation in paediatrics, I knew that was where I was meant to be. It allowed me to be a doctor. Be someone who could do their best to take care of these children who needed me. I felt like an idiot for almost walking away from medical school. I’ll never be able to thank my parents enough for talking me into staying.”

“I’m glad everything worked out for ye, Claire. Truly.”

“I might have a wonderful career, Jamie, but that doesn’t mean that wouldn’t trade it all in a heartbeat just for the chance to Faith’s Mum. A proper Mum.”

Just as we’re about to plate up our dinner, Claire’s mobile rings. It’s Frank. Claire decides to take the call upstairs. She’s only gone for a few minutes when she returns though, but she doesn’t look as happy as she was before she took his call. 

Has something happened? Has he done something to hurt her?

“Ye alright?” I ask her as I start to plate up. I wanted to wait until she returned so it didn’t get cold.

She looks distracted, but she fakes a smile and assures me everythin’ is fine. We might have been apart for thirteen years, but I ken damn well that somethin’ has happened.

“So... if Ye’re heading home tomorrow, I take it ye arena goin’ to the Afternoon Tea then?” I ask.

“What afternoon tea?” She asks me.

“The one for the school.” Claire looks at me as if she hasna got a clue what I’m on about. “Every year, the first years get to choose an activity for the year to do wi’ their parents. This year the girls voted for an afternoon tea at one of the hotels in town. Faith was meant to go wi’ Ma, but... Anyway, Faith said she wasna goin’ anymore. Even when I offered to accompany her. She’s been lookin’ forward to it since the beginning of the year. I was actually sure that she would have asked you since ye were gettin’ on so well.”

“She hasn’t mentioned it. Ever.” I can tell by the look on Claire’s face that she’s disappointed Faith hasna asked her. “When is it?” 

“Tomorrow. Two thirty at Glen Mhor, I think.”

“Right. Make sure she’s there, and I’ll surprise her.” Claire says firmly.

“What about going home? Ye said yerself ye need a break.” I didna want her to feel cornered in to this. It isna like Faith had asked her, so the lass would a feel let down by Claire not goin’.

“This is more important. You said she’s been looking forward to this all year, right?” I nod my head, yes. “Right. Then make sure she’s there at two thirty, and I’ll meet her there.”

The four of us sit down to dinner, and it’s wonderful. I mainly sit back and watch in awe as Faith chit chatters away to her Grandmother and her Mother. A sight I’d never thought I’d see. She seems so happy, and it warms my heart to see her so. She’s been through a hell of a lot these last few months, especially in the last few weeks, but she’s coping rather well. I just wish I felt my own relationship wi’ the lass was just as strong.

“Right, now I need to go and figure out what the hell I’m going to wear to this thing tomorrow.” Claire sighs as we watch our daughter walk out to the car.

“Whatever ye wear, I’m sure ye’ll look beautiful, Claire.” I tell her. Claire’s cheeks begin to turn a slight pink colour, and I canna help but feel proud of the fact I managed to make her blush.

“So, Glen Mhor... that’s the one on Ness Bank, right?” 

“One of them, aye. There’s a fair few hotels and B&B’s along there.”

“I remember.” 

Silence falls between us for a few moments as we both just stand and smile at one another. If I didna ken she had a man waiting for her down in England somewhere, I would be sure we were having a moment. Claire obviously realises the same as me and quickly clears her throat before nodding in the direction of Faith.

“You better get going. She’ll be waiting.” Claire says softly.

“Aye.” I breathe out. “I’ll... um... see ye tomorrow then, Claire.”

“See you then, Jamie.”


	9. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I really wanted this chapter up earlier, but the day just got away from me.
> 
> Anyway, thank you all so much for the kudos, comments and taking the time to read along.
> 
> I hope you’ll like what’s to come...
> 
> Kirsty X

Chapter Eight

Faith’s POV

“I already told ye, Jamie. I’m no goin’ to that damn afternoon tea.” Jamie appeared at school just before two o’clock to pick me up to take me to the hotel.

“Ye’ve already paid the twenty pounds, Faith. Ye might as well go and have some fun wi’ yer pals.”

“But I dinna want to. I dinna want to be on my own.”

“Ye wilna be on yer own, lass.” Jamie assures me, but I’m just so angry wi’ him right now for forcing me to go.

All my friends will be there with their Mothers. It will be so awkward me just sitting there amongst them all. It will be even more embarrassing if I turn up wi’ Jamie. Especially since we would be sat at the same table as Marsali and her Mam, Laoghaire. I ken for a fact that Laoghaire would be all over Jamie, and it would be awkward and embarrassing for both Marsali and I. Even Jamie would be affronted, but too bloomin’ polite to say anythin’.

“I said I didna want ye to come.” I spit out at Jamie in annoyance.

“Good job I’m no coming then, eh?” He smiles at me as he parks the car up across from the hotel.

“So I will be in there on my own then?” I huff.

“Come on, a leannan. I’ll walk ye over and wait wi’ ye until the rest of yer pals get here.”

I keep my arms tightly crossed across my chest. He canna make me get out of this car and go in there. I’ve told him more than once that I dinna want to go.

Unfortunately, I dinna have much of a choice. Jamie throws his seatbelt off before jumpin’ out of the car and rounding it to my side and opening the door for me. I stay seated where I am, adamant I’m no settin’ foot in that place to be the only lass there wi’out a Ma. I ken everyone knows Ellen has passed, but I dinna want to be sat there while they all stare at me and feel sorry for me. It’s bad enough at school, but this is a more social thing. 

I just dinna feel verra sociable right now. 

Jamie doesna seem to get that though. He reaches in to the car, bending over me slightly to reach in to unbuckle my seatbelt. Once I’m free of it, he pulls me out of the car.

“Trust me, Faith.”

“I told ye, I dinna want to go.” I argued for the millionth time.

“Look, it was meant to be a surprise for ye, but... there’s someone here who would really like ye to go in. I promise ye, Faith, he’ll have a wonderful time this afternoon.”

There was no way Jamie was giving up. The stubbornness coming out of him in full force the day. I nodded my head and moved to cross the road. Jamie locked the car and quickly followed on behind me. We walked up the side of the hotel to get in to the bar area. The school had hired the whole bar, but us students aren’t allowed up at the bar because we’re under eighteen. The only time we’re allowed to move from our seats, will be to use the bathroom.

As we approach the door, I see some of the girls in my year heading inside wi’ their Mothers. I get a pang in my chest at the thought that I dinna have one. Well, no here wi’ me anyway. Jamie opens the door and ushers me inside. Mrs McNab, my sports team coach, comes over to greet both Jamie and I. She points out to what table I’ll be sat at and let’s me ken that I’ll be sitting wi’ Lizzie and Marsali and their Mothers, as well as someone else, but she doesna say who. 

A moment after Mrs McNab walks away to greet some other girls, I feel a pair of arms wrap around me from behind and someone plants a kiss to the top of my head.

“Hello, Sweetheat. Hope I’m not late?” I pull out of the arms holding me tight and turn to see Claire smiling at me.

“Wh-what are ye doin’ here? I thought ye were heading back to London today?” I ask in surprise.

“Well, Jamie told me about this fine afternoon you had been helping to organise, and I decided I would be better off here with you instead. That alright?”

I dinna even answer, I just wrap my arms around Claire’s waist and hug her tightly. 

Maybe today will be fun after all.

Claire’s POV

After Jamie leaves, Faith and I get settled in at our table and order some drinks while we wait on the others to arrive. I opt for a fresh orange and lemonade, while Faith just wants water.

When the drinks arrive, I watch Faith with some amusement as she keeps her eyes seriously focused on my glass. 

“You trying to pull a Matilda?” I ask her with a chuckle. Faith’s eyes snap up to me and her brows furrow in confusion. “You look like your trying to get my glass to tip over.”

“No, just... never heard of anyone drinkin’ fresh orange juice and lemonade together before.”

“Would you like to try some? I think you’d like it.” I tell her. “If you don’t, there is something seriously wrong.” I laugh. Faith agrees and takes a sip of my drink. Her eyes grow wide as she smiles and declares that she really likes it.

“Thought you would. Jamie and I used to drink this every summer when we were kids.” I tell her.

“Really?” She asks, and I nod yes. “Can ye tell me more about Jamie when he was about my age? He doesna really talk about his teenage years much. It’s usually Ian that bangs on about them days, but Jamie always tells him to shut it.”

“Well, I have to admit... I find it difficult to talk about those days as well. I assume Jamie will feel similarly to me. I know for me, if I don’t talk about it, I suppose it’s easier to pretend like nothing happened, you know?” I don’t mean it to come out the way it did. Poor Faith nods her head but then starts to stand from the table and excuses herself before I can correct myself. As she scatters off in the direction of the toilets, I inwardly scold myself for royally fucking up and the afternoon tea hasn’t even started yet.

Faith isn’t even back out of the bathroom when her friends Lizzie and Marsali arrive. I have already met Lizzie at the Netball practice yesterday, but this is the first time I’m meeting Marsali, and both their mothers. Mrs Wemyss seems very nice and welcoming. Ms McKenzie in the other hand could use a few lessons on manners I think. Her daughter, Marsali, seems to be the complete opposite though. Even Mum has mentioned what a wonderful friend Marsali has been to Faith over the years. Mum can’t believe how Marsali has grown up to be the complete opposite to her Mum, when she’s the only parent the girl has ever really known. 

Faiths been hiding away for fifteen minutes now, and I don’t think it fair for everyone to have to wait on her returning so they can get started on their special mother daughter afternoon. I excuse myself from the table and head in the direction of the bathroom to find Faith.

As soon as I push the door open, I can hear the faint sound of quiet sobs coming from cubicle right at the end. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that it’s my little girl crying in there, and it was my words that had made her so upset.

I gently rap my knuckles on the cubicle door. “Sweetheart, can you come out please? I want to expalin. I didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did.”

She doesn’t answer me.

“Faith, please.” 

Still no answer.

“If you won’t come out, will you let me in?”

In the end, I have no choice but to start speaking through the cubicle door, praying no one was going to walk in and disturb us.

“Sweetheart, when I said it’s easier to pretend nothing happened, I meant pretend nothing bad happened. I didn’t mean pretend you don’t exist or anything like that. Faith, I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment I found out I was carrying you. Even all the years we’ve been apart, I still loved you. Now I’m here and I have the chance to get to know you. You have no idea how much this all means to me.”

Surprisingly, it’s enough to draw Faith out of her cubicle. Well, open the door at least and stand in front of me. She keeps her focus firmly on the floor space between us though.

“So ye dinna regret me then? Having me, I mean?” She asks shyly.

“The only regret I have is not fighting harder for you. For us.” I tell her truthfully.

“Did ye mean it when ye said ye love me?” She asks, equally as shy as her first question.

I smile at her even though she isn’t looking at me. “Yes. Like I said, I loved you from the moment I found out I was carrying you, and I will never stop.”

Faith doesn’t answer me, just nods her head, steps forward to wash her hands in the sink, and then leads the way back out to the bar to join the others. 

In silence.

Thankfully, the sight of her two best friends does wonders for Faith’s mood. She immediately cheers up and sits down to chat away with both Lizzie and Marsali, while I get to know Mrs Wemyss a bit better. Laoghaire MacKenzie sits in silence as she continues to look me up and down and throw nasty comments at me like she even knows me. She doesn’t. Not really.

I remember Laoghaire from years ago. She and I were pregnant at the same time. As much as me getting knocked up by my longtime boyfriend was a shock to the locals, I wasn’t talked about half as much as a thirteen year old Laoghaire MacKenzie who got pregnant by some random fifteen year old lad she met at a party. I don’t know the woman that well, but I think her father kicked her out at some point during her pregnancy, and she went to stay with some distant relatives of hers. It was a shame, and I felt sorry for her, but there was a couple of times when she and I would be waiting to see the midwife in the same waiting room, and she was just so horrible and rude to me, for no reason at all. Whenever Jamie was around though, she was as nice as pie. Especially after Jamie and I split, word had gotten round fast, and Laoghaire wasted no time in trying to win him for herself. Jamie was too blind to notice her game though, so it didn’t work. 

I had to laugh to myself some nights. I’ll give Laoghaire her dues... she was adamant she was going to have her baby and be the best Mum to her that she could be. Even after she was kicked out of home, she was determined to make things work for herself and her baby. It was just a shame she thought that Jamie would be the man to save her and help her. Be the perfect father to her unborn child. If Jamie couldn’t step up to be a father to his own child, how could she possibly think that he would step up and raise hers as his own? It made no sense to me, but she was a young, immature teenage girl with a crush. 

The afternoon is going really well, and more importantly, Faith seems to be having a blast. She’s even been including me in to conversations with her friends and telling me stories about school and what her favourite sport to play is. It’s shinty, but I already knew that. Still, I let her go on and on about it because it means she’s speaking to me. She’s telling me all this because it’s things she wants me to know about her. It’s just the perfect day.

Out of nowhere, Laoghaire decides it’s time to stop drinking tea, and order a large glass of red wine. Poor Marsali begs her not to, but the woman won’t listen and orders a whole bottle instead. Laoghaire offers a glass to both Mrs Wemyss and I, but we both kindly decline. It’s been such a wonderful afternoon, why spoil it by drinking alcohol? Especially with the young girls here, it just doesn’t seem right to me.

When she finishes the first bottle, she immediately asks for a second. A couple of the teachers who are here, come over and ask Laoghaire to slow down. She doesn’t listen though. Mrs Wemyss and I do our best to keep the girls entertained so they don’t focus on Laoghaire too much. Laoghaire can obviously tell what we’re doing, so she decides to strike up a conversation with Faith.

“I’m sure ye could have brought that handsome brother of yours, Faith. It’s a shame yer Ma couldna be here the day, but ye shouldna have felt like ye had to drag in anyone off the street.”Laoghaire looked over at me with a wide smirk.

“I wasna gonna come at all, actually. Jamie kent how much I wanted to come though, so he and Claire surprised me. I’m glad Claire’s here though. It was verra kind of her to change her plans to be here today.” Faith answered, and judging by the look on her face, she wasn’t really keen on Laoghaire. Much less conversing with her.

“All’s I’m sayin’ is ye probably would of had more fun wi’ yer brother here, I ken I would.” Laoghaire winked at Faith.

Seriously? After all these years, she still has a thing for Jamie? I very much doubt he would look twice at her.

“Did ye ken Jamie and I were a thing, Claire?” Laoghaire asks me as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. I don’t answer because I’m in complete shock. What the hell was he thinking going with her? The woman’s insane. “It was a couple of years ago, but it was quite serious, ken? He was plannin’ on moving in wi’ me and the girls. Even had a ring picked out for me and everything. The plan was for him to adopt the girls as his own as soon as we were married.”

I don’t know why, but I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Jamie and I haven’t been together since I was six months pregnant with Faith. We’ve been apart for thirteen years. I have Frank for gods sake. Why do I feel jealous of Laoghaire bloody MacKenzie? I’m not a jealous woman. Far from it.

Faith snorted from beside me. “Ye were together for like two minutes, if that. Jamie had no real interest in ye, and he definitely wasna plannin’ a future for ye both. He definitely wasna about to move in wi’ ye.” Faith shot at Laoghaire.

“He was, lass. Trust me. He maybe didna tell ye because he was worried how ye would react to him movin’ out. I ken how close you and yer brother are, but he couldna stay at home forever. He had his own life to live.”

“I ken for a fact he would never have moved out, especially wi’out me.” Faith snapped.

“And what lad moves wi’ his wee sister in tow, Faith?” Laoghaire then turns her head back to me. “He was such a sweet man. Still is. I’ve been givin’ him time to grieve since Ellen left us, but it’s times like this ye realise what’s important. He’ll come back to me. He’ll need me and the girls to keep him goin’.”

Faith let’s out a sarcastic laugh. 

“Look at it this way, Faith. When Jamie and I finally make it down the aisle, ye’ll be Marsali and Joanie’s Auntie. Cool, huh?”

I can’t help but roll my eyes. Is she serious? I thought if anyone would have guessed that Faith was actually mine and Jamie’s daughter, it would have been Laoghaire. Obviously she can’t see what’s right in front of her. She genuinely thinks that Faith is just Jamie’s younger sister.

“Can we go now Mam? I didna want to be here in the first place.”

I takes me a few moments to process what Faith just said. As I turn in my chair to look at her, Laoghaire begins to speak again.

“Mam? What are ye havering on about, lass?”

Before I have a chance to say anything, Faith answers Laoghaire.

“Jamie isna my brother. He’s... my Dad. Claire here is my Mam.

“The reason I ken Jamie wasna plannin’ on any of what ye just said, is because he would never have left me. Stayin’ home was the only way he could be close to me. He wouldna have left me for anythin’. Especially you. No offence, but ye were just somethin’ to pass the time for a few weeks.”

Laoghaire’s mouth hangs wide open and I can see people from the other tables around us have stopped talking and eating to turn and watch Faith. They definitely heard her. They definitely heard that Jamie and I are her parents.

“Please Mam, can we go?” Faith asks me quietly and I nod my head, take her hand in mine and lead her out of the hotel. On the way out I thanked Mrs McNab and promised to get Jamie to call the school tomorrow to tell them everything. 

Now that the truth is out, Jamie and I need to make sure that the school knows everything. There’s bound to be a lot of talk about what Faith had just announced in there.

I lead Faith over to my car, still holding on tightly to her hand. 

“Are you alright?” I ask her once we’re both buckled up inside the car.

She nods her head. “Sorry I said all that, she was just... I just hate that woman.” Faith grits out. “Her and Jamie were nothin’, but she likes to make out that they were some kind of fairytale or somethin’. It’s sickening. Especially when I ken it isna true. All Jamie did was take her out a few times and then came home and moaned bout how clingy she was. He canna stand her. 

“I think she only said all that because she kens you and him used to be together years ago.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same. I just feel sorry for her girls. The woman clearly hasn’t grown up any over the years.”

I drive Faith straight home. Mrs Henderson is in visiting with Mum today, so I know there is no hurry for me to return home. Both Mum and Mrs Henderson know how to reach me if they need me. A couple extra Carers are popping in and out as well since I was supposed to be heading to London today to surprise Frank.

I haven’t brought up the fact she called me Mum in front of everyone back at the hotel. I am curious to know why though. Not that I’m complaining, it was wonderful to hear. Something I never dreamed I would get the chance to hear.

Maybe she just said it to rile Laoghaire. That’s probably why she said it. While Faith has decided to refer to my Mum as Gran, and only refer to Ellen and Brian by their names, she hasn’t really gave off the impression that she wants Jamie and I to be her parents. I think she’s happy just being my friend and Jamie’s little sister. 

I said from the off that I would take this all at Faiths pace. She just lost the only Mother she ever knew, it isn’t my intention to just step in and try and take over from where Ellen left off. I’m more than happy to be Faith’s friend. Someone she can trust and turn to for anything. 

Even if all we’ll ever be is friends, at least I can smile at the memory of her calling my Mam. Not once, but twice today.

Faith and I make our way through the house, but there’s no sign of Jamie. He must have went back to work after he dropped Faith at the Hotel. I just find it odd that his car is parked in the driveway.

“He would have took his bike. Since he didna need to pick me up from school today, he would have came back to get his bike after he dropped me at the hotel.” Faith explains as if she can read my thoughts. “Ye said yer thoughts out loud.” She tells me and I feel my cheeks grow warm in embarrassment.

“Dinna worry, Jamie says I do the same thing sometimes.” She laughs. “Says I get it fae you.”

A silence falls between us as Faith makes us both a cup of tea. I sit down at the kitchen island and watch her as she moves about the kitchen. She’s so much like Jamie. The way she walks, the way she moves. There’s just this grace about her that I always loved about him. Our little girl may resemble me more physically, but her mannerisms are all Jamie. 

“Faith—“

“I really am sorry I said what I did. And... when I called ye Mam, I shouldna have. I’m so sorry, Claire.”

“It’s alright. I understand why you said all of that, I’m just worried that you’re going to regret it. It won’t be long now before the entire city knows the truth.”

“Sorry.” Faith says sadly as she passes me over my mug of tea.

“You have nothing to apologise for, alright? Honestly Faith, I don’t care that people know the truth. In fact, if it were up to me, I’d be shouting it from the rooftops that your mine. I was just worried that you would regret it because you don’t feel ready for the truth to come out. Everything is still quite fresh, especially for you.”

“So ye arena disappointed in me then?” She asks shyly.

“Of course not, Faith. I could never be disappointed in you.” I assure her.

Silence falls between us again, but only for a few seconds before Faith moves round the island to sit on the stool next to me. 

“When I called ye Mam, I didna say it to get a rise out of Laoghaire. It just kind of slipped out.” Faith mutters quietly as she shrugs a single shoulder.

“It did?” I ask surprised.

Faith nods her head before taking a deep breath and letting it out. “When we first met, that night in the Chinese, there was just somethin’ about ye that drew me to ye. I’m not one for usually speaking to strangers all that much, but I wanted to speak to ye. 

“Then when we met at the hospital the following night, ye were so warm and caring towards me. I needed someone, and ye were there for me, even though ye didna ken me.”

“I had the same pull towards you, Faith.” I explain to her.

“I ken. It’s... weird, right? But... it doesna feel weird. Like... when Jamie said ye were my Mother. My real Mother, I was... relieved. A bit confused and scared, but I was glad it was you. Same way I was scared and confused when I read Ellen’s letter about Jamie bein’ my Da. But it just felt right. 

“The more time I’ve spent wi’ ye, and even Frank, it just all feels... natural.”

“Really?” I ask with a bright smile plastered over my face. I can feel tears pooling my eyes, but I can’t help it. I never dreamed that Faith would actually see me as anything other than a friend. Especially this soon.

Faith nods her little head and smiles back at me. “I dinna understand why everyone did what they did, and I’ll always be grateful to Ellen and Brian for raising me, but... neither of them are here now, and I dinna want to sound like a brat of ungrateful or anythin’ like that, but...”

“But what, sweetheart?” I ask her gently.

“Well, dae ye think I could maybe call ye Mam? I mean, only if ye want. If ye’d rather I just call ye Claire, that’s totally fine.” Faith rushes her words out as if she’s scared I’ll say no.

I let out a small laugh and pull her in to my arms. “I’ve been waiting thirteen years to hear you call me that, Faith.” I whisper in to her ear. “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to. It’s entirely up to you and what you feel comfortable with, alright? We take all of this at your pace.”

Faith pulls away from me slightly but smiles at me with tears of her own springing to her eyes.

“I want ye to be my Mam.” She tells me simply. I nod my head and plant a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“So do I, baby.”

Faith and I spend the rest of the afternoon just chilling out and getting to know one another. Faith tells me Jamie should be home from work soon, so the both of us get to work in making some dinner for him coming home. It wasn’t my plan to stay, but Faith and I have been having so much fun, it would really pain me to leave her. She’s been calling me Mam every chance she gets. Sometimes I think she just says it for the sake of saying it, but I don’t mind. It’s a name I’ll never tire of hearing, or answering to.

“So, what do we do about custody and visits and that then? I mean, Jamie has full custody of me because that’s what Ellen wanted, but now you’re in my life, I think it’s only fair that I get to stay wi’ you and Frank too. I mean, if ye’s wanted me to? I dinna want to just barge in to yer life.” Faith suggests as we prepare to marinate the chicken.

“Well, first off, you’re not barging anywhere. You’re my daughter, Faith. I think it goes without saying that I want to be with you whenever possible. The problem is, I don’t live just around the corner, do I? I promise we’ll come to some sort of arrangement though.” I assure her. 

I probably will be living here soon enough any way.

“Really? How come?” Faith asks curiously as she pops the bowl of marinated chicken in the fridge.

“How come what?” I ask confused.

“How come ye’ll probably be livin’ here soon? I mean, that would be great, but Frank doesna really strike me as the kind of man that would want to move all the way up here. I mean, I think he likes Inverness enough to come visit, but move here? I doubt it.” Faith says, and she’s right.

I think carefully before answering. “I-um... I may end up moving her alone, actually.”

“Eh? Why?!” Faith speeches as she comes towards me. “Are you and Frank breaking up? Is it my fault? I thought we were getting on well—“

“Faith, shhh.” I try and get her to calm down. “Look, I’m honestly not sure what the future holds for Frank and I, but I do know one thing, that man loves you almost as much as I do. All he does is tell me about what you’ve talked about on the phone.” I smile at her. “He cares about you so much. If we were to split up, it wouldn’t be anything to do with you, alright?” I pull her in to my arms and hold her tight.

“But... ye seem so perfect together. Why would ye break up? I dinna want ye to move here if it means the end of you and Frank. 

“I’ll come and spend half the summer holiday wi’ ye both. Could even come during the October holidays and well, I could take it year about as to where I spend Christmas. Then there’s the Easter holidays as well, and the weekends ye’ll be coming up to see Gran. See, ye dinna need to move away from Frank, we can sort it all out.” 

“Sweetheart, it isn’t anything to do with that, alright? Frank and I are just at different stages in our lives now. I don’t see how we can go forward when we both want and need different things. 

“Nothing has been decided yet, but trust me... if things do end between Frank and I, it will be an amicable decision.” 

Faith goes all quiet as we finish off chopping up some vegetables to throw in to the fried rice we’re making. Jamie will probably complain it isn’t healthy, but it’s what Faith wanted so that’s that.

Once dinner is all complete, Faith decides to stalk up to her room until Jamie comes home. I don’t know how to assure her that anything that happens between Frank and I isn’t down to her. The only way I can do that is to tell her the truth about what’s going on between us, but is it really fair to unload on my thirteen year old daughter when Frank and I don’t even know ourselves what’s going to happen. 

Frank will be back in Inverness again on Friday night as planned. The plan is to talk things through properly then. I just thought we had more time. Apparently not.

Frank was approached a few of months ago about a position as a History Professor at Harvard. One of his old colleagues from Oxford is retiring next year and he recommended Frank to take over from him. Frank and I both spoke about it in great detail, and honestly, it was something we were both looking forward to. Starting a fresh over in America next year, it was like a dream come true.

When Frank called me last night, it was to say that the position has come up sooner than expected. Harvard called Frank yesterday to offer him the position starting in September of this year, not next year.

This wasn’t part of the plan. Things have changed in the last few months. Especially for me. Mum needs me, not only that, but I finally have my daughter back in my life. I have the chance to be a Mum to her. She wants me to be a Mum to her. There is no way I can take off for America. Especially in the next few months.

When Frank called to tell me last night, he made it clear that he understood things were different now and he knew that it wouldn’t be easy for me to pack up and leave Faith behind. Frank would never try and force me in to going, just like I would never force him to stay here with me. He’s worked too hard to just pass up this opportunity. Who knows when he might get an offer like this again?

It’s really sad to admit, but I just can’t see how Frank and I can make our relationship work if we were to live an ocean apart. If I didn’t have Faith in my life, this wouldn’t be an issue. I would simply ask Mum to come with us. Faith on the other hand, I can’t tear her away from Jamie. As much as I would love Faith to go to Boston with Frank and I, I just can’t do that to her or Jamie. Frank wouldn’t want that either. 

All I can do is wait and see what Frank and I come up with when he comes to visit. I hate to think that our three year relationship could be coming to an end. Will we end things this weekend, or will we keep holding on right up until the last minute when he boards that plane to Boston? 

Who knows?

Jamie arrives home and calls for Faith as soon as he comes through the front door. As soon as he finds me on the couch, he stops still and just looks at me.

“Hi.” I say shyly.

“Hey. Sorry, I just... didna expect ye to still be here.” Jamie tells me as he slowly walks towards me. I stand up and walk on through to the kitchen again. Jamie follows on behind me. 

“Well, Faith and I had a good afternoon. Well, mostly. She asked me to stay for dinner and I agreed. Is that alright?”

“Of course it is. Ye ken Ye’re welcome round here any time, Claire.

“How was the tea then? Did she enjoy it like I thought she would?” Jamie asks.

I nod my head as I start to plate up the food and Jamie sets the table. “Yeah, she just...”

“She what?” 

“Laoghaire made a dig about me being there. She said Faith should have invited you instead she then went on to tell me how serious you two were and how you were planning on marrying her and adopting her girls. Faith wasn’t happy. Started putting her in her place and told her that well, basically she was talking crap.”

“Christ. That woman. God Claire, she makes my skin crawl. Is Faith alright? Are you? Ye kent she was just spouting rubbish though, aye?”

I nodded my head. “She just hasn’t seemed to have changed. Still crushing on you after all these years it seems.” I laughed. “Faith is alright, yes. But... she was so annoyed with Laoghaire, that she just wanted to shut her up.”

“Riiiight.” Jamie draws out the word as he steps towards me. “And how did she manage to dae that? Dinna tell me she threw a glass of somethin’ over her?!” Jamie demanded.

I shook my head, “No. she just... might have told Laoghaire that she’s our daughter and there is no way you would have left her to move in with her. So, um... probably the whole school knows by now that we’re Faith’s real parents. We left just after that because Faith wanted to come home. I meant to text you and let you know what happened, but we just kind of got caught up talking and preparing dinner.”

“Where is she?” Jamie asks, his voice a little dry.

“In her room. She, um... she’s been up there for a little while now. You should maybe call her again.”

When Faith finally appeared for her dinner after Jamie went upstairs to get her personally after she failed to come down after the fifth shout, she seemed a lot calmer than she was when she stomped up to her room before. 

The three of us enjoyed our fried rice. Even Jamie said he enjoyed it. 

Faith told Jamie all about Laoghaire and what had happened at the hotel. I think Jamie feared the same as me, that she would regret that everyone would now know the truth but she assured him that she was glad it was all out in the open. If the three of us weren’t going to have any more secrets or lies between us, we shouldn’t be pretending around other people. 

After dinner, Faith helped Jamie clear away the dishes in to the dishwasher and I wiped down the table. It wasn’t dirty, but it was just my way of helping. 

Jamie then made the three of us a hot chocolate, and we sat in Faith’s media room to watch a film. I say Faith’s media room because that’s what Jamie called it, but I think he may have come up with the idea to turn Willie’s room in to a little den for himself, but used Faith as an excuse since she’s a kid. 

It was nice and cosy. The three of us sat on the big corner sofa in the middle of the room as we watched “Big Daddy”. I haven’t seen that film in years, but it was nice to sit down and watch it. Especially with Jamie and Faith. It just all felt very comfortable and natural. 

I was in the middle between Jamie and Faith. When we first sat down, there was a bit of a gap between Jamie and I, only towards the end of the film, I noticed Jamie and I were sitting rather close. Too close. I had Faith leaning against my other side, so it wasn’t like I could shift away from Jamie. In all honestly though, I didn’t want to move away from him. I liked sitting close to him. I liked that we must have looked like a proper little family sat on that couch.

When the film ended, I decided it was time for me to head home.

“Can I come wi’ ye? Can I stay wi’ ye tonight?” Faith asked desperately.

“I-um... Jamie?” I asked him, not wanting to say yes and Jamie not be ok about it.

“Well, it’s fine wi’ me, but what about yer Ma?” Jamie asked me.

“I’m sure she will be over the moon to have her favourite granddaughter stay over night.” I grinned.

Jamie smiled back and told Faith to go and pack an overnight bag. She wasn’t even gone five minutes and she was back, raring to go.

Jamie walked us both out to the car. 

“See before ye go to work tomorrow and I go to school, dae ye want to come over to grans and have breakfast wi’ us and Mam?” Faith asked Jamie, her eyes beaming with excitement.

“Ye mean Claire?” Jamie asked slowly, as if to correct her or something. It was then that I realised that I hadn’t told him that Faith was now calling me Mam. She hadn’t called me anything when we sat down to dinner, and we didn’t really say anything at all when we watched the movie.

“Aye.” Faith said and I caught the eye roll that followed. “What dae ye say, Jamie? Breakfast tomorrow morning?” My heart starts to break for Jamie a little because she still doesn’t see him as her father.

“Aye.” Jamie breathes. “I’ll bring some healthy and nutritious food for us all.” He tells her.

“Seriously?” Faith groaned.

“Aye. Yer Gran needs proper food, no the rubbish you two like to throw in yer big gobs. It wilna do you pair any harm to have something healthy for a change.” 

Faith rolled her eyes again and I let out a small laugh. 

Faith hugged Jamie Goodnight and he kissed her forehead before she climbed in to the passenger side of the car. I said my own Goodnight to Jamie and said he would be welcome round any time after eight tomorrow morning.

“You’ve cheered up a bit.” I comment on the drive back to Mum’s.

“I called Frank. He told me about Boston.” Faith says casually like it’s no big deal. “I think you and I should spend as much time together as we can just now. Don’t you?”

“Wait, what?”

“Maybe instead of just half the summer wi’ ye, I could spend the whole summer in Boston wi’ you and Frank. I’m sure Jamie won’t mind since I wilna get to see ye all the time.”

“Faith, I’m not moving to Boston.” I tell her.

“That’s what Frank said. He said he wasna goin’ either, but I managed to talk him in to it. Sounds like too good an opportunity to miss.”

“It is.” I mumble.

“So... ye should go. Both of ye.”

“That’s not happening, Faith. And I don’t want to talk about this again, alright?”


	10. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... sorry this chapter is a couple of days late. Been busy trying to get everything sorted for Christmas. Not going well unfortunately, haha.
> 
> Hope you are all well.
> 
> Thanks again for taking the time to read along and leave kudos and comments. Sorry if I haven’t managed to respond to everyone yet, it’s been a busy week.
> 
> Kirsty X

Chapter Nine

Friday...

Jamie’s POV

When I heard Faith call Claire “Mam” the other day, I felt... proud. I was so happy that Faith had felt comfortable enough to accept Claire for who she really is. I felt proud that Faith was giving Claire the chance to be a proper Mother to her. There are no words for how happy I felt in that moment.

But then... my wee lass called me Jamie. 

Not “Da”.

I didna expect Faith to just flip a switch one day and just start callin’ Claire and I “Ma” and “Da”. I kent it would take time for the lass to process everythin’. I was even happy to just go along as we were. She’s always called me Jamie. That’s who I’ve always been to to her. To be honest, I never really expected to be anythin’ else. But, for just one wee moment, after she called Claire “Mam”, I felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, everythin’ would work out the way it should have thirteen years ago. Maybe, just maybe, she and I could move forward together and rebuild our relationship for the better. But that feelin’ only lasted a moment. 

She called me Jamie. 

I’ll only ever be Jamie.

That’s somethin’ I just have to accept.

Claire’s POV

I pick up Frank from the airport, and I just feel numb.

This is the end. I know it is. There is no way we can come to some sort of compromise about any of this, not that either of us should have to. When Frank and I have spoken on the phone the last few days, we both agreed that neither of us would ask the other to stay or go. Frank has offered to stay a few times though, but I keep telling him he shouldn’t have to. Frank is a career man, and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I don’t want him to stay and then resent me some time down the line for him giving up his career for me. It would be too painful. 

The drive back to Mum’s is quiet. Too quiet. There isn’t even noise coming from the car stereo. It’s just... silence.

Just as we pull up to Mum’s, Frank decides to finally speak.

“About Faith, I never meant to spill about Boston, Claire. She was just so rattled about something you said and I just wanted to reassure her that whatever happened, it was nothing to do with her being in your life now. I didn’t mean for this to come out like this.” Frank sighs.

“I know that, Frank. I wanted to tell her, I just wasn’t sure how. I wanted to make sure you and I had talked everything through first so that she wouldn’t be left wondering on things, you know?”

Frank nods his head before he moves to step out of the car. I stay right where I am and take a few deep breaths before I move to get out of the car myself.

The house is quiet with just the two of us. Mum is away to her physio. She had the offer of a therapist coming to the house, but since Mum’s unable to work now, she decided to take her appointments at the hospital, that way she would definitely be getting out of the house at least once a week.

Faith asked if she could come over after her football practice, but I suggested she wait until tomorrow. That would give both Frank and I a chance to speak through everything. She seemed fine about it, but I know she’s excited to see Frank. They really do get on well, and I really am glad about that, but now I think it may be more of a curse than a blessing. How will Faith cope when Frank boards that flight to Boston and he and I are no longer together? I would hate to think that she and him couldn’t be friends anymore. Would it be too painful for Frank to stay in contact with her? These are all things Frank and I need to discuss before we speak to Faith.

I fill Frank in on how Mum’s been feeling since he last saw her, but it’s obvious to both of us that I’m just rambling to avoided bringing up what we really should be discussing. 

I never thought I would find love again. Not after Jamie. I didn’t think I deserved it because I gave up my own daughter. The relationship I have with Frank, it wasn’t planned. I never expected it. We started off as really good friends, and I relied on him a lot during the first couple of years of our friendship. We were each other’s dates to work functions. Ate dinner together at least once a week. Spoke on the phone almost daily depending on what shift I was working at the hospital. Then one day, out of nowhere, Frank admitted that he had been falling in love with me. It wasn’t something I really thought about, but after Frank admitted his feelings, I couldn’t stop thinking about him in that way. He’s a such kind and caring man. Always the first person I turn to when I need someone in my corner. The way he’s supported me through Mum’s illness and then when I found out about Faith, even when he wasn’t here with me physically, he’s still been my rock. 

There is no question about it, Frank is heading off to America soon, and I’ll be moving back to Inverness. There is no other option for either of us. We’re going where we need to be. It doesn’t mean we don’t love each other anymore, it just simply means our lives are moving in different directions. It happens. Although, I never thought it would happen to us. I can’t imagine a life without Frank in it. I don’t want to imagine a life without him. 

“You’re moving back to Inverness then.” Frank says sadly. I nod my head once, almost feeling ashamed.

“And you’re moving to Boston.” I tell him. Frank’s jaw clenches, as it does sometimes when he’s nervous about something. Frank puts his head down as if he feels just as ashamed as I. Even though there is no real reason for either of us to feel this way, it’s just sad that it’s come to this.

The question now though, will we be able to stay friends, or is this the end of a five year friendship as well?

Saturday...

Jamie’s POV

“Faith?” I call upstairs. Faith is due to visit with Claire and Frank for lunch today. She was supposed to go straight after her Shinty practice earlier, but Claire text her and asked her to go over a little later instead. 

I dinna ken what exactly is goin’ in wi’ Claire and this Frank guy, but I just hope that Claire isna puttin’ our daughter in the middle of some sort of domestic situation. As grown up as the lass thinks she is, she is still only a child. I dinna want her stuck in the middle of Claire’s issues wi’ her partner. I just have to trust that Claire won’t let that happen.

“Faith! Ye’ll be late if ye dinna get a shift on.” I call again.

“Calm doon.” Faith answers in her usual teenage grumpy way.

“Yer Ma will be wonderin’ where ye are.” I tell her. It feels strange to refer to Claire as Faith’s Ma and not have Faith react in a negative way. It’s nice though. I only wish she felt as comfortable callin’ me “Da”, or somethin’ to that effect.

“I ken. Can ye phone her and tell her I canna come over today.”

“How? What’s happened?” I look at Faith and notice how pale she looks. She has Claire’s pale complexion anyway, but this is somethin’ else. She’s also wrapping her wee arms around her stomach as if she’s in pain.

“I just dinna feel up to it today. Ask her to apologise to Frank for me, and I’ll see her in a few days.” Faith murmurs quietly as she turns to walk back up the stairs. The lass looks like she’s struggling to walk.

“Faith, darlin’, ye need to tell me what’s wrong. Is it a stomach bug? Dae ye want a wee cuppa tea? Some soup? What can I do?”

“I just want to sleep. I’ll be alright.”

Somethin’ isna right. 

I waste no time in calling Claire as I make Faith some tea and prepare some soup. She may no be hungry, but if the lass is sick, she needs to keep her strength up.

“Well, what’s wrong with her?” Claire asks. I can tell by her sharp tone that she’s annoyed Faith isna goin’ over for lunch wi’ her and Frank. But, if the lass is sick, she’s sick. Nothin’ I can do about it.

“I dinna ken. She says she’s alright, just needs a nap, but I’m sure there’s more she isna sayin’.”

“What makes you think that?” I can hear the worry in Claire’s voice now.

“Well, she looks awfy pale. Paler than usual. The way she’s holdin’ herself, she’s clearly in pain. I’m guessing she has a wee stomach bug or somethin’. Nothin’ some rest wilna cure. She asked me to call and apologise for her absence, so that’s what I’ve done. I’ll leave you and Frank to it, and I’ll text ye later on wi’ an update.” I tell her.

“I’m on my way.”

Before I have the chance to argue, Claire hangs up the phone. 

Brilliant. This is all Faith needs right now. 

I take the cuppa tea and a wee bowl of soup and some bread and butter upstairs to Faith. She’s curled up in a wee ball on her bed wi’ the duvet wrapped right over her wee head. I lay the tray down on her desk before movin’ over to the bed and slowly pulling back the duvet to get a proper look at her.

“Ye need to eat, a leannan. I heat up up some soup and buttered a couple of slices of bread for ye too. There’s a wee cuppa too if ye’d prefer, but ye need somethin’ Faith.” I tell her softly as I rub my hand gently up and down her back.

“Did ye text Mam?” Faith mumbles quietly in to her duvet.

“Aye.” I answer. “I gave her a wee phone and told her ye werena feelin’ too good, but ye’d see her in a few days. She was a bit disappointed, but I’m sure she understands.” I assure her.

Faith nods her wee head, but makes no effort to say any more. It’s clear she just wants to be left alone. This isna like Faith at all. Ever since she was a wee bairn, whenever she was sick, it was always me she cried out for to comfort her. Da didna like that so much, but there was nothin’ he could do. Now, it seems she doesna want me anywhere near her.

I get up from the bed and move to bring the tray over to her bedside table. “Even if ye just have a couple of spoonfuls and a bite of the bread, at least it’s somethin’.” I tell her. I plant a kiss on top of her wee head and move to leave her to rest up for a wee while. When I reach the door, I turn back to look at her. She looks so small. So vulnerable. “Shout down if ye need me. I’ll keep my phone on me in case ye’d rather send me a text.” I tell her. She doesna answer, so I just leave her.

Not even ten minutes later, the doorbell rings. The fact that Claire said she was comin’ over, I just assumed it was her. Instead though, I find wee Marsali on the doorstep lookin’ a little... wary? Marsali doesna seem her bright and sunny self either.

“Afternoon, Mr Fraser.” The lass says nervously.

“Afternoon, Marsali. Faith’s a wee bit under the weather today so—“

“She text me and asked me to come over.” The lass cut in.

It isna unusual for Marsali to come round to the house, I just canna think of a time where she came over when Faith was curled up in bed sick.

“If Faith’s got a wee bug, Marsali, I dinna want you catching it and givin’ it to wee Joanie tae.” I explain to her. 

Before she gets a chance to argue why she should see Faith, Claire appears. “Where is she? What’s wrong?” Claire demands in a panic.

“Dina fash, it’s just a wee tummy bug. She’ll be fine this time tomorrow.” I assure her, but she doesna seem convinced. 

I then spy Marsali eyeing Claire up and down. “Did Faith ask ye to come over too?” Marsali asks Claire.

“Um, no. Jamie called to say she couldn’t make lunch today because she’s ill. I came by to see how she is.” Claire informs the lass. “Did she ask you to come over?” Claire asks the lass in return.

“Aye. But he’ll no let me in. I really need to see her though.”

“Marsali... she’s no well. Ye ken I wouldna turn ye away unless there was a good reason. I’m tryin’ to stop ye from catchin’ a bug and passin’ it on to yer sister. That’s all.” I try and spell out to the lass as nice as possible.

“It’s no a stomach bug!” Marsali unexpectedly snaps.

“Well what is it then?” I ask the lass. 

Marsali turns to Claire instead of answering me. “Can I speak wi’ ye privately, Ms Beauchamp?”

“Anythin’ ye have to say to Claire, ye can say in front of me, Marsali. Especially if it concerns my daughter.” I tell her firmly. I’ve never spoke to the girl in such a manner before, but this is my wee lass we’re talkin’ about here. Clearly somethin’ is goin’ on that she doesna want me to ken about.

“Well, why doesn’t Jamie show us inside, and you can tell us both what’s going on?” Claire suggested to the lass.

“But she’ll kill me if she finds out I told Mr Fraser.” Marsali said as he voice started to waver a bit wi’ nerves.

“Please, Marsali.” Claire urged. “As her parents, we do have a right to know what’s going on with Faith right now.”

Marsali slowly nods her head in agreement, and steps in to the house after I move to the side to invite both her and Claire inside. Marsali heads straight for the conservatory at the back of the house. Probably so Faith doesna hear what was bein’ said.

I offer the lass a drink, but she politely refuses. Marsali takes a deep breath before fishin’ around in her wee handbag. She pulls out a packet of somethin’ I havena seen since Jenny was livin’ at home. 

Sanitary products.

“Faith text me a wee while after she got home from practice to tell me she started her period, but she doesna have anythin’. She asked me to bring some things over for her.” Marsali rushed out. “I also brought some ibuprofen ‘cause that’s what helps me wi’ my time of the month.” 

“Why did she no say anythin’ to me? If she’s ran out, I woulda got her more if she only asked.” I say.

Marsali shakes her head. “This is her first time. She hasna had her period before.” 

I could kick myself for no realising such a thing. I had an inkling that Ma had spoken to Faith about this whole thing a wee while ago, but I honestly never gave much thought as to whether Faith had actually started to get her monthly cycle or not. I mean, why would I?

“Thank you, Marsali.” Claire say to the lass. “Why don’t you pop up and see her and tell her I’ll be up in a moment, alright? I’ll make her a hot water bottle and bring it up to her.”

Marsali nodded and turned to make her way up to Faith’s room. 

“Well,” Claire starts after Marsali leaves us alone. “Looks like our baby girl is turning in to a woman.”

“Dinna say that, Claire. I feel like I’ve only just got her, I dinna want to think of her as growin’ up.” 

“I know exactly what you mean.” Claire sighs. “But, that’s life.” Claire shrugs a single shoulder sadly.

Claire gets to work on fillin’ a wee hot water bottle for Faith as I thank Marsali for helpin’. She says Faith ate a wee bit of the soup, but no much. And somethin’ that’s verra unlike my daughter, she hasna even touched the tea I made her. Faith is feelin’ pretty sore wi’ her stomach cramps, but Marsali is certain she’ll be fine in a few days. She also says she’s ran a wee bath for Faith and that’s where she is right now. 

“The bathroom door isna locked since I just came fae there, so dinna gan in, Mr Fraser.” Marsali explains and I smile fondly at the lass. It just makes me feel much better to ken that Faith has wonderful friends around her to help her when she needs it. I just wish she felt she could have turned to Claire or I.

After the lass takes off, Claire runs upstairs to put the hot water bottle in Faith’s bed for her and then when she comes back down, we wait a wee while until we hear Faith comin’ out of the bathroom and headin’ to her room. 

“I remember Jenny doing something similar for me when I had my first period.” Claire says out of nowhere. “Mum had already given me the talk, but it was only a few short weeks later that it happened and I panicked. I didn’t feel ready.

“I called Jenny almost straight away and begged her to come over. I just needed someone to talk to that wasn’t my mother. Jenny made me jump in the shower and then we just relaxed the rest of the morning watching stupid tv shows. I was only eleven.” Claire laughs.

“Eleven?!”

“Yup. Some girls can even start as young as ten. On a very rare occurrence, some girls start at nine. Eleven and twelve is the most common age though. Some girls don’t even start until nearer sixteen.” Claire says casually as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. I mean... I suppose it is, it just isna a conversation I thought I’d be havin’. No right now anyway.

I follow Claire upstairs to speak wi’ our wee lass. On the one hand, I think Faith would be more comfortable talkin’ to Claire about this, but I need Faith to ken that this is normal for girls her age. I can understand why she didna want to turn to me, but I want her to ken that she can. I lived through all this wi’ Jenny when she was a teenager. This is nothin’ new. The only difference is it’s my wee lass, no my sister.

Claire raps her knuckles on Faith’s bedroom door lightly and waits for the lass to answer, but she doesna say anythin’ at all. Claire knocks again and asks if she can come in. Faith still doesna answer.

I urge Claire just to go in. She isna keen on the idea, but I’m no keen on the idea of just waiting out in the hallway like a numpty when I ken Faith isna feelin’ too good. Eventually Claire agrees and slowly pushes the door open.

I walk in behind Claire when she says it’s fine. We find Faith huddled up in her bed, similar to how I found her no so long ago. She’s cryin’, but she’s tryin’ to sob as quietly as possible.

To my horror, Faith grits out that she doesna want either of us there. She tells us to leave over and over again. As much as I dinna want to leave her in such a state, I dinna want her any more upset than she already is. I remind her just to call out for me if she needs anythin’ before heading towards the door. Claire bein’ the stubborn woman that she is, refuses to come wi’ me.

“You go. I’ll be down after I’ve spoken to Faith.” She tells me.

“I told ye to go. That meant both of ye!” Faith hisses. I’ve never heard her like this before. Even when she was angry and upset when the truth about me bein’ her father came out.

Where’s my wee lass gone?

“Sorry, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere until we’ve talked, alright?” Claire’s firm wi’ her words, but she also says them wi’ a sort of gentleness.

I leave them both to it and make my way downstairs. It’s then that I start to wonder how I would have coped wi’ all this if Claire wasna here in Inverness. Jenny isna exactly round the corner, though I’m no so certain Faith would want Jenny here anyway. Jenny would just steamroll her way in and take over, much to Faith’s annoyance. At least wi’ Claire, she’s determined to speak to Faith and talk to her about all this wi’out forcing too much. If Jenny had been here when Marsali was, Jenny woulda told the lass to go and take over everythin’. Claire gave Faith some time wi’ her friend because that’s what Faith wanted. I ken I was a bit funny wi’ Marsali bein’ here at first, but that was only because I didna ken the truth as to what was gan on wi’ Faith. I assumed it was a tummy bug and I didna want her passin’ it on to Marsali.

Over an hour. That’s how long Claire has been upstairs wi’ Faith before she finally comes down.

“I’m just making her some tea and then I’ll be back down to talk.” She says before disappearing in to the kitchen.

“How is she?” I ask.

Claire sighs as she fills the kettle wi’ water before turning it on to boil. “She’s... better than what she was. I think the bath and the hot water bottle helped. Her tummy’s still sore, but not as bad as it was. I told her if she managed to eat something properly, she could take some painkillers and that would help.”

“I’m glad ye were here.” I tell Claire honestly.

“A bit out of your comfort zone, huh?” Claire laughs, and I canna help but chuckle too.

“A bit, aye.

“I kent Ma had spoken to her about all this, but—“

“She did, yes. Even tucked away some pads for when Faith needed them, but she couldn’t find them anywhere. That’s why she asked Marsali to bring some over. The poor girl had to use—“

“I dinna want to ken, Sassenach.” I cut her off before she goes in to too much detail.

“Mind if I hang around a while? I’d like to be here if she needs me.” Claire asks me as we sit down on the couch to talk.

“Of course, but... what about yer Ma? And Frank?”

“Well, Mum’s quite happy at home and Frank’s more than happy to keep her company. He knows to call if I’m needed. I’m sure they’ll both be fine though.” She explains,

“Is he no only here for a couple days though?”

“Yes. He’s flying home tomorrow evening.” She says slowly. There’s a hint of disappointment in her voice and she looks upset.

“Ye dinna want him to go.” It wasna a question because I could tell just by lookin’ at her that she didna want him to leave.

“Honestly? No, I don’t. I thought that with Frank staying until tomorrow night, it would be better for both of us. Now I think it’s going to make things harder between us because I really don’t want him to go. I don’t want this to be the end already.” Her voice is a bit shaky and barely louder than a whisper.

“I’m sorry, Claire, but I dinna have the faintest idea of what yer’re yittering on about. What dae ye mean ye dinna want this to end already?”

Claire turns her head away from me. “I haven’t told Faith yet.” She mumbles quietly.

“Ye havena told Faith what?” I ask.

Claire takes a deep breath before turnin’ to face me again. “Frank and I decided to end things between us last night.”

“Och, Claire... I’m so sorry.” I genuinely am. I’ve always loved Claire, and I always will. But, I respect the fact that she’s moved on wi’ her life and found someone else. It hurt me to see them together, especially wi’ Faith, but I am sorry things didna work out between them.

Claire let’s out a deep breath and moves to sit back on the couch. “It was amicable, but it doesn’t make it any less hard. He offered to get a flight back today, but I asked him to stay. I guess I was being a little selfish in asking him that, but I’m just not ready to go on with my life without him.”

“Can I ask why? I mean, fae what I’ve heard, which isna much by the way, but ye’s have been together for a while now. Faith thinks the world of him purely because of how supportive he was to ye about her, and how he welcomed her in to yer wee family.”

“He has been. He’s so kind and loyal. Supportive and loving. But our lives are going in different directions now. It’s impossible for us to keep going. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us in the end if we tried to force things to work. You should never have to force things in the first place.” She says sadly.

I listen carefully to what she’s tellin’ me, but it still makes no sense to me at all.

Claire can obviously tell I’m a little confused, so she decides to continue on. “That night you came over for dinner and Frank called me—“

“I remember. Ye seemed a bit... hurt? When ye came off the phone to him. I didna want to pry since it was none of my business, but I was a bit concerned.” I admit to her.

Claire smiles at me for a second before straightening her face again and clearing her throat. “Well, Frank had just called me to tell me he had been offered a job as a professor at Harvard. There were discussions of him taking over from an old colleague of his next year. We both talked it through and decided to go for it. But... that was for next year. And, I had no idea about Faith. Then there’s Mum. I just can’t up and leave in a few months time and leave them both behind.

“Fortunately, Frank completely understands that and said he wouldn’t ask me to leave them behind. I admitted I wouldn’t ask him to stay because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for him and his career.”

“But... if ye already had all this planned for next year, why change yer mind? I mean, I get things are different now, what wi’ Julia’s health and Faith, but I dinna for one second believe that either one of them would begrudge ye goin’ a head wi’ yer plans.” I tell her.

“I just found my daughter, Jamie. I don’t want to be a part time Mum. I don’t want to only be able to speak to my daughter through phone calls and WhatsApp messages and emails. I don’t want to only be able to see my daughter during her school holidays and every second Christmas.” Claire cries out.

“Whoa... calm down, Claire.” I tell her gently. “Look, I ken it isna perfect, but we can work somethin’ out. I’ll tell ye, Faith would love nothin’ more than a trip to America once a year.” I smile at her to tray and make her feel better.

Claire huffs. “I think our daughter has other ideas.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask a bit defensively. “Does she ken about this?”

“We spoke about it the other night. She said I should go. I told her I didn’t want to go, not anymore. She seemed to have it all worked out in her head how things would work out though. I told her I wasn’t going and I didn’t want to talk about it again. Thankfully, she hasn’t brought it up again. It was why I asked her to come over a bit later today instead... so Frank and I could break the news to Mum about our split before I told Faith. She seemed upset the other day when I told her that Frank and I would probably split up. I think she thinks it’s her fault that Frank and I would split, that’s why she was trying to get me to go. But... I can’t.”

We sit in silence for a few minutes. Neither of us sure what to say next apparently.

Before things start to get too awkward though, Faith comes down the stairs wi’ a wee blanket wrapped around her. She comes over to the couch and sits in between Claire and I. For a moment I think she’s about to move closer to Claire, but to my surprise, the lass cuddles in to my side. Exactly what she usually does when she’s under the weather. I canna help the wee smile tuggin’ on the side of my mouth before I plant a kiss on top of her wee head. 

“Ye alright, a leannan?”

Faith nods her head. “Can ye ask Murtagh to bring over some soup fae the pub? Maybe some ice cream as well?” 

“There’s plenty tins of soup in the cupboard, Faith.” I laugh.

“I ken, but I want lentil, and we dinna have that. Murtagh always has Lentil soup on a Saturday at the pub.” Faith points out.

“Fine. I’ll send him a text. Ye might no get it straight away, depends how busy he is.” I tell her.

She says that’s fine and snuggles in to me more.

Claire gets up to get the lass a wee bottle of water to keep her hydrated, before she heads home. 

“Call me if you need anything, alright sweetheart?” 

Faith nods her head. “Thank ye for comin’, Mam. And thanks for everythin’ ye did.”

“Well, I didn’t do much, but I mean it, call me if you need me for anything, even just a chat.” Faith nods her wee head in agreement wi’ Claire. “Alright then love, I’ll come and see you in the morning, alright? I love you.”

“Love you too, Mam.”

There’s that title again. It makes my heart fit to burst wi’ pride hearin’ Faith call Claire “Mam”, especially when she also told Claire she loved her. At the same time, it made my heart sink. Would there ever come a time when my daughter would feel comfortable enough to call me her father?

I showed Claire to the door and then went back to get comfortable on the couch again next to Faith. It’s kinda embarrassing askin’ her what I’m about to, but I fear if I don’t, I’ll just make myself stir crazy.

“Faith, can I ask ye somethin’, darlin’?”

Faith moves to sit up a bit so she can look at me properly. She shrugs her shoulders. “Of course.”

“What made ye start callin’ Claire “Mam”?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I could have begged the ground to swallow me whole. What was I thinkin’ askin’ the lass that? Especially when she isna feelin’ a hundred percent.

“Um... cause she is?” She answers as if I shoulda kent.

“But... ye still call me Jamie?” I ask gently.

“Aye.”

“Well, I just thought that if ye were callin’ Claire “Mam”, ye might call me “Da” or somethin?” I mumble, feelin’ a bit more embarrassed.

Faith smiles at me, but it doesna quite reach her eyes. “I didna call ye Da because I didna ken that’s what ye wanted me to call ye.” She tells me. “Wi’ Claire, things are just... different. I didna ken her really as anythin’ but my biological mother. We get on so well and we’ve been building a nice wee relationship. Then at the afternoon tea, I accidentally called her “Mam”. I didna mean to, but it just slipped out. It felt... right. We spoke about it and I asked if I could call her Mam, and she said aye. Wi’ you though... it’s a bit more complicated. Well, I thought it would be more difficult, but for me it isna. I just wasn’t sure if ye wanted to be my Da, or just keep goin’ as we were.”

“Of course I want to be yer Da, Faith. It’s all I ever wanted. I was just so worried that ye couldna forgive me for what happened, and only wanted to keep me as her brother. As a pal.” I explain to her.

Faith smiles at me again, this time it does reach her eyes. “I forgave ye the minute you and Claire sat me down that night and told me the truth. I couldna hate ye for somethin’ that wasna your fault.

“Anyway... as much as I loved Brian, he never really did feel like my Da.” Faith admits and I give her a curious look. “I ken he loved me and that, but he just seemed to treat me differently to you, Will and Jenny. Now I ken why. It was always you I wanted to hang around wi’. Always you I turned to when I needed help or someone to talk to. Ellen was fine, but me and you just had this connection, aye?” I nod my head in agreement. “Well, since I found out the truth, I kinda figured that’s what it was. Ye’ve always been my Da, haven’t ye? Even if ye didna have the title, it was always you that took care of me the most. The one that loved me the most.”

I let out a breathy laugh. “Christ, lass... ye’ve nae idea how happy I am to hear ye say all that.” I tell her before pulling her in for a tight hug. “I genuinely thought I’d lost ye for good. Lost the chance to be a proper father to ye.”

“Ye stayed.” Faith mumbled in to my chest before I drew back a bit to let her breathe properly. “When ye had the chance to move out and start a life of yer own, ye didna. Ye stayed here, wi’ me. For me.”

“Aye.” I breathed. “And I’d do it all again. Though, if I could go back in time, I would fight harder to be yer Da properly. I wouldna have let my Da and Henry turn me in to the coward they did.”

“Ye arena a coward. If ye were, ye wouldna be here, would ye? Ye’d be off livin’ that new life Brian wanted ye to.”

We fall in to a companionable silence as I pull my daughter closer to my side again. 

“Did ye order food fae the bar?” Faith suddenly asks.

“I did. He said it would be here as soon as possible, but it wilna be him that delivers it. Dinna be surprised if Dougal turns up.” I warn her. Faith rolls her eyes and snuggles back in beside me.

“I’ll just leave you to get the door then, just in case.” She answers wi’ a wee smirk.

I laugh. “What’s new?”

The food arrives no much later, and thankfully, it wasna Dougal that delivered it. Faith and I sat down at the kitchen table and tucked in to our soup. I put the wee tubs of ice cream in the freezer for later. 

“Mam broke up wi’ Frank, didn’t she?” 

I almost choke on my soup. “That isna really for me to say, lass. It’s no really any of my business.” I tell her.

“I think she did. Please, just tell me. If ye ken, just say it.” 

I place my spoon back in my bowl and sit back in my chair. “Aye, lass. They decided to split up.”

“I kent it.” Faith grits out. “It’s all my fault isn’t it? She wants to stay here because of me.”

“It isna just for you, Faith, though ye are a big part in her decision to stay. The break up though, that was both of their choice, okay? It’s nothin’ to do wi’ you.”

“Frank must hate me now.” Faith whispers.

“He doesna hate ye. Like I said, it was an amicable split. They both decided it was for the best. And from what yer Mam tells me, Frank loves ye, Faith.” I tell her. 

“That’s what Mam said the other day. I dinna ken how he can though when I’ve basically ruined his life. They had a whole future planned out. Now that is all ruined because she found out about me.” Faith says sadly. “When Frank made such an effort wi’ me, I thought it only right to do the same wi’ him. At first, before I kent about Frank, I secretly hoped you and Mam would get back together. Then we could be the family we were meant to be. Then when Frank appeared, I realised I was just bein’ silly. They seemed so happy together though. It was only right I got to ken the man, for Mam’s sake. I didna actually expect to really like the guy, but I do. Now they’ve split up because of me. Frank wilna want to speak to me again.”

It pains me to see Faith so upset. Faith had mentioned that she was strugglin’ to make Faith believe that if she and Frank were to split, it wasna her fault. I’m tryin’ to assure her the same, but she just has it in her head it’s all her fault.

“Frank flies back home tomorrow night. Why don’t ye go and visit him and yer Mam tomorrow and they can explain. It’s no my business to share really, and I think yer Mam would have preferred to tell ye herself. Just... trust me, sweetheart, this isna down to you, alright?” Faith appears to understand, but that could just be wishful thinkin’ on my part.

We spend the rest of the day just lazing about the house. Faith permanently has a hot water bottle laying on her stomach, and is drinking so much water to try and dull the headache a bit. She’s been taking both paracetamol and ibuprofen as per Claire’s instructions. That seems to be helpin’ a bit.

“Want to watch a film or somethin’? Maybe play a game on the PS4?” I ask Faith.

She shakes her head. “Think I’m gonna try and sleep.”

“Okay, darlin’. Just shout out if ye need anythin’, aye?”

Faith nods her head and bends down from her standing position to give me a hug as I sit on the couch. 

“Goodnight, lass.”

“Night, Da.”

I canna find any words to respond. It’s like my body has went in to shock over hearing my wee lass finally call me Da. Faith smiles at me before turnin’ to head up to her bed. As soon as she leaves the room, I feel the tears start to well in my eyes and fall down my cheeks.

She called me Da.

My wee lass called me Da.

I pull out my phone and send a text off to Claire.

Me: Sassenach, she called me Da. Faith actually called me Da. Can ye believe it?

I get a text coming through almost straight away;

Sassenach: Of course I believe it, Jamie. It was only a matter of time.

Me: We finally have our daughter back, Claire. Finally.


	11. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to get through the comments from the last chapter yet, but I promise to try and get through as many as possible over the next few days. Thank you to everyone who’s taken the time to follow along on this story, commented or left kudos. I appreciate you all.
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy what’s left of this story...
> 
> Also... the end of this Chapter is a bit NSFW. And just in case this is the first of my fics you’ve read... I’m not that brilliant at these kind of scenes, but I give it a go every now and then haha.
> 
> Kirsty X

Chapter Ten

Six months later...

Faith’s POV

It’s been six months since my world fell apart and I didna think I would be able to piece it all back together. Six months since the woman who raised me passed away from cancer. Six months since I opened the letter that would change my life forever. Six months since I learned my favourite person in my entire world is actually my father, and not my brother as I was raised to believe. Six months since I met my biological mother. Six months since my broken family came back together. Well, almost...

“I spoke to Frank last night.” I drop in to conversation wi’ Mam as we empty the dishwasher.

“And how is he?” She asked.

When Mam and Frank decided to split up, they also agreed to stay friends. That became impossible though because they just missed each other too much. Just before Frank made the move to Boston a couple of months ago, he and Mam came to the decision to stop any kind of communication between the two of them. Both he and Mam agreed that I could stay in touch wi’ him though. 

I never thought Frank and I would become so close, but we did. And even when he and Mam split, he still supported me and cared about me. I think Da was a bit upset in the beginning, thinkin’ I liked Frank more than him, but that was never the case. Frank was my mother’s partner, it was only right I tried to get along wi’ him, for Mam’s sake if nothin’ else. When Frank moved away, Da was totally fine about me stayin’ in contact wi’ Frank. I even heard him and Gran talkin’ one night and sayin’ how nice it was to see Frank and I gettin’ on well. 

I dinna normally discuss Frank wi’ Mam, but since he told me about his new girlfriend, Sandy, last night, I thought maybe this would be the news Mam needs to help her to move on herself. I see the way she and Da are around one another. I also ken my Da wouldna tell Mam how he still loves her because he thinks she’s still hung up on Frank. I dinna think she is though. I think she genuinely misses him, but misses the friendship she had wi’ him more than anythin’. I think it was Frank who struggled wi’ the split more than Mam. I think if Mam’s truly honest wi’ herself, she would admit that she’s only ever truly loved Da. Even Frank told me that a few weeks after they split. He told me that he kent it was time for him and Ma to part ways so she could get back wi’ Da. He said he’s always kent her heart always fully belonged to him. But now that Frank has moved on to this Sandy lady, maybe Mam will feel better about letting herself move on too. 

“He’s fine. He, uh... met someone.” I glance up to try and gauge Mam’s reaction. She pauses for a second before turnin’ to me and smiling. It’s a genuine smile.

“That’s good to hear. I’m glad things are working out for him over there.” Mam says before continuing wi’ her task of emptying the dishes from the dishwasher.

“Me too. He seems... really happy. He asked if you were happy too.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“The truth. Ye’re happy at work in the hospital. Ye’re happy at home wi’ me. Ye enjoy visiting Gran at her wee flat every chance ye get. Ye just need a man.” I shrug a single shoulder.

Mam got a job working at Raigmore Hospital about a month after she and Frank split. She never even went back to London, just sent in her resignation from her old job with immediate effect, and they accepted. Frank had helped to sort out sending all her belongings up here to Inverness. Not that she had all that much to be packed up any way. She and Frank sold their house, and then Mam was able to buy a house of her own here in Inverness. She could have stayed at Grans, but she needed her own space. Then about six weeks ago, my Gran moved in to a wee flat wi’ supported livin’. She said she was too young to go in to a home, but she fancied moving in to supported livin’ so that she would have company when she wanted it, a warden downstairs if she needed them, and the carers still go to her four times a day. She’s loving it. I go and visit her three times a week, sometimes four. I go wi’ Da once a week, and once a week wi’ Mam.

Mam looks horrified. “You told Frank I need a man?!” 

“Of course not.” I roll my eyes. “I’m tellin’ YOU that.” I clarify.

Mam rolls her eyes at me and it’s like lookin’ in a mirror. It’s kinda scary how alike we are, but I like it. Now I ken the truth, I can see the similarities between me and Da, but I take more after Mam looks wise. I like seeing the resemblance between us though, it makes me feel like I really do belong to them.

“I don’t need a man, Faith.” Mam huffs as she closes up the dishwasher and makes her way over to wipe down the counter tops.

“I didna mean just any man though, I mean Da.”

“I’ve told you before, Faith, there is no way in this lifetime your father and I will ever get back together. I’m sorry, but we just won’t. I’m sure Jamie has told you the same thing.” She argues.

“Doesna mean ye both mean it though. I’ve seen the way ye’s are around one another. I ken ye both still love each other, so why fight it?”

“I’m not discussing this, Faith.” Mam warns me sternly as she points a finger at me. “Go upstairs and get packed for your fathers. I’ll drop you off on my way to work.”

I thought when Mam bought a house of her own here in Inverness, it would be fun to live wi’ her. I asked almost straight away if I could move in wi’ her. No that I wanted away from Da, but I’ve lived wi’ him my whole life. Ideally, we would all live under the same roof and I wouldna have to divide my time between the two, but apparently that will never happen. Da was happy for me to move in wi’ Mam because he kent how much it meant to both of us. And since Mam works shifts, it means I can be stayin’ wi’ Da more some weeks than others, so it works out quite well. 

Last week I stayed here wi’ Mam for four nights. This week though, I’ve only stayed wi’ her for two. I like it this way though. There are some kids at school that only see their Dad’s at the weekends. Some only see him every second weekend. My time might not be split equally between my parents, but at least I get plenty of time wi’ each of them. I dinna ken how I would feel if I only saw one of them at the weekends, or only twice a month. I really am lucky.

It can be a nightmare going between the two houses sometimes, especially when I forget something. Like last week when I stayed here, I left my phone charger at Da’s. It wasna like I could use Mam’s since we don’t have the same kind of phone, so she had to take me back to Da’s to get it. Then there was one week I really wanted to platinum one of my games on the PS4. I brought the game to Mam’s, but forgot the console. I asked Da if he could bring it over, and he kindly did and even set it up for me. I asked my parents then if I could get a PS4 for Mam’s house to save me bringing my console over when I wanted to play, but they both said no. 

“Just because ye have two houses, doesna mean ye get two of everythin’ to go inside them.” Da told me.

I was a wee bit annoyed at first when he said that. Especially when Mam backed him up on it. It wasna like I wanted two of everythin’ I owned, but it would be handy if I did have two Playstations. I later realised that they just didna want me to be spoiled. Plenty of kids that have separated parents have two of most things, and they really do come across as spoiled brats. Not all of them, but some of them. I guess I canna really blame my parents for doin’ everythin’ they can to keep me from turinin’ in to the same. Anyway, the more I forget things, the more time they have to be around one another when I have to pick things up and get things dropped off. Not that I leave things behind on purpose. Well... not always.

Tonight though... I might just have to “accidentally” leave something rather important in Mam’s work bag.

“Right. Are you sure you have everything? I don’t have time to nip home now if you’ve forgotten something. It will just have to wait until tomorrow after school, unless your father can take you back to get it.” Ma said as we pulled up to my other home. The one I share wi’ Da part of the week.

“Dinna fash. I keep a couple of school uniforms here anyway. And since I’ll be at school most of tomorrow, I dinna need all that much.” I tell her.

“Hmm.” She hums like she doesna believe me. 

She’d be right, but what she doesna expect is for my missing item to be wi’ her at work, forcing Da to go and collect it from her personally.

“Behave for your father please, and I’ll collect you from school after football tomorrow, alright?”

I nod my head in agreement. “Thank ye. See ye tomorrow. Have fun at work.” I pause and think that’s maybe no the right thing to say considering she’s a paediatrician working in A&E. “Um... ye ken what I mean.” I say wi’ a small smile.

Ma smiles back at me. “I do, darling. You have fun with your Dad and I’ll see you soon, alright? I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Mam.” I reach over and kiss her cheek before unbuckling my belt and jumping out of the car wi’ my overnight bag.

When I get inside, I’m surprised to see my Murtagh, my Da’s godfather sat on the couch wi’ a bottle of beer in his hand. He’s normally a whisky man, and my Da NEVER runs out of whisky.

“What’s wi’ the beer?” I ask as I dump myself on the couch beside him.

“Fancied a change. What’s it to you anyway?” He asked grumpily. Just the auld coot’s usual way.

I shrug, “Just askin’.”

“Saw yer Aunt Jo earlier wi’ that Cameron fellow.” Murtagh grumbles.

Years and years ago, Murtagh had a thing for my Granny Ellen. She was interested in my Granda Brian though. Murtagh was happy for them though, and was beyond honoured when they asked him to be god father to all three of their children. Murtagh has a soft spot for my Da because he reminds him so much of Granny Ellen. Anyway, a few years ago, Murtagh had a relationship wi’ my Aunt Jocasta, my Granny Ellen’s sister. They were together for a good five or six years before they split up. She ended up moving over to America. I never even met her until she returned wi’ a new husband in tow three years ago. Poor Murtagh has been pining over her ever since she left him. He’s never been able to move on from her. He’s been feeling worse since she moved in just over the road from the bar he owns, just a few weeks ago. He’s been seein’ her come and go from her house and it’s been tearing him up inside. Honestly, I think she only moved there to try and get a rise out of him. I’ve seen her wi’ Mr Cameron myself, and there is no way that is a marriage about love. 

“Well, he is her husband.” I remind him.

Murtagh just lets out his usual grunt.

“Did yer Mam no come in?” Da asks me as he walks in to the room. No hi, hello, or nothin’. His one and only question is about Mam.

I canna help but smile.

“Sorry. She had to get goin’ to work. She’s workin’ in A&E tonight.” I tell him. Just sliding the info in there so he kens where he’ll find her later. 

The fact Murtagh’s here may work to my advantage. It means he can stay here wi’ me, while Da goes to the hospital wi’out me either goin’ in wi’ him, or sat out in the cold car.

Later on, I come down from my bedroom to find Murtagh and Da watchin’ an old football game from the eighties. Usually I would join them, but I had to put my plan in to action. For the past half hour, Da thinks I’ve been upstairs doin’ French and Media Studies homework.

“Da?” I ask 

“Everythin’ okay?” Da asks me as he keeps his eyes firmly on the tele, even though he’s seen this game at least six times.

“I was doin’ my media studies homework on Ma’s iPad. I gave it back to her the other day for work, but I forgot I still have a couple of things to edit on my video. All my other homework is done though.” I tell him.

“Can ye no wait and finish off the project tomorrow night instead?” Da suggests.

“Naw. It’s due second period tomorrow.” 

“So. What ye’re tellin’ me is that ye need me to run ye back to yer Mam’s to get her iPad?”

“No. It will be in her work case. She’ll have it at work.”

Da starts cursing in Gaelic. I dinna think he kens that Murtagh has taught me all the bad words, so I ken fine what he’s sayin’.

“Right.” Da grits out. “Get yer coat, let’s go.”

“Och, leave the lass here wi’ me.” Murtagh tells Da. “She can fill me in on what’s she’s been up to at school. Been an age since she and I have a proper conversation.” Murtagh continues before turnin’ to me and flashin’ me a wink.

Great. Murtagh kens what I’m up to. He canna be too mad over it or he would have dobbed me in to Da. Is it possible Murtagh thinks Mam and Da should get back together too?

Da grunts and raises a brow at me. “Fine. But text yer Mam and tell her I’m on my way and what yer sendin’ me for. I dinna want to be disturbin’ her too much when she’s meant to be workin’.” Da tells me firmly.

“Of course. Dinna fash though, it’s Wednesday night. Hardly anythin’ happens on a Wednesday night. Especially wi’ kids.” I comment.

Da just huffs before grabbing his keys and disappearing out the door.

“So... tryin’ to push your parents together then?” Murtagh grins at me like a Cheshire cat.

“Yup.” I say instantly. “And what of it?” I ask.

“Nowt. Just... dinna expect things to happen overnight, lass. Too much has happened between the two of them, the hurt doesna just fade away altogether.” He warns me.

“I ken that. But I also ken how much they love each other. They’re just too scared to admit it to each other. The more time they spend together though, the harder it will be to ignore.”

Jamie’s POV

Does the lass seriously think I dinna ken what she’s up to? Now Murtagh’s in on it too? Was this the real reason he turned up tonight uninvited? He said it was because he’d been so busy at the bar and we havena had the time to hang out lately. I have a feelin’ him and Faith had this whole thing cooked up before hand. It wouldna surprise me to be honest.

I ken the lass just wants the same as I do, but that isna gonna happen. As heartbreaking as it is, too much has happened between Claire and I for us to try and rebuild an actual relationship. I’m just beyond grateful I get to successfully co parent Faith wi’ her. Don’t get me wrong, it can be challenging at times, but she’s a great lass. Claire and I have been able to rebuild our friendship, and that’s been a blessing. I never expected to ever be able to call her my best friend again, but I do. She is. 

I get to the hospital and I head straight to the A&E department where Faith said Claire was workin’ the night. It seems fairly quiet, but’s no even eight o’clock yet, things might pick up later on in the night. Claire always says ye never can guess what will roll through the doors of casualty.

I head straight to reception and give my name and explain I’m here to see Dr Beauchamp. The lass writes down my name on a wee bit of paper and tells me to take a seat in the waiting room and she’ll fetch Claire for me.

I hear Claire before I see her. Calling out my name in panic and her high heels clicking on the floor as she runs towards me down the corridor. I stand immediately and hold my hands out to catch her when she runs over to me.

“Where is she? What’s happened?” Claire demands.

“Who?”

“Faith! Who else?”

“I dinna ken what ye’re talkin’ about, Sassenach.” I tell her.

“But... why are you here?”

“Ye mean she didna text ye?” I ask. It’s a stupid question because of course she didna text her Mam to tell her I was on my way. Does she even need the iPad? I begin to wonder.

“What’s going on, Jamie?” Claire pulls herself out of my arms and crosses her own arms over her chest.

“She needs yer iPad to finish off her media project that’s due tomorrow. Said it’s in yer work bag.” I explain.

Claire let’s out a breath. “Of course. I forgot to give it back to her the other day when I’d finished with it.

“You know, Jamie, if she had an iPad of her own, she wouldn’t need to use mine.” Claire comments.

“We agreed, Sassenach. She’s too young to have all these fancy devices. Ye see these teenagers goin’ around all the time wi’ their face stuck in their fancy phone or iPad or whatever. Our daughter doesna need that.” I explain firmly.

Faith has an old android phone of mine that allows her to phone, text, email and take some pictures. The camera quality isna that good, but it’s not like she needs it. I dinna allow her on any social media. Thankfully, Faith hasna argued for a Facebook page or an Instagram. She’s understands why I dinna want her using such tools on the internet until she is at least sixteen. 

“She needs it for her schoolwork.” Claire sighs.

“No, she doesna.” I answer. “She has a laptop where she can do any and all projects for school. I agree the iPad is more portable, but there is nothin’ wrong wi’ the computer she has. When the laptop is no longer workin’, then I’ll consider buying her an iPad.”

Claire rolls her eyes at me. Identical to our teenage daughter. “She could do with a more up to date phone as well. An iPhone or something.” Claire suggests. 

“Not happenin’, Sassenach. The phone she has will do her a while yet.”

Claire turns on her heel and starts stomping down the corridor. As I stand and watch her storm off, she turns around and flaps her arms about.

“Aren’t you coming?!” She snaps at me.

“Where to?” I draw the question out cautiously.

“My bag is locked in my office. If you want the iPad, you’ll need to come and get it.” 

When we reach Claire’s consultants office, she makes no move to fetch the iPad from her bag. She just stands in front of her desk wi’ her arms crossed over her chest again.

“She said she spoke to Frank last night.” Claire says quietly.

“She did, aye. He seems to have settled in quite well over in Boston from what I hear.” I answer. I’m a bit confused as to why Claire is bringing up her ex to me since she hasna mentioned him to me in almost six months.

“He has. Got a new girlfriend and everything according to Faith.”

“Well, that’s—“

“Good for him.”

“Aye. Good for him.” I agree.

Claire let’s out a deep sigh and starts pacing in front of her desk. “Faith thinks I should think about moving on too.” She tells me. Her voice is shaking like she’s nervous about talkin’ to me about this.

“Right.” I say. My head is turned down to look at the ground and my voice is a little tight, and I inwardly scold myself for making it obvious how uncomfortable this topic of conversation is making me.

“She has a specific person in mind for me to move on with though.” Claire’s voice is barely louder than a whisper. 

My head snaps up to look at Claire. She has her back to me and is lookin’ out the window, but I can see her reflection in the glass clearly as she looks right at me

“Really? Who?”

Claire drops her head before taking a deep breath. She begins to turn round slowly and look up at me. Claire takes a small, unsteady step towards me. Then another. And then another, until we’re only about three feet apart.

“Did you mean what you confessed to me the night you stayed over at the house? When you admitted that you never stopped loving me? That you never will stop loving me?”

I remember that night well. Claire had only just moved in to her new house and was havin’ problems wi’ the electrics. When the switch tripped for the third time one day and she was unable to get an electrician, she called me and asked me to go over and have a look. Unfortunately I only managed to get the power back on for a wee while before it tripped again. I did offer to take her back to my place and stay the night wi’ Faith and I, but she declined the offer. Especially when Faith called to ask if she could stay at Lizzie’s that night. 

The longer the power stayed off, I didna want to leave her on her own. I basically invited myself to stay in what would become Faith’s room. To my surprise, Claire never argued. Dinna get me wrong, Claire would have managed to stay the night on her own, but I kent she would be lonely on her own more than anythin’. Claire’s a practical person. Always on the go. Never one to sit around bein’ idle if she can help it. I kent she would end up goin’ stir crazy in the cold, dark house all on her own. 

We got talkin’ about everythin’ that happened between us. From finding out that Claire was pregnant wi’ Faith, to Claire findin’ out the truth about Faith bein’ wi’ me since she was almost a year old. It was the first time we really spoke about it. And I mean REALLY spoke about it all. It was so raw and intense, but I think we both felt it was needed. Anytime we really spoke before, Faith was around, or we kent she wouldna be far away. Right in the very beginning, neither Claire or I could speak about what happened wi’out snappin’ in to a huge row, leavin’ both of us tense, angry and exhausted. Thankfully we came to the decision to at least try and move on for Faiths sake. And we did, to an extent. But now... things are so much better between us after that night. 

I confessed how felt about Claire. How it’s only ever been her. How I’ve only ever loved her. It wasna too long after she and Frank split though, so I made sure she kent that I had no intention of tryin’ to rebuild what we once had. It was clear to me that she wasna ready for anythin’ more than friendship after her split from Frank. I also didna think she would forgive me enough to take a chance on us. 

Was I wrong? 

Has Claire fallen in love wi’ me again?

“Aye.” I breathe. I make a small move towards Claire to try and bridge a bit of the gap between us. “I meant it. Every word. But, I also meant it when I said I wouldna push for ye, Claire. Ye just split up fae Frank. I dinna expect ye to return the feelings I have for ye. No after all that’s happened.”

Claire nods her head once and then backs away from me to go and fetch her work bag from under the other side of the desk.

I take a couple steps closer to the desk, but I stick to the opposite side as to not get too close to Claire.

“Faiths right though.” I tell her. “Ye deserve to be happy. Ye deserve to share yer life wi’ someone. I’m no suggestin’ myself, Claire, but if ye feel like now is the time to be movin’ on wi’ yer life, ye ken I’ll support ye.”

Claire keeps her eyes focused on her desk as she fidgets wi’ the iPad in her hands. 

After a few moments, Claire turns to hand over the iPad to me. I step forward to take it, but Claire seems reluctant to let it go.

“Ye alright?” I ask.

“What if I told you I don’t want to be with anyone but you?” Claire whispers.  
“What if I told you that for almost ten years after I left, I wasn’t with anyone else. Frank was... I loved him, Jamie. I really did. I’m just not sure if it was enough. Not compared to how I feel about you. How I’ve always felt about you.”

Claire’s unusually nervous. She wilna look at me as she speaks to me. 

I manage to take the iPad from her and lay it down on the desk before moving back to place my hands gently on Claire’s waist and pulling her closer to me. It feels so good to hold her like this again. 

“Where’s all this comin’ from?” I smile at her. 

Dinna get me wrong, I’m glad she said what she did, but I never dreamed for a second that this could actually happen. I resigned myself to the fact that we would never be able to find a way back to one another in that way. All I ever thought we would be is friends and co parents to Faith.

Claire finally tilts her head to look up at me. Her wee golden amber eyes glistening wi’ unshed tears. Claire moves her hands up and presses them gently on to my chest to push me away slightly before movin’ away to lean on her desk.

“After Frank and I split, he told me he knew I would end up running back to you. He didn’t mean it in a horrible way, he meant it as his way of giving his blessing. He wanted me to move on and be happy. He knew my heart always truly belonged to you. 

“But when he said it, it made me panic. I knew what he was saying was true, but I didn’t want to jump straight in to a new relationship after splitting from him. Especially with you. My main priorities were taking care of Mum, and building a relationship with Faith. I didn’t want to think about anything else, so I didn’t. 

“I also didn’t want Frank to think that I didn’t care about him or love him, because I did. Deeply. I was scared that if I told you how I really felt about you, I would just get swept up in us trying to rebuild ourselves. I was scared that even though Frank knew this was a possibility... I didn’t want to hurt him. Now that he’s moved on, I feel better about moving on myself. I’m just not sure how we do that. I mean, if you even wanted to—“

“Of course I want to, Sassenach.” I tell her honestly. “There is nothin’ I want more in this world than to give you and Faith the family and happiness ye’s should have always had.”

“You really mean that?” 

A huge grin spreads across my face as I take a few steps towards Claire. To my surprise, Claire shifts herself away from the desk to meet me halfway. I reach a hand out to caress the side of her wee face. 

“I would verra much like to kiss ye, Sassenach. May I?”

Claire doesna answer, she just nods her head once before throwing herself fully in to my arms and smashing her lips over mine. Pressing her hands at my chest, she pushes me back against the wall. Her wee arms moved up to wrap around my neck as she slid her fingers through my hair. I slide my own hands from Claire’s waist to her back to untuck her blouse so I could feel her skin under my hands. 

The kiss was like fire. So hot and heated. Of course it was, we havena kissed or held each other like this in thirteen years. In fact, I dinna think we’ve ever been as hot and passionate as this. I suppose this was thirteen years of feelings finally bein’ able to surface.

When we finally pull apart, we’re both tryin’ to catch our breath. I didna want my mouth to be parted from her any longer though, so I pressed a gentle kiss to the sensitive spot just below Claire’s ear. When she pants my name, I canna stop. I bite and suck at that sensitive spot as Claire lets out a moan.

To my surprise, Claire pulls herself away from me. I can see it in her eyes though, she wants me. She wants this. She wants us. 

“Undo your zipper.” Claire commands.

“Eh? Why?” I ask her, shocked by Claire’s sudden boldness. She’s always been a straight to the point kind of lass. Goin’ after exactly what she wants. But, I havena seem this side of her in thirteen years.

“You heard me.” She quirks a sly smile. “Pull down your zipper, and let me see how much you want me.” She teases in my ear before runnin’ her wee hand up the outside of my leg, and sliding her hand over to place her hand over my growin’ bulge.

“Fuck, Claire.” I hiss.

I dinna get to do as she asks. She obviously got fed up waiting and decides to lower the zip of my jeans herself. She doesna stop there though, she pulls my jeans right down so they are wrapped round my ankles. There is a chair just next to where I’m stood against the wall. Claire instructs me to sit there. Obviously, I do as I’m told.

“Do you want me, Jamie?” Claire asks as she comes to kneel between my legs. She doesna touch me though.

“Yes. I’ve always wanted ye, Claire.” I answer truthfully.

“Do you still love me?”

“Ye ken I do. I’ll always love ye, no matter what.”

To my frustration, Claire refuses to touch me, but she’s drivin’ me wild the way she keeps licking her lips and biting down on her bottom lip.

“Do you think we could make this work? You and me?”

“I ken I want to try, Sassenach. But if ye arena ready, I wilna push ye.”

“I want to try too, Jamie.” Claire says shyly as she looks up at me through her wee eyelashes. 

Before I can say anythin’ else, Claire starts tuggin’ at the sides of my boxers to try and bring them down.

“What are ye doin’?” I ask.

“Lift up, and relax.”

I lift my arse up enough for Claire to pull down my boxers. When my cock springs free, Claire let’s out a gasp before licking her lips again. I can see the lust she has for me in her wee eyes. 

“Wow.” She says. 

“Claire—“

“Don’t speak!” Claire demands forcefully. 

She sits up and takes my hard and throbbing cock in to her wee hand and begins to stroke me. As her wee hand moves down and up my erect member, she keeps her eyes focused straight on my own. 

I let out a hiss as soon as she starts to rub her other hand over my balls.

“Claire. I’m gonna—“

Before I can finish of my sentence, Claire pulls her hands away from me, stands up and begins to hike up her skirt so it sits around her waist. Slowly, she pulls down her underwear and kicks them off to the side before climbing to straddle me, but not quite lowering herself enough yet.

“Claire, it’s been so long, I’m no gonna last long.” I whisper.

“Good, me neither.” 

Wi’ that, Claire lowers herself onto me. Her left hand guiding my cock in to her drippin’, heated core, and her right hand holding on firmly to my left shoulder. We both let out a cry as we join ourselves for the first time since before our daughter was born. Neither one of us moves for a few moments as we just look straight in to each other’s eyes.

When we do begin to move together, there is nothin’ rushed or frantic about it like the kiss we shared earlier, but it’s slow and passionate. Loving.

When we finish, myself just seconds after Claire, we remain joined. Both our foreheads touching as we smile at one another.

“I love you too, Jamie. No matter what.” Claire whispers wi’ a smile splashed across her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys... here’s the thing. So, the epilogue which I was gonna post tomorrow is set six years later. I really like it, but at the same time, I feel bad that we only just saw Jamie and Claire get together right at the ends there. So, would you be interested in a bonus scene being posted tomorrow instead of the epilogue that shows more Jamie and Claire, and also how Faith feels about her parents finally reuniting? I’ve already written it, so it’s not like you’ll need to wait like a week or two for it, haha. Then I would go on and post the epilogue on Wednesday. 
> 
> It’s completely up to you guys. Bonus scene tomorrow, or epilogue? 
> 
> Let me know in the comments, and I’ll have something posted for you tomorrow.
> 
> Thanks again guys...
> 
> Kirsty X


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... here is the bonus scene before I drop the epilogue tomorrow. I’m not overly happy with this chapter, but I only wrote it a few days ago after editing the last chapter and the epilogue. I just felt something was needed with Faith finding out about her parents getting together.
> 
> The epilogue is set six years in the future, so it’s a bit of a jump, but I like it. I’ll post it tomorrow afternoon.
> 
> Then in the New Year, I’m going to start dropping some One Shots for this story because I just loved these characters so much and want to see how they progress and evolve. 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to follow along and to those who have left comments and kudos.
> 
> Kirsty X

Chapter Eleven

Christmas Day

Claire’s POV

Four weeks. That’s how long it’s been since I completely lost my mind and gave Jamie a hand job in my office before climbing all over him and shagging him on a bloody chair.

Then the couch in front of my window.

And then let him fuck me with his tongue on my desk.

What the hell was I thinking? 

I wasn’t thinking. Not clearly anyway.

I have never done anything like that before. What was going through my mind to make me think that was a good idea to have sex with Jamie in my bloody office at work. I work in a bloody hospital for Christ’s sake. As if it couldn’t be any more inappropriate.

The only good thing to come out of it was Jamie and I finally got our act together and decided to get back together. Though, we haven’t exactly told anyone yet. Especially Faith. She may be a teenager, but she’s still a child. Our child. Neither Jamie or I want to upset her if for whatever reason, we don’t work out. Jamie and I still have a lot of issues to work through. It would break my heart if things didn’t work out between us and it deeply affected Faith. We need to make sure we can make this work. For Faith, and ourselves.

It’s been difficult keeping things from Mum and Faith, but we know we’re doing it for the right reasons. We don’t want to put any pressure on ourselves.

Today is the first Christmas I get to spend with my daughter. The first Christmas I have spent in Inverness in thirteen years. It feels unreal to be quite honest. 

Unfortunately, I’m working later tonight. That means I won’t get to spend the whole day with Faith, but at least I get to see her open all her presents and have some Christmas dinner with her.

Since my cooking skills leave a little to be desired, according to Jamie, he is preparing the Christmas dinner for us all. There will be six of us for dinner in the afternoon, but the morning will only consist of Jamie and I, and our daughter. Jamie invited Mum over this morning too, but she kindly declined the offer and said it should just be the three of us. I was a little disappointed to be honest, but I understood and appreciated what she was doing for us by giving us this time.

“She’ll be up soon, Sassenach. She usually gets up about eight on Christmas Day.” Jamie whispers in to my ear from behind as I make us both coffee.

“And..?”

Jamie moves his arms to wrap around my waist from behind. “And... I was thinkin’ ye and I could have a wee smooch under the mistletoe before she comes down, and I have to do my verra best to keep my hands to myself.” 

“I think you should practice keeping your hands to yourself now. She might surprise you and come down early.” I say quietly.

Jamie rests his forehead on my shoulder and groans frustratingly in to my shoulder before moving away.

“I dinna ken why we canna just tell the lass. She’d be happy to ken we’re together. More importantly, she’ll be excited because we’re both really happy.”

“Jamie... I understand where you’re coming from, I do. I just... this is still early days for us. I don’t want Faith to get over excited in case things don’t work out as we want them to. We have to protect her from that.” I explain.

“She’s our daughter, Claire. I dinna like the idea of sneakin’ around behind her back. Besides, if Faith kent about us, we would probably get to spend more time together.”

Jamie has a point. Ever since that night in my office at work, we’ve only been on our own three times since then. And that’s including right now. All other communication has been done through text and phone calls. It’s been working, but I’m not sure how long it will continue to work. If Jamie and I are going to make this work, we need to make time to spend real quality time together. Alone. That means coming clean to Faith.

“You’re right.” I sigh and turn in Jamie’s arms to face him. “Looks like our daughter is getting an extra Christmas gift then.” I smile at Jamie as he pulls me closer and leans down to cover my mouth with his.

Unfortunately, Jamie and I don’t get to come clean to Faith after we watch her open her presents this morning, because Murtagh and Angus arrive a lot earlier than originally planned. And they’ve come with some unexpected visitors. Willie, Jenny, Ian, and their children.

“Dinna fash, lass,” Murtagh says to me, “I’ll go and fetch yer Mam from her wee flat in an hour or so. Angus didna expect Willie and the Murray’s so early this mornin’.”

“I didn’t even know they were coming.” I say. Trying my absolute best to keep my voice as neutral as possible.

It isn’t that I don’t want any of them here, it’s just the timing could have been a bit better. Though, it isn’t like anyone knew Jamie and I were about to tell our teenage daughter that we’ve been sneaking around for the past few weeks as we try and rebuild our relationship together. All Jamie and I can do now, is wait until everyone leaves, and then come clean to Faith. Until then though, we need to keep a safe distance from each other so we don’t make things too obvious.

Faith’s POV

Um... do my parents seriously think that no one in this house kens that they’re back together? They’ve been doin’ all they can to stay at least twelve feet apart all day. Well, except when it came to sittin’ down to Christmas dinner. 

Jenny came and asked me what was goin’ between Mam and Da because she had noticed the looks they had been giving each other from across the room. I told her that they hadna told me they’re together, but I’ve suspected somethin’ different between them for a couple of weeks now. They are so obvious, the only ones that dinna ken how obvious they are is them. Even my Gran asked me what was goin’ on. 

Since everyone was talkin’ about them and sniggering at the fact they were tryin’ to keep things secret, Jenny decided to swap her place at the table wi’ Mam, making Mam and Da sit next to one another. The way they tensed up when they realised they were to sit together, it was hilarious. I wish I had a decent phone so I could have snapped a picture.

Between the starter and the main course, Da drops his hand down to his side, but I can see his arm moving slightly. 

Is he... rubbing his hand up and down the top of Mam’s leg?

My theory is confirmed when my wee niece, Maggie says, “Uncle Jamie, maybe ye should give Auntie Claire a blanket to keep her legs warm. Ye’ll need that other hand of yours to hold yer fork when we eat the next course.” 

It was hilarious. How Maggie was able to keep a straight face as she called my Da out, I have no idea. 

The Murray weans still refer to me as “Auntie” Faith. They arena that much younger than me, so I was totally on board wi’ havin’ some cousins, but they said they still saw me as an Auntie, more than a cousin. I couldna complain. It is the way things have been since they were born. I mean, it’s been like seven months since the truth came out about Jamie bein’ my Da, but I dinna refer to Will as my Uncle, or Jenny as my Aunt. They’re still simply Will and Jenny. 

“I’m not your Aunt, sweetheart.” Mam explains to Maggie.

Everyone around the table burst out in to laughter. My Gran included. Mam and Da seriously thought they were bein’ discreet. They were definitely far from it.

“Och, Come. On.” I groan. “Dae ye’s really think nobody guessed ye’s are the gether? 

“From the moment everyone arrived they’ve been askin’ me what’s gan on between the pair of ye.” I tell them truthfully wi’ a smirk. “So come in then, how long? When did it start? How did it start? Are ye gettin’ married? Are we all goin’ to live together?” I blurt out question after question. 

I see Mam shrink down in her seat, and Da clicks his jaw in annoyance.

“What?” I ask innocently. “Ye canna be eye fucking each other all day and no expect us to say anythin’.”

Mam’s eyes snap up to me and narrow in disapproval of my language just then. Da stands up for the table and quietly demands I follow him upstairs for a chat.

Shit.

Why did Angus have to say they were “eye fucking” each other all day? Why did I have to say that exact thing to them? I am in so much trouble now.

I follow Da upstairs to my room. Just as he goes to close the door behind me, Mam appears too.

“Thought I’d be more use up here than being gawked at down there by everyone.” She mutters as she enters my room.

I sit down on the edge of my bed, and both my parents stand in front of me. Mam has her arms crossed over her chest, and Da has both his hands resting on his hips. They both look mad at me. Like... really mad. 

Hey, I wasna the one sneaking around though, was I?

“Sorry about what I said.” I say ashamedly. “Angus said it earlier, but I shouldna have repeated it.”

“No. Ye shouldn’t have!” Da barked at me. “I dinna want to hear words like that coming from your mouth again, Faith. Is that understood?”

I nod my head slowly and apologise again.

“As for your mother and I... it’s early days.” Da starts.

“We were planning on telling you this morning, but then everyone appeared early. We wanted to tell you ourselves. I’m sorry you found out by people gossiping.” Mam says.

“I didna. I mean... I kinda suspected a couple of weeks ago when Da dropped me off at yours. I went up to my room to dump my stuff, but when I came back down, I could have sworn I heard ye both say ye loved each other. I wasna certain though. But then the next day... I saw ye’s kiss out the back. I didna stick around long though. I kent ye’s would tell me when ye were ready. That’s why I didna ask. But ye’ve both been actin’ strange today, and people noticed. Ye couldna not notice.” I tell them.

Mam moves to sit beside me on the bed and rubs her hand up and down my back. “We just wanted to make sure we could make this work before we told you. It’s only really been a month, so it’s still really early days for us.”

“A month?!” I screech. “Wow. I didna expect that.” I tell them. “Wait, when do ye see each other? I mean... Mam works shifts, and Da works during the day. But ye both spend all yer free time wi’ me. When dae ye’s go out on dates and things?” I ask.

“We dinna.” Da says simply. “But I would like to rectify that. So... if it’s alright wi’ yer Gran, ye could maybe stay over at the flat once a week so I can take yer Mam out for dinner or somethin’.”

“Sounds good to me.” I say. “Gran wilna mind either. She’s been desperate for you two to get back together since Mam moved back properly.” I inform them.

“And how do you feel about your father and I giving things another go? If you don’t agree for whatever reason, we’ll stop immediately.” Mam tells me.

“We will?” Da blurts out, and I canna help but giggle at the look on his face. Or Mam’s.

“Of course I’m happy about this. I’ve wanted it for so long. I can see how much ye both love each other. I also ken it wilna be easy because of what happened in the past, but I’m glad your both at least trying to move forward. Together. I canna even tell ye how happy I am right now.” I gush wi’ excitement. “This is the best Christmas present ever.” I squeal before jumping up to hug Da.

“I think we can see that.” Da laughs. 

“So... can we go downstairs and tell everyone now? I mean they all ken, ye just need to confirm it and then we can all get back to enjoyin’ out first family Christmas together.” 

“Come on then, lass.” Da says before reaching out his hand to pull Mam off my bed. 

He pulls her hard and smacks his lips over hers in a quick kiss. It’s cute, but not somethin’ I want to witness all the time.

“Just keep the PDA to a minimum, please. Murtagh has already told me about the time he walked in on Da—“ I stop myself from sayin’ any more and try to shake the thought from my head. “Never mind. Just... kept it kid friendly, okay?”

Mam and Da both laugh.

“This you admitting yer still a bairn then?” Da asks me as we walk out of my room.

“Nope. But I’ll always be your bairn.” I smile at him.

“Aye. Always have been, always will be.”


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening guys... so, I have to post the Epilogue a day earlier than planned, though I’m sure you won’t be complaining too much 😂 Anyway, I just want to that each and every one of you for taking the time to follow along with this story. I know it wasn’t a long one, but I hope you still enjoyed it none the less. I will be popping back in the mew year to drop some one shots now and again so we can see what’s going on with this wee family. I hope you will all be interested in reading them too.
> 
> Thanks again for all the lovely comments and kudos you have left on this fic, I really appreciate.
> 
> Anyway, I’m going to take a wee break from AO3 for a wee while, but I’ll be back in the New Year to finish off what I’ve already started, and maybe even drop a couple more ideas I’ve been working away on.
> 
> I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, and I really hope 2021 will be a LOT better than 2020 had been.
> 
> Thank you for all the love and support this year.
> 
> Much love to you all, 
> 
> Kirsty X 🤍

Epilogue

Six years later...

Faith’s POV

I canna believe it. 

How did this even happen? We were careful. We’re always so bloody careful!

I drop the positive pregnancy test in to the sink because my hands are shaking so much. This wasna part of the plan. Not yet anyway. My Da is goin’ to kill me. Like actually kill me. John and I arena even married yet. Engaged, aye, but my parents don’t even ken that yet. I was goin’ to tell them tonight over dinner.

How did this happen? 

“Babe, are ye ready to go?” I hear John calling me from our bedroom. “Your parents will wonder where we are if we dinna get a shift on.”

My parents. Right. John and I are travelin’ up to Inverness to spend part of our summer break there before we start our second year at Uni in Stirling.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” I call back, but I scold myself for allowing my voice to shake so much. John will definitely ken somethin’s up.

There’s a knock on the en-suite door.

“Babe, open up. What’s wrong?”

I take a deep breath and let it out before moving to open the door. Slowly. My gentle giant of a boyfriend of three years, who only just proposed to me last weekend is standing at the other side of the door frame, lookin’ at me as if he’s scared I’m about to burst in to flames. 

John cautiously reaches a hand out to take one of mine. “What’s wrong?” He asks again. 

Before I can tell him about the positive pregnancy test laying in the sink basin, my lower lip begins to tremble and I burst out in to tears. Poor John wastes no time in gathering me in to his arms and holding me as he tries to calm me down. 

He walks me backwards, and lifts me up to sit me on the countertop beside the sink. His eyes are focused on mine, so he doesna see the wee white stick sittin’ in the sink basin. No until I turn my head to glance down at it myself.

John’s eyes must follow mine, and he sees it. He picks up the stick and looks at the wee screen that says pregnant on it. His face is... blank. But only for a few moments before I see the side of his mouth quirk up in to a small smile. 

“H-how? We’ve always been so careful.” John asks me as he hands me over some tissues to blow my nose. John uses a separate tissue to dab away my tears.

“I dinna ken.” I tell him truthfully. “We always use condoms. And... I swear to ye I’ve never missed a pill. I promise.” I cry.

“Hey... hey... dinna cry. It’s okay.” John says as he pulls me in to his arms.

“It isna okay.” I cry in to his shoulder. “I’ve only just turned nineteen. We have another three years left at Uni. How are we meant to factor in a baby? You dinna have any family, John, and mine... they live over two and a half hours away. On a good day!” I snap.

“Look,” John picks up the test again. “I’m sure we have plenty of time to decide what we’re going to do, alright? But whatever we decide, we’ll get through it, okay? Together.”

I nod my head and kiss John quickly before she steps back to let me down from the counter top. John tells me to go and wait in the car and he makes his way to grab all of our bags.

The trip to Inverness was just as boring as usual, only this time, ye could cut the atmosphere between my new fiancé and I wi’ a knife. We’ve talked about starting a family a million times before. The plan was to finish uni, try and get decent jobs in the career we want, John as a modern language teacher, and me as a PE teacher. We arena in the same mind about marriage though, we both want to do that as soon as we can, but starting a family? It just doesna seem like the right time. John is an only child, and even though I did technically grow up wi’ three siblings, there was such a huge age gap between us all. I might as well been classed as an only child. Then when the truth came out about Jamie bein’ my Da, I did become an only child.

When my parents got back together six years ago, I prayed they would have another bairn. I wanted them to have the chance of being parents together. Raising a child together. They only got a few short years of raising me as their own before I came to Stirling for Uni last year.

I also had my own selfish reasons for them to have another bairn. I wanted a sibling. Simple as that. Even though I was a teenager, my parents were still young enough to have more children. It wasn’t meant to be though.

That’s why John and I both said early on in our relationship that we both wanted big families. At least three children, but hopefully god would bless us wi’ more. I guess our wish was startin’ to come true. I just wish we were more settled than we are just now. 

“We have options, Faith.” John reminds me as we pull our luggage out of the boot of the car.

“I know. But... can we discuss this inside instead of in the middle of the driveway?” 

“Of course. Come on.” 

Da text me about an hour ago and told me just to let ourselves in to the house. He and Mam have been held up while doing some errands in the city. 

I slide the key in to the lock and open up the door. I walk in ahead of John and leave my keys down on the side table in the hallway. I leave my handbag on the couch before looking around the house I grew up in. It’s so different to how it was when I was a kid. Mam made sure of that.

When she and Da decided to move in together after dating steadily for a year, it was decided she would move in to our house. I dinna think she was too keen on the idea. I dinna think it was Da’s first choice either. To Mam, this was the house where I grew up. Wi’out her. It was where I was raised by my grandparents, and not her and Da. To Da, this was his childhood home just as much as it was mine, but it was also like a prison to him for such a long time. 

When they asked me which house I wanted to stay in, I decided on this house. Not because it meant so much to me, but because I assumed it meant a lot to Da. Mam and Da have spent the last few years doin’ their best to decorate the house to their own taste and make it feel more like theirs. I dinna think it’s worked though. 

When Ellen passed away, the house was left to Will, Jenny, Da and I. Will and Jenny decided to let Da and I stay in the house since it was our home. They didna want the house, so it was left for Da and I to do whatever we wished. 

Then about four years ago, Will and Jenny both came to visit and told Da and I they were signing their share of the house over to Da. Then when I turned eighteen, I did the same. Da now owns the whole house, but he doesna want it. He and Ma decided not long after I moved to Stirling last year for uni, to sell the house and move somewhere new. Start a fresh. I felt guilty that I was the only reason they stayed in that house. I just thought because it had been in the family for a few generations, Da would want to keep it that way. He doesn’t though. And neither do Will or Jenny. Neither of them live in Inverness anymore, and they have no intention in moving back any time soon, so...

They havena sold the house yet though because they want to move in to a house that can be their forever home. They don’t want to move to then have to move again. Not that I blame them. Moving is a nightmare. I remember the hassle of John and I moving in to our house last summer. It was more hassle since we were both moving from Inverness. We managed though. It took a lot of help from Mam and Da though. Even Jenny and Ian came over to help. Well, Ian helped, Jenny just ordered everyone around. Bossy cow that she is. But... gotta love her. 

Jenny and I seem to be gettin’ on much better these days. I dinna ken if it’s the fact we live closer to each other now, or the fact I ken she’s my Aunt, and no my sister. Could just be because I’m an adult now. I dinna ken, but I like catching up wi’ her once a fortnight for lunch.

John comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist after leaving our luggage in my old bedroom. His hands skim up to rest on my stomach. I ken what he’s thinkin’.

“Do you want to talk about it now before your parents return?” He asks me softly.

I turn my head slightly so I can kiss the side of his gorgeous face. “I can’t get rid of it.” I tell him. “I don’t believe I could ever be okay with having a termination. I definitely know I couldn’t hand my child over to some random strangers, not after what happened to me.” I turn myself in his arms so that we’re facing one another. “What if my grandparents never found out about me not being adopted? What if my family thought is was living my best life wi’ another family, when I was really growing up in the foster system. I canna risk doing that to my own child, John.”

“So... we’re having a baby?” John smiles at me.

I nod my head as I grin back at him. “We’re having a baby.” I agree.

Claire’s POV

My baby girl is coming home today, and I can’t wait. I haven’t seen her almost three months. Jamie went to Stirling to visit Faith and her partner a few weeks ago, but due to my work schedule, I wasn’t able to go with him. 

Jamie and I are doing really well. We were married in a small ceremony surrounded by our closest friends and family just over four years ago. Unfortunately none of our parents were there because they had all sadly passed away, but we know they were there in spirit. I definitely felt my Mum with me throughout the day. Jenny and my friend Gillian served as my bridesmaids, and it was my beautiful baby girl who walked me down the aisle and gave me away to her father. As soon as she gave me away, she stepped over to Jamie’s side and stood as his best woman. It was perfect. Jamie and I only wish we got to do it all sooner. A lot sooner.

But here we are... nineteen years after I left Jamie and our life behind, thinking I would never have anything to do with him again. Thinking I would never see my daughter again. But we’re happily married with a wonderful daughter. And... another child on the way.

Not that Faith knows that yet. Jamie was desperate to tell her when he went to visit, but I made him promise to wait until she came home. I wanted to tell her in person. I honestly don’t know how she’ll react. Jamie thinks she’ll be over the moon to have a baby brother or sister, but I’m not so convinced. She will probably cringe at the idea of her parents still having sex and not bothering to be careful about it either. Not that I would blame her.

Jamie and I are excited though. This time we get to see the entire pregnancy through together without the complications of heated arguments about our child’s future. Jamie and I will finally get to raise our child together. We got to raise Faith together for a few years there, but I missed out on so much. Jamie had kept a photo album on his computer with pictures of Faith throughout the years. There was even a folder of videos of her too. It was amazing to see. It felt even more special when Jamie admitted he purposely made the albums with the hopes of sharing them with me one day. It was very sweet of him, and made me love him even more, if that was even possible. I just wish I didn’t have to see my daughter grow up through pictures and videos.

When Jamie and I pull in to the driveway and park up beside John’s car, I start to feel a little panicked.

“What if she freaks out about the baby and hates us?” I ask Jamie before he moves to exit the car.

“Calm down, Claire. Trust me, she’ll be over the moon to have a new bairn in the family. She’s always been good wi’ bairns.”

“This is different, Jamie. I’m not exactly... young, am I?”

“Sassenach... the midwife says everythin’ is fine. No need to worry or panic. We have a beautiful, healthy baby growin’ big and strong in there.” Jamie places a hand gently over my growing bump. “Everythin’ is goin’ to be fine.” 

“Maybe we should have prepared her instead of just throwing it in her face as soon as we see her.”

“I did say I wanted to tell her before, but ye made me promise to wait till she came home.” Jamie laughs.

I take a deep breath. “Right. Let’s do this.”

When Jamie and I walk inside, we head straight through to the living room and find Faith curled up on the sofa with John. They look so happy and peaceful, I almost don’t want to disturb them. They remind me so much of Jamie and I when we were a bit younger than they are.

Unfortunately, Jamie doesn’t seem to care how content the pair look snuggled up together on the sofa. He clears his throat and the pair snap their heads up to look at us. Faith jumps up off the couch and runs towards Jamie and wraps her arms tightly round his neck. 

Really, you would think it’s been a life time since they last saw each other. 

John is the first one to catch a glimpse of my growing bump. He looks up to meet my eye and smiles and mouths “congratulations.” I smile back and mouth “thank you.”

Once Faith is able to tear herself away from her father, she turns to me as Jamie and John shake hands. Faith doesn’t even notice the bump until she feels it when she reaches in to give me a hug.

“Whoa! H-how? A-are?” She stammers before turning to her father. “Ye knocked her up? Again?!” She squeals. And not in a good way I might add. “Dae ye‘s no learn? What were ye’s thinkin’?!”

“Now lass—“ Jamie goes to warn Faith, but before he can finish what he’s about say, he notices the big diamond rock on our baby girls ring finger about the same time I do. “Ye’re engaged?!” 

Faith doesn’t answer. She just leaves the room and storms off upstairs to her room, leaving her new fiancé alone with Jamie and I. And it isn’t awkward at all... I’m being sarcastic by the way.

“Hormones.” John comments.

Jamie just grunts before turning to make his way after Faith. I grab his arm and suggest he stay put and let me speak to her. 

I had a feeling things may not go too well with this news, but I didn’t expect her to react as badly as this. I thought she would have been shocked, maybe a little uncomfortable, but she seems flat out angry at us. 

I don’t even knock before entering her room, I just walk straight in to find my baby girl sat on the edge of the bed with a pregnancy test in her hands. Faith looks up at me and screams at me to leave her alone.

“Alright. Alright.” I say calmly. “Come downstairs when you’re ready. I think we all have some things to talk about.” 

I’m not even downstairs for five minutes when Faith slowly edges her way in to the living room and moves to sit next to John on the sofa.

“John proposed to me a couple of weeks ago, and I accepted. We havena set a date or anythin’ but we do wish to start plannin’ soon. I didna tell ye’s because I wanted to tell ye both in person. I expect that’s what ye both wanted to do about the baby, eh?”

I move to sit next to Faith and take her hand in mine. “Congratulations. To both of you.” I tell them.

Jamie gets up and so does John and they shake hands and hug as Jamie welcomes John in to the family.

“Sorry I freaked out about the bairn.” Faith mumbles.

“It’s alright. I know it’s a shock.” I say.

“I need to tell ye’s somethin’, but please dinna get mad, Da.” 

“About what?” Jamie gives Faith a stern look.

“Now, dinna think we only got engaged because of this, because we didna. I didna even ken for sure until this mornin’. I thought it was just stress from exams and stuff.” Faith rambles.

Judging by what I saw her holding in her room a few minutes ago, I’m fairly certain where she’s going with this. Poor Jamie is about to get the wind blown out of him though.

“What’s wrong, lass?” Jamie asks Faith.

Faith looks over to John and he nods his head as he reaches his hand out to pull her up to him.

“I did a pregnancy test of my own this morning. It was positive.” Faith smiles.

“Ye’re... wi’ child?” Jamie asks dumbly.

“Congratulations, sweetheart.” I say as I pull my little girl in to a hug. “You are going to make a fantastic Mum. How far along are you?”

“Not a hundred percent sure. Like I said, I thought it was the stress of exams that made me miss a couple of periods. I’ll make a doctors appointment when we get home though and get it confirmed.” She tells me.

“And... are you happy? Clearly this wasn’t planned?” I ask. 

“Well, no. It wasn't. Well, no right now anyway, but aye. We’re both happy.” John answers with a bright smile plastered across his face.

“How far along are you?” Faith asks as the four of us move in to the kitchen to sit at the dining table and Jamie gets to work on making some drinks for us all. 

“Just coming up to twenty weeks.” I tell her. “The bump just seemed to appear out of nowhere though. Didn’t it, darling?” 

“Aye.” A Jamie answers with a smile. “This one is definitely going to be a bigger bairn than you were, a leannan.” Jamie laughs.

“I’m sorry I took off like that, it’s just...” Faith takes a deep breath before continuing, “When I was a child, I always dreamed of having a sibling or two—“

“A sibling or two?” Jamie cuts in. “Ye had three.” He laughs at her.

“Well, technically aye, but I never really saw Will, and me and Jenny never really got on all that much. It was really just you and me, but yer eighteen years older than me, remember?” Faith points out to Jamie. “What I mean is, when the two of ye got back together, I hoped that ye would give me a sibling, but ye didna.”

“But we are now, lass.” Jamie says gently.

“I ken, it’s just weird, right? I mean... I literally found out I’m pregnant wi’ a bairn of my own, and then I come home to learn that my mother is pregnant, and my sibling will be a couple of months older than their niece or nephew. It’s just a lot to wrap my head around.” Faith explains.

“But you’re okay with this? Now the shocks dying down a bit, are you happy for us?” I ask her as I smooth back some stray curls behind her ear.

She smiles and nods her head enthusiastically.

“I just have to ask one thing.” Faith states.

“What’s that?” Jamie asks warily.

Even John is wondering what she’s going to say next.

“I ken John and I are still in Uni and that, but ye arena gonna suggest ye adopt my bairn and raise it as my sibling, are ye?” Faith asks.

We all fall completely silent. Jamie and I look to each other in confusion. Has what happened in the past really made her think that Jamie and I could do to her what was done to us? 

“Faith...” I reach out place my hand on the side of her cheek.

“I was just joking.” Faith says with a small laugh. “Too soon?” She asks with a smile tugging at the side of her lips.

I drop my hand in to my lap and roll my eyes at my baby girl. Jamie scoffs and moves to bring over the lemonade he just poured everyone.

“Aye. Too soon.” He grunted at her. “Yer mother and I would never do what our parents did to us. Ye might only be nineteen, a leannan, but I ken how much the pair of ye love and adore one another. I ken ye’ll both make fine parents, and yer mother and I are here to support ye every step of the way. Aren’t we, Claire?”

“Of course.” I assure both Faith and John.

“What happened before Faith, that ended up being the story of us. The story of yer mother and I, not you. This though...” Jamie moves his finger between Faith and John, “This is just the start of your story, lass. And I ken it’s goin’ to be the greatest story of all.”


End file.
